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tricia *****

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  • Art Copyright Jimmy Ruska

    Untitled Entry

    Mood: clear

    Posted on 2007-05-05 17:04:31

       its all good


    Mood: Too much at once...

    Posted on 2006-08-29 16:49:55

       so many changes...who knew I'd be here, doing what I'm doing. So much has changed in 5 months hey thats life right.


    Mood: Too much at once...

    Posted on 2006-08-29 16:48:44

       so many changes...who knew I'd be here, doing what I'm doing. So much has changed in 5 months hey thats life right.

    Untitled Entry

    Mood: Straightening things out...

    Posted on 2006-03-08 18:03:38

       I look for you
    -doesn't mean I can face you.


    Untitled Entry

    Mood: Dead

    Posted on 2006-02-01 20:06:47

       If you don't wanna be seen
    then why are you here?
    disappear disappear.


    Hold on

    Mood: Sad

    Posted on 2006-01-03 14:57:14

       I am at work, it's a really slow day. I've been really upset with cerain things that have been happening lately. I think I hate you lately, yeah I really do, I get mad at this situation. I am so really bitter toward this now. I made myself sick remembering things from the past, somethings have just been etched into my head and I can't forget them, and I want to so much but ios so hard to pretend like nothing hurt me. Because it did, and how could I forgive you after all this. I pray that I could forgive you one time or another. Maybe I don't know, I keep getting encouragment to hold on, but I don't know what I want to do. Hold on... I'll hold on just promise you won't put me through this again. No more, please no more.

    save me

    Mood: Lonely

    Posted on 2005-11-08 20:49:45

       I got a candle
    And I’ve got a spoon
    I live in a hallway with no doors
    And no rooms

    Under a windowsill
    They all were found
    A touch of concrete within the doorway
    Without a sound

    Someone save me if you will
    And take away all these pills
    And please just save me if you can
    From the blasphemy in my wasteland

    How did I get here
    And what went wrong
    Couldn’t handle forgiveness
    Now I’m far beyond gone

    I can hardly remember
    The look of my own eyes
    How can I love this a life so dishonest
    It made me compromise



    your string

    Mood: Angry

    Posted on 2005-10-17 18:35:48

       You've got my by a string
    between me and you and our
    quiet thing
    you pull me along
    some times gently
    but mostly violent tugs
    I'm tied to you now
    and you're tied to me too
    ...kept pulling me along
    till I fell for you

    Take care if this string should break
    a run for it I would make!


    A bag of diamonds.

    Mood: The Usual

    Posted on 2005-07-13 07:42:56

       Seeing that my dearest friend decided to make peace with this epic that I have been living for almost 4 years now(4 years in august)Its about time I make my own peace.

    I spent the most part of my grown up life dealing with this, and I wanted to end it on good note, rather than my bitterness.

    Hey you,
    Its not like that it was all bad because there were good times. You have always had bad timing, you know...finally getting enough courage to talk to me the day I LOST MY VOICE. Trying to get my attention by stepping on my foot, repeatedly. The cute but completely over my head birthday text message(which I wouldn't have caught on to if M hadn't told me). Then came the awkward conversations, so awkward they weren't even conversations. You stuttering, me STILL confused. There was always that open-window-door thing which still makes me laugh. And maybe the last odd moment, with the water bottle.
    Everything started with a snickers bar and had ended with me drowning in Maggie Moo's chocolate chip cookie dough pieces in Better Batter ice cream. But now I'm fine, there is no vindictiveness, I let it go. Maybe I will forget and this would turn into some odd absurd dream, I just hope that I meant to you what you meant to me. -And it would be nice if you didn't get over me too quickly...KIDDING. But, thats okay I wish you the best and hopefully one day you'll actually step it up with someone.

    P.S. I kept the cap. It was the nicest thing you didn't say to me.


    A new start

    Mood: Relaxing

    Posted on 2005-06-14 09:41:28

       Okay so I screwd up my freshman year of college. I didn't get to enjoy it and I learned many hard lessons. But I'm finally forgive myself for that. This summer is going to be good. I got a good job, writing. Yeah it sounds interesting but I spend 8-10 hours a day writing up remedial action reports. Not very fun but its the best I can do.
    I finally decided on a major, Philosophy. I'm really looking forward to that. I'm looking into some minors, there is this cool writer's in residence program at my school. Basically I spent most of my time taking seminars given by writers from Harper's magazine and The New Yorker, playwrights, and novelists. The program is really cool it also gives me a chance to get published.
    I plan to really enjoy the rest of my time in school and I'm looking forward to this summer and a new year.
    But until then there is vacation, meaning the beach, and sometime to really relax, and that I look forward to the most.