     
Jessica Bailey
22/f/mn
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Last Login: | 3165 d | |
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Journals: | 238 | |
Writings: | 57 | |
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 Growl
Mood: Rant
Posted on 2013-05-25 00:34:58
Confessions of an Angry Insomniac
A wicked world lies behind closed eyes,
where daydreams
are followed by violent death scenes.
I'm my executioner,
I always have been.
I'm good with a blade,
I'm my worst best friend.
"Sabotage anyone?"
I'm alone in the room.
But I serve it on a platter
While the bright full moon
laughs and taunts
to hell with that moon.
Darkness my friend,
Is always soon.
Too soon to leave
too soon to arrive.
Destruction and chaos of my mind,
At least they make me feel alive.
I hate to be awake,
I don't want to think!!
Fuck my responsibilities!
Fuck these feelings!!!
Fuck these desires,
And fuck memories.
They are overated anyway,
Fresh graves in old cemeteries.
I buried them deep,
Why the hell do they rise?
Oh I know,
Because I can't keep on lying.
So I talk to myself-
Who else do I have?
I say Jessica just stop it!
And then Jessica laughs.
"Sabotage anyone?"
Suddenly I'm starved.
Why not huh?
It's not like I'll get far
From the fucking echoes,
and old heartbreaks.
FUCK THEM ALL!!!!!
Why should I care
And what will that solve?
Really though?
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a string
Mood: Brain Fried
Posted on 2013-05-23 22:07:26
Too much coffee.
Not enough sleep.
A headache, a heartache,
a busy schedule to keep.
We all have our problems,
we all have our needs.
Some, they have flowers,
others, they grow weeds.
The earth keeps on spinning,
no matter how we feel.
In the end we all wonder,
does it matter what is real?
Dreaming strange dreams,
digging up the past.
Looking to the sky,
time passing by so fast.
Where are we going,
why do we stay silent?
Who knows of good and evil?
why it's important to be quiet?
We are all tired here on earth.
We all ask of death and life.
We all wonder the meaning
behind our meaningless strife.
what I really want to know
is why we hold ourselves back,
from things that make us happy,
why we play and act
and lie to ourselves
as if our lies come true....
but they won't and you know it,
what's in your way- is you.
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JOURNAL ENTRY
Mood: ERGA
Posted on 2013-05-23 17:54:04
DEAR JOURNAL,
MY REAL JOURNALS WERE STOLEN. THIS MAKES ME SAD AND PARANOID I AM GOING TO FORGET THINGS. DAMN IT. I AM GLAD THINGS ARE ALWAYS SAVED ONLINE, BUT MOSTLY POETRY, EMAILS, AND A FEW BLOGS ARE ALL THAT IS LEFT. I HOPE THERE IS MORE ON MY OTHER COMPUTER. IT'S LIKE A CHUNK OF ME WAS TAKEN. TOO MUCH COFFEE AND NOT ENOUGH ENTERTAINMENT KEEP ME IN MOURNING FOR MY MEMORIES, ALL BECAUSE THE CRACK-HEAD NEIGHBORS LEFT THE FRICKEN BASEMENT DOOR OPEN ALL NIGHT. SO DEPRESSING. I GUESS THE ORIGIN OF SUFFERING IS ATTACHMENT ANYWAY... BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT HAVE FLASHBACKS. RAWR. THIS MUST BE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE A NON-JOURNALIST. EXCEPT THIS IS A JOURNAL ENTRY. IRONIC. LOVELY.
FEELING STRANGE,
JESSICA B.
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strange dreams
Mood: Confused
Posted on 2013-05-05 10:48:54
whispers in my sleep,
in heated darkness,
demons creep.
They give me candy in my dreams,
Is it really as sweet as it seems.
Dreaming Jessica cannot help it,
temptation shall not be my forfeit.
Bitter comes and sweetness goes.
Remembering and feeling those ancient woes.
Hearing what I wanted to hear,
yet still it makes me shed a tear.
Now I go the rest of the day,
remembering and digging up ancient graves.
sewing back up ancient wounds,
recalling what it was to be the loser.
I thank the demons for their gift,
Candy and tears before I drift
off into vivid reality.
And wonder what the hell just happened to me....
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Destiny
Mood: The Usual
Posted on 2013-02-27 17:42:48
All the world is falling,
and I hear the wind just calling me,
pulling me to elsewhere,
so
I feel like I need to go there,
but I don't want to,
I just have to,
like there's nothing else I can do.
I don't have to make a decision,
it's more of a mission,
a prophetic vision,
a destiny in remission,
so I say to myself,
have patience,
this isn't a race,
or another daydream.
This isn't a hope or as strange
as it may seem.
We need to have purpose,
if we don't then life is worthless.
With so much beauty in nature,
too many details to be so sure,
that destiny's not real,
and it's irrational to feel,
otherwise-
either a fool or too wise.
no matter- it's important to disbelieve,
that one person cannot receive,
a duty beyond the stars
just in case,
the world should end
from your lack of faith.
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Untitled Entry
Mood: The Usual
Posted on 2013-01-29 00:12:03
sleepy tonight. just grabbed a bunch of my old writings on here. it's been a long time since I wrote a poem. I should do it more often.
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breaking point
Mood: The Usual
Posted on 2012-07-30 07:24:51
On the first page of our story
The future seemed so bright
Then this thing turned out so evil
Don't know why I'm still surprised
Even Angels have their wicked schemes
And you take that to new extremes
But you'll always be my hero
Even though you've lost your mind
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Ohhhh, I love the way you lie
Now there's gravel in our voices
Glass is shattered from the fight
In this tug of war, you'll always win
Even when I'm right
Cause you feed me fables from your hand
With violent words and empty threats
And it's sick that all these battles
Are what keeps me satisfied
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Ohhhh, I love the way you lie
So maybe I'm a masochist
I try to run, But I don't wanna ever leave
Till' these walls are goin' up
In smoke with all our memories
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Ohhhh, I love the way you lie
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angry
Mood: The Usual
Posted on 2012-01-26 18:18:55
Is the nature of man evil? Am I blind to believe that it isn't? Am I wrong to advocate that belief? To not change accordingly to it? Tell me someone!!!
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Untitled Entry
Mood: The Usual
Posted on 2012-01-22 22:05:36
Yes. I'm crazy.
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Untitled Entry
Mood: Brain Fried
Posted on 2012-01-17 17:00:50
sadness, anger, exhaustion, fear, anxiety, falling hopefulness,
Depressed.
Going out on a limb. what else can I do?
I dare not reach out too far.
I don't expect a care.
I don't feel I deserve one.
I just wish.... always wishing....
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