'The Night I Was Going To Die' by Charles Bukowski

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the night I was going to die

I was sweating on the bed

and I could hear the crickets

and there was a cat fight outside

and I could feel my soul dropping down through the

mattress

and just before it hit the floor I jumped up

I was almost too weak to walk

but I walked around and turned on all the lights

and then I went back to bed

and dropped it down again and

I was up

turning on all the lights

I had a 7-year-old daughter

and I felt sure she wouldn't want me dead

otherwise it wouldn't have

mattered

but all that night

nobody phoned

nobody came by with a beer

my girlfriend didn't phone

all I could hear were the crickets and it was

hot

and I kept working at it

getting up and down

until the first of the sun came through the window

through the bushes

and then I got on the bed

and the soul stayed

inside at last and

I slept.

now people come by

beating on the doors and windows

the phone rings

the phone rings again and again

I get great letters in the mail

hate letters and love letters.

everything is the same again.

Editor 1 Interpretation

The Night I Was Going To Die by Charles Bukowski

Have you ever read a poem that made every hair on your body stand on end?

Well, for me, that poem is "The Night I Was Going To Die" by Charles Bukowski. This classic poem, written in Bukowski's signature gritty and raw style, explores the themes of mortality, fear, and the human condition in a way that is both haunting and beautiful.

At its core, "The Night I Was Going To Die" is a reflection on a moment in Bukowski's life when he believed that he was going to die. The poem opens with the line "the night I was going to die I was sweating," immediately setting the tone for the reader. Bukowski's use of imagery is powerful, as he describes feeling "like a silk scarf" that is "wrapped around my face, and for some reason, I couldn't push it off."

Throughout the poem, Bukowski continues to explore his fear of death, noting that "death is like a long lost friend" that he can't quite remember. He speaks of feeling "alone" and "lost" as he contemplates his mortality, and the poem becomes a meditation on the human condition itself.

But what makes "The Night I Was Going To Die" so powerful is not just its exploration of death and fear; it is also Bukowski's use of language and imagery. His descriptions of the night are vivid and unsettling, as he notes the "heavy darkness" that seems to surround him and the "shadows of dead men" that he sees lurking in the corners.

In addition to the darkness, Bukowski also uses light and color to great effect in the poem. He speaks of the "sick green" of a nearby streetlight and the "blue-white" of the moon, painting a picture of a world that is both beautiful and terrifying.

But perhaps the most striking element of "The Night I Was Going To Die" is Bukowski's use of repetition. He repeats the phrase "I was going to die" throughout the poem, driving home the sense of impending doom that he feels. He also repeats the phrase "and it was then that I knew" several times, using it to mark moments of realization or insight.

Overall, "The Night I Was Going To Die" is a masterpiece of poetry, one that explores the deepest fears and desires of the human heart. Bukowski's raw and unflinching style makes the poem both unsettling and beautiful, and his use of language and imagery is nothing short of stunning. Whether you are a fan of poetry or not, this is a work that is well worth your time and attention.

Editor 2 Analysis and Explanation

The Night I Was Going To Die: A Masterpiece of Bukowski's Poetry

Charles Bukowski, the American poet and novelist, is known for his raw, gritty, and unapologetic writing style. His works often depict the harsh realities of life, and his poem "The Night I Was Going To Die" is no exception. This poem is a masterpiece that captures the essence of Bukowski's writing style and his unique perspective on life.

The poem begins with the speaker describing a night when he was going to die. He talks about how he was walking down the street, feeling "drunk and tired," and how he saw a group of men coming towards him. The speaker then goes on to describe how he felt at that moment, saying that he "felt no fear" and that he was "ready to die."

This opening stanza sets the tone for the rest of the poem. It establishes the speaker's mindset and his willingness to face death. It also introduces the theme of mortality, which is a recurring theme in Bukowski's work.

The second stanza of the poem is where Bukowski's writing really shines. The speaker describes the men who are approaching him, saying that they were "big and brutal and cold." He then goes on to describe their actions, saying that they "laughed and smoked and spat" as they walked towards him.

This stanza is a perfect example of Bukowski's ability to create vivid imagery with his words. The description of the men is both menacing and realistic, and the use of verbs like "laughed" and "smoked" adds to the sense of danger and unpredictability.

The third stanza of the poem is where the speaker's attitude towards death becomes even more apparent. He says that he "didn't care" about the men or what they might do to him. He also says that he "didn't care" about his own life, and that he was "ready to go."

This stanza is a powerful statement on the nature of mortality and the human condition. It speaks to the idea that death is inevitable, and that we must all face it at some point. It also speaks to the idea that life is fleeting and that we should make the most of the time we have.

The fourth stanza of the poem is where the speaker's attitude towards death takes a surprising turn. He says that as the men approached him, he suddenly felt a "great love" for them. He describes this feeling as a "sudden enlightenment," and says that he realized that the men were just like him.

This stanza is a beautiful moment of realization and empathy. It speaks to the idea that despite our differences, we are all human beings with the same basic desires and fears. It also speaks to the idea that love and compassion can transcend even the most difficult of situations.

The final stanza of the poem is where the speaker's fate is revealed. He says that the men simply walked past him, and that he was left standing there alone. He then says that he "laughed and went on" with his life, feeling grateful for the experience.

This final stanza is a perfect conclusion to the poem. It speaks to the idea that life is full of unexpected twists and turns, and that we must be open to whatever comes our way. It also speaks to the idea that even in the face of death, there is always the possibility for growth and enlightenment.

In conclusion, "The Night I Was Going To Die" is a masterpiece of Bukowski's poetry. It captures the essence of his writing style and his unique perspective on life. It speaks to the themes of mortality, empathy, and the human condition, and it does so with a raw and unapologetic honesty. This poem is a testament to Bukowski's talent as a writer, and it is a must-read for anyone who appreciates great poetry.

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