"I Am Not Yours" Analysis

I am not yours, not lost in you,
Not lost, although I long to be
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.

You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright,
Yet I am I, who long to be
Lost as a light is lost in light.

Oh plunge me deep in love -- put out
My senses, leave me deaf and blind,
Swept by the tempest of your love,
A taper in a rushing wind.

.: English :.

I think this so often reflects my relationship with Jesus. I long to be lost in him but find myself holding things back. To be fully his I have to give myself to him. He won't take me against my will. To give myself to Jesus I need to trust him. To trust someone completely... am I willing?

I find it hard to trust that people won't leave me. It's not so much trusting them but trusting myself. I don't want to get hurt anymore and so don't let myself trust people. My head and heart are saying two different things.

There are some people I do trust, some I'd trust with my life, some I know would never tell anyone what I might tell them. But I get scared they'll leave me. So I don't dare to love them. "It's not you, it's me..." no really...

I find myself thinking Jesus will always be annoyed with me. I think people always are and therefore my Lord too. I need to trust people not to hurt me but before I can do that I need to trust Jesus to protect me.

Hmm... I don't really know where I'm going with this, it just kind of... flowed. But what I'm getting at is that this poem made sense to me. I hope it makes sense to you, even if I don't. Bear with me, I might get there one day! :o)

| Posted on 2005-06-23 | by Approved Guest