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Maria ***
21/f/Right Here

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  • Art Copyright Jimmy Ruska


    Mood: The Usual

    Posted on 2006-08-27 20:21:26

       Its very odd but I am more homesick this year, my third and most likely last year of college, than I was at the beginning of any other year... how strange...

    Life Edit

    Mood: Thinking...

    Posted on 2006-08-12 20:11:14

       Time for a life edit i think...

    Write, write

    Mood: The Usual

    Posted on 2006-07-14 22:27:55

       I want to write, but I can't... writing comes with its fair share of pain and discomfort.


    Mood: Misc

    Posted on 2006-03-22 23:47:59

       My other half... what will i do without my best friend... we've been friends forever and now they want to take away the sister i found while wandering through the world... this is what English professors talk about all the time... when the narrative starts to break down and you can see the narrator cracking and falling apart in the very language... well here you go... break.

    Coming Down...

    Mood: Thinking...

    Posted on 2006-03-20 14:24:57

       It is what it is and while it is I'll just be...


    Mood: Depressed

    Posted on 2006-03-10 17:09:57

       All the strength in me is gone... i have nothing left inside... i can barely hold my head up anymore... this is a bad time...


    Mood: Thinking...

    Posted on 2005-10-09 23:19:19

       "Come to me sweetly, come to me..."
    The vampire's bite
    has sucked this poet's soul dry.
    The rage has simmered to a quiet roar.
    What was once euphoria
    is just happy now.
    The pen lies impotent
    against the provocative blank page.
    The heart's pace does not quicken anymore
    at the turn of a clever metaphor.
    And the one once called a writer
    in the obscure literary past
    is (insert clever phrase to express the concept


    Untitled Entry

    Mood: The Usual

    Posted on 2005-09-09 14:21:04

       If tomorrow were to come
    And I would be no more
    I hope that my breath would stay on your lips
    Even for a moment or two...


    love letter

    Mood: Sigh...

    Posted on 2005-07-12 21:51:06

       Dear Boy,

    I would have shopped you out of my system
    If a Gucci Horsebit Hobo could clean my memory slate.
    I would have readily replaced you with anyone
    If that anyone had limped in before you on wednesday morning.
    All my tears shed in the name of you are really wails for a girl that never could look in a mirror when she tried or wanted to look her reflection in the eye.
    The face that could never face itself is slowly but surely turning as my screams of "Be a man!" echo in my ears.
    I think what I'm really trying to say is that I don't know what I'm going to do without you.
    (But I'm not scared at all because I'll know soon enough.)
    There's something I never got to tell you, so I will write it here instead, in hopes that my good will will travel from me to you in the best way the universe sees fit. (Perhaps a lover will whisper them in your ears one day or maybe you'll find a piece of paper with these words scribbled on them on a subway platform.)
    My darling, you are singularly special in every way. You unwittingly opened the eyes of one who could not see and unknowingly eased a restless soul for a few simple moments. Your warmth precedes you.
    Maybe one day we'll run into each other in a doorway. You'll say hello and I'll nod and smile politely. A bittersweet happiness will course through me as I leaf through images of you etched into my memory reel. I will continue to smile as I walk away from you, knowing that a piece of you belongs to me forever (in truth, I may belong to you but you're not keeping score.)
    I'll miss you terribly and I wish you nothing but absolute happiness. Take care, won't you.

    Bye Bye Beautiful


    I hate money

    Mood: Depressed

    Posted on 2005-07-01 18:35:07

       I just got my aid package from school for my sophomore year. It isn't pretty at all. I don't have the money to pay for my education... money sucks....