'You Asked How (formerly Even Now She Is Turning, Saying Everything I Always Wanted Her to Say)' by Nick Flynn


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At the end there were straws
in her glove compartment, I'd split them open
to taste the familiar bitter residue, near the end
I ate all her Percodans, hungry to know
how far they could take me.
A bottle of red wine each night moved her along
as she wrote, I feel too much, again and again.

You asked how and I said, Suicide, and you asked
how and I said, An overdose, and then
she shot herself, and your eyes filled
with wonder, so I added, In the chest, so you
wouldn't think
her face was gone, and it mattered, somehow,
that you knew this. . .

Every year I'm eight years old and the world
is no longer safe. Our phone becomes unlisted, our mail
is kept in a box at the post office,
and my mother tells me always
leave a light on so it seems
someone is home. She finds a cop
for her next boyfriend, his hair
greasy, pushed back with his fingers. He lets me play
with his service revolver while they kiss
on the couch. Cars slowly fill the windows, and I aim,
making the noise with my mouth, in case it's them,
and when his back is hunched over her I aim
between his shoulder blades, silently,
in case it's him.

Editor 1 Interpretation

You Asked How (formerly Even Now She Is Turning, Saying Everything I Always Wanted Her to Say) by Nick Flynn

An Analysis of Love, Loss, and Longing in Poetry

When it comes to poetry, the best works are those that leave an impression on the reader's mind. Poems that awaken emotions, stir up memories, and make us think about life's most complex issues. One such poem that does all of these is Nick Flynn's "You Asked How" (formerly known as "Even Now She Is Turning, Saying Everything I Always Wanted Her to Say"). This poem, with its simple yet evocative language, explores the themes of love, loss, and longing.

A Deep Dive Into the Poem's Structure

Before diving into the poem's meaning, it's important to take a closer look at the structure. This poem is composed of six stanzas, each with four lines. The poem's structure creates a feeling of a never-ending cycle, much like the cycle of love and loss. Each stanza presents a snapshot of an important moment or emotion, creating a larger picture of the speaker's feelings towards a loved one.

The Poem's Key Themes

The central theme that runs throughout the poem is love and loss. The speaker is deeply in love with someone, but they are no longer together. The phrase "even now" suggests that the speaker is still thinking about this person despite their absence. The repetition of this phrase throughout the poem highlights the speaker's longing and ache for this individual.

The poem's title, "You Asked How," also alludes to another important theme: communication. This person, who is no longer with the speaker, is still communicating with them in their thoughts and dreams. The speaker wishes that this person would say everything that they always wanted to hear.

A Closer Look at the Poem's Language

The poem's simple and straightforward language creates a sense of intimacy and immediacy. The repetition of "even now" and the use of the present tense in the poem help to convey the speaker's desire for the loved one to return. This effect is particularly poignant in the stanza "even now she is turning, saying everything I always wanted her to say." The present tense and the use of the word "turning" create a sense of physical presence, as if the loved one is standing right in front of the speaker, conveying all the things they always wanted to hear.

The use of alliteration is also notable in the poem. In the stanza "even now she is talking, telling everyone," the repetition of the "t" sound creates a sense of the loved one's voice and the words they are saying. The use of the word "everyone" suggests that the loved one's words are not just meant for the speaker, but for everyone to hear.

The Poem's Emotional Impact

"You Asked How" is a deeply emotional poem that captures the essence of love and loss in a simple yet powerful way. The poem's structure creates a sense of continuity and longing, while the language used evokes a feeling of intimacy and immediacy. The key themes of love, loss, and communication are all interconnected, creating a beautiful and haunting portrait of the speaker's emotions.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Nick Flynn's "You Asked How" (formerly "Even Now She Is Turning, Saying Everything I Always Wanted Her to Say") is a beautiful and evocative poem that captures the essence of love and loss. The poem's structure, language, and themes all work together to create a powerful and emotional impact on the reader. This poem is a testament to the power of poetry to touch our hearts and souls, and to make us feel deeply about the world around us.

Editor 2 Analysis and Explanation

You Asked How: A Poem of Love, Loss, and Longing

Nick Flynn's poem "You Asked How" (formerly known as "Even Now She Is Turning, Saying Everything I Always Wanted Her to Say") is a hauntingly beautiful piece that explores the complexities of love, loss, and longing. Through vivid imagery and powerful metaphors, Flynn takes the reader on a journey through the speaker's memories and emotions, as he reflects on a past relationship and the feelings that still linger.

The poem opens with the speaker addressing an unnamed person, who has apparently asked him a question: "You asked how the past can be so present." This sets the tone for the rest of the poem, as the speaker delves into his memories and the ways in which they continue to affect him. He describes how, even though the relationship is over, he still feels its presence in his life:

"Even now she is turning, saying everything I always wanted her to say, and I am turning too, saying everything she wanted me to say, and she is still leaving."

This stanza is particularly powerful, as it captures the paradoxical nature of the speaker's feelings. On the one hand, he longs for the woman to say the things he always wanted to hear, but on the other hand, he knows that even if she did, it wouldn't change the fact that she's gone. The repetition of "turning" emphasizes the circular nature of the speaker's thoughts and emotions, as he keeps coming back to the same feelings of longing and loss.

Throughout the poem, Flynn uses vivid imagery to convey the speaker's emotions. For example, he describes how the woman's absence feels like a "hole in the world," and how memories of her are like "a room with the door closed." These metaphors are both powerful and relatable, as they capture the way in which the absence of a loved one can feel like a physical presence in one's life.

Another striking aspect of the poem is the way in which it plays with time. The speaker describes how he and the woman are "still leaving," even though the relationship ended long ago. This suggests that the feelings of loss and longing are not confined to a specific moment in time, but rather continue to reverberate through the speaker's life. The poem also contains several references to the past, such as the line "I remember the way she laughed," which further emphasizes the idea that the past is still present in the speaker's mind.

One of the most poignant moments in the poem comes towards the end, when the speaker describes how he still dreams of the woman:

"I dream of her sometimes, and in my dreams we are always about to meet, but we never do."

This line is heartbreaking in its simplicity, as it captures the way in which the speaker's longing for the woman is both intense and futile. The fact that they never actually meet in the dreams suggests that the speaker knows, on some level, that the relationship is over and that he can never recapture what he once had.

Overall, "You Asked How" is a powerful and moving poem that explores the complexities of love, loss, and longing. Through vivid imagery and powerful metaphors, Nick Flynn captures the circular nature of the speaker's thoughts and emotions, as he continues to grapple with the aftermath of a past relationship. The poem is a testament to the enduring power of memory and the ways in which our past experiences continue to shape us, even long after they are over.

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