Jessica Lynn


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Jessica Bailey
22/f/mn


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  • 238
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  • Art Copyright Jimmy Ruska




    Growl


    Mood: Rant

    Posted on 2013-05-25 00:34:58


       Confessions of an Angry Insomniac

    A wicked world lies behind closed eyes,
    where daydreams
    are followed by violent death scenes.

    I'm my executioner,
    I always have been.
    I'm good with a blade,
    I'm my worst best friend.

    "Sabotage anyone?"
    I'm alone in the room.
    But I serve it on a platter
    While the bright full moon
    laughs and taunts
    to hell with that moon.
    Darkness my friend,
    Is always soon.

    Too soon to leave
    too soon to arrive.
    Destruction and chaos of my mind,
    At least they make me feel alive.

    I hate to be awake,
    I don't want to think!!
    Fuck my responsibilities!
    Fuck these feelings!!!

    Fuck these desires,
    And fuck memories.
    They are overated anyway,
    Fresh graves in old cemeteries.

    I buried them deep,
    Why the hell do they rise?
    Oh I know,
    Because I can't keep on lying.

    So I talk to myself-
    Who else do I have?
    I say Jessica just stop it!
    And then Jessica laughs.

    "Sabotage anyone?"
    Suddenly I'm starved.
    Why not huh?
    It's not like I'll get far
    From the fucking echoes,
    and old heartbreaks.
    FUCK THEM ALL!!!!!
    Why should I care
    And what will that solve?

    Really though?

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    a string


    Mood: Brain Fried

    Posted on 2013-05-23 22:07:26


       Too much coffee.
    Not enough sleep.
    A headache, a heartache,
    a busy schedule to keep.

    We all have our problems,
    we all have our needs.
    Some, they have flowers,
    others, they grow weeds.

    The earth keeps on spinning,
    no matter how we feel.
    In the end we all wonder,
    does it matter what is real?

    Dreaming strange dreams,
    digging up the past.
    Looking to the sky,
    time passing by so fast.

    Where are we going,
    why do we stay silent?
    Who knows of good and evil?
    why it's important to be quiet?

    We are all tired here on earth.
    We all ask of death and life.
    We all wonder the meaning
    behind our meaningless strife.

    what I really want to know
    is why we hold ourselves back,
    from things that make us happy,
    why we play and act
    and lie to ourselves
    as if our lies come true....
    but they won't and you know it,
    what's in your way- is you.


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    JOURNAL ENTRY


    Mood: ERGA

    Posted on 2013-05-23 17:54:04


       DEAR JOURNAL,

    MY REAL JOURNALS WERE STOLEN. THIS MAKES ME SAD AND PARANOID I AM GOING TO FORGET THINGS. DAMN IT. I AM GLAD THINGS ARE ALWAYS SAVED ONLINE, BUT MOSTLY POETRY, EMAILS, AND A FEW BLOGS ARE ALL THAT IS LEFT. I HOPE THERE IS MORE ON MY OTHER COMPUTER. IT'S LIKE A CHUNK OF ME WAS TAKEN. TOO MUCH COFFEE AND NOT ENOUGH ENTERTAINMENT KEEP ME IN MOURNING FOR MY MEMORIES, ALL BECAUSE THE CRACK-HEAD NEIGHBORS LEFT THE FRICKEN BASEMENT DOOR OPEN ALL NIGHT. SO DEPRESSING. I GUESS THE ORIGIN OF SUFFERING IS ATTACHMENT ANYWAY... BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT HAVE FLASHBACKS. RAWR. THIS MUST BE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE A NON-JOURNALIST. EXCEPT THIS IS A JOURNAL ENTRY. IRONIC. LOVELY.

    FEELING STRANGE,
    JESSICA B.

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    strange dreams


    Mood: Confused

    Posted on 2013-05-05 10:48:54


       whispers in my sleep,
    in heated darkness,
    demons creep.

    They give me candy in my dreams,
    Is it really as sweet as it seems.
    Dreaming Jessica cannot help it,
    temptation shall not be my forfeit.

    Bitter comes and sweetness goes.
    Remembering and feeling those ancient woes.
    Hearing what I wanted to hear,
    yet still it makes me shed a tear.

    Now I go the rest of the day,
    remembering and digging up ancient graves.
    sewing back up ancient wounds,
    recalling what it was to be the loser.

    I thank the demons for their gift,
    Candy and tears before I drift
    off into vivid reality.
    And wonder what the hell just happened to me....

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    Destiny


    Mood: The Usual

    Posted on 2013-02-27 17:42:48


       All the world is falling,
    and I hear the wind just calling me,
    pulling me to elsewhere,
    so
    I feel like I need to go there,
    but I don't want to,
    I just have to,
    like there's nothing else I can do.
    I don't have to make a decision,
    it's more of a mission,
    a prophetic vision,
    a destiny in remission,
    so I say to myself,
    have patience,
    this isn't a race,
    or another daydream.
    This isn't a hope or as strange
    as it may seem.
    We need to have purpose,
    if we don't then life is worthless.
    With so much beauty in nature,
    too many details to be so sure,
    that destiny's not real,
    and it's irrational to feel,
    otherwise-
    either a fool or too wise.
    no matter- it's important to disbelieve,
    that one person cannot receive,
    a duty beyond the stars
    just in case,
    the world should end
    from your lack of faith.

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    Untitled Entry


    Mood: The Usual

    Posted on 2013-01-29 00:12:03


       sleepy tonight. just grabbed a bunch of my old writings on here. it's been a long time since I wrote a poem. I should do it more often.

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    breaking point


    Mood: The Usual

    Posted on 2012-07-30 07:24:51


       On the first page of our story

    The future seemed so bright

    Then this thing turned out so evil

    Don't know why I'm still surprised



    Even Angels have their wicked schemes

    And you take that to new extremes

    But you'll always be my hero

    Even though you've lost your mind



    Just gonna stand there and watch me burn

    But that's alright because I like the way it hurts

    Just gonna stand there and hear me cry

    But that's alright because I love the way you lie

    I love the way you lie

    Ohhhh, I love the way you lie



    Now there's gravel in our voices

    Glass is shattered from the fight

    In this tug of war, you'll always win

    Even when I'm right



    Cause you feed me fables from your hand

    With violent words and empty threats

    And it's sick that all these battles

    Are what keeps me satisfied



    Just gonna stand there and watch me burn

    But that's alright because I like the way it hurts

    Just gonna stand there and hear me cry

    But that's alright because I love the way you lie

    I love the way you lie

    Ohhhh, I love the way you lie



    So maybe I'm a masochist

    I try to run, But I don't wanna ever leave

    Till' these walls are goin' up

    In smoke with all our memories



    Just gonna stand there and watch me burn

    But that's alright because I like the way it hurts

    Just gonna stand there and hear me cry

    But that's alright because I love the way you lie

    I love the way you lie

    Ohhhh, I love the way you lie

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    angry


    Mood: The Usual

    Posted on 2012-01-26 18:18:55


       Is the nature of man evil? Am I blind to believe that it isn't? Am I wrong to advocate that belief? To not change accordingly to it? Tell me someone!!!
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    Untitled Entry


    Mood: The Usual

    Posted on 2012-01-22 22:05:36


       Yes. I'm crazy.

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    Untitled Entry


    Mood: Brain Fried

    Posted on 2012-01-17 17:00:50


       sadness, anger, exhaustion, fear, anxiety, falling hopefulness,
    Depressed.

    Going out on a limb. what else can I do?
    I dare not reach out too far.
    I don't expect a care.
    I don't feel I deserve one.
    I just wish.... always wishing....


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