Kalidoscopeeyes


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Danielle Miller
18/f


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  • Art Copyright Jimmy Ruska




    It's zero hour.


    Mood: exhausted and sick

    Posted on 2006-05-18 11:00:46


       Just a few hours until Symposium. Where the hell has the year gone? It certainly wasn't spent here, much to my disappointment. This summer I will have regain some momentum, I swear.

    With that, it's back to the non-virtual world.

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    Untitled Entry


    Mood: Tired

    Posted on 2005-06-16 20:01:20


       

    So much lab, writing pending.




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    Untitled Entry


    Mood: Confused

    Posted on 2005-03-13 13:11:55


       
    "I am selfish without you.
    I'm over and you're always new.
    I'll never let you down from your tower
    Or take away your crown."

    [furrowed brow]

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    Untitled Entry


    Mood: Sigh...

    Posted on 2005-01-26 11:31:58


       
    SUPER STAR, BUT HE DIDN'T GET FAR

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    Untitled Entry


    Mood: Dead

    Posted on 2005-01-15 22:38:21


       
    sitting at the computer, letting the bright screen lull me into a daze, i can hear him trying to get the key into the lock. 11:17 PM and i know he's standing there, swaying on the other side of the door, concentrating on the (not so) tiny knob. clickclack, he misses again. the dog knows who it is. he sits, wagging his tail, waiting for his master whom he so (naively) admires. another try, he missed again. a minute or two has gone by and i'm paralyzed. watching the door and listening.

    it took awhile, but he did it. the door swins open and there he stands. not sure of himself. of his balance. sway some more. i refuse to help him. finally he thinks he's safe and steps inside. swaggers his way to the kitchen. i'm tearing up (damn tears, this shouldn't be happening). he's opening the refrigerator and crisply opens the can. barely standing, hasn't said a word to me until this point, "youknowyoucouldhavehelpedmewiththedoor" it's all one word, he's so...not here. but i don't respond. (i'm used to it by now, don't worry)

    not even three minutes later. sitting asleep, a lit cigarette in his hand. i refuse to take it out. let it burn him. i want him to burn. burn like you've burned me, daddy.

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    ...sorry...


    Mood: Crazy

    Posted on 2005-01-10 17:14:56


       

    Today I told a kid to go drill his r's back in the islands...

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    smiling thru it


    Mood: Juggling Tasks

    Posted on 2005-01-08 17:26:53


       
    xBlame Your Godx: i can't talk right now, i'm having one of thsoe long awful discussions
    xBlame Your Godx: but i love you and i miss you


    Sometimes, that's all you need. A quick "i love you and i miss you" in passing can really bring a smile to my face. haven't talked in months, but she thought to say that. :)


    *gah* but can't dwell on little things. two ginormous papers due this week in school and neither have been started. sometimes i really do hate psychology.

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    Untitled Entry


    Mood: Frustrated

    Posted on 2004-12-27 19:11:50


       


    I want a Southern boy that hasn't let a big city kill all of his innocent dreams...

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    Untitled Entry


    Mood: Yeay!!

    Posted on 2004-12-16 18:12:10


       
    And do you want to know what he did yesterday? He had a popsicle and a bowl of ice cream. You don't know how happy that made me because it means he's trying. HE.IS.TRYING.

    I'm just afraid that he's only letting my hopes get too high and any day now he'll rip them out of me.

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    Untitled Entry


    Mood: Thinking...

    Posted on 2004-12-11 22:51:31


       
    It must have been cold there in my shadow,
    to never have sunlight on your face.
    You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
    You always walked a step behind.

    So I was the one with all the glory,
    while you were the one with all the strain.
    A beautiful face without a name for so long.
    A beautiful smile to hide the pain.



    I think if I'm ever to become something, it'll be the wind beneath someone's wings. I won't be something spectacular. My name won't be lit up in lights anywhere. My name won't be at the beginning of any breakthrough research journal. I'll be the one in the shadows, clapping along with all of the other admirers. And sometimes I wonder if I'll be smiling or crying.

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