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saamiah ansari

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  • Art Copyright Jimmy Ruska


    Mood: Lazy

    Posted on 2015-06-28 11:53:20

       I have to write an college entrance essay for a madrassah. Anyone else see the irony. What I have now is pretty negative and dark. Need more positivity. I am not an internally happy person and that is dangerous matters.

    The Lie

    Mood: stupidity

    Posted on 2013-11-09 19:26:53

       Doing nothing productive because I don't believe in myself anymore. It's becoming too familiar, that I won't even try anymore. People only see wastage, which is true. A plan, I can barely get out of bed every day.

    Untitled Entry

    Mood: The Usual

    Posted on 2012-12-01 14:46:19

       this really is going nowhere. i need a new approach.

    Untitled Entry

    Mood: Depressed

    Posted on 2012-10-29 15:40:40

       I'm tired, of waking up remembering, of lying to ppl here, of not being good enough for others, of no one helping me bcuz it would send the wrong message, I feel like I should have left a dead body there instead of coming back alive. Yes everyday I look at myself and see failure. then i go here how im not yawning, sitting, eating correctly. im tired of living this facade that i graduated and am happy. i want to do something about it but i don't have support on any side. i watch tv and such so i dont have to think about my pain, i have failed my teachers,friends and family ant then every one just said forget. sure thats healthy.

    Untitled Entry

    Mood: The Usual

    Posted on 2012-09-20 11:51:59

       shutup and behave


    Mood: Sad

    Posted on 2012-08-18 02:12:44

       its been only a week and it feels like years, i loved you having never known you & i miss you having never spent time with you


    Mood: kaboom!

    Posted on 2011-10-27 02:14:52

       tired of pretending just because its not appropriate. it angers me that im angry.

    fed up

    Mood: hmmmmm

    Posted on 2011-03-29 06:01:33

       I can change, I am in control of what I do. It is not environment,resource or lack there of, that can instill the discipline I need. I have realized time and again what should be doing. I need to be true to my commitment and take the steps necessary to follow through. My Lord please give me strength.

    Untitled Entry

    Mood: beepbloop

    Posted on 2011-02-03 19:24:14

       With each dream I feel that the message being conveyed is trying to comfort me so I don't take it so bad when everything falls apart. I guess I just don't have enough faith in myself to believe it could come true. With each phone call, I just want to get it over with, NOW!

    Untitled Entry

    Mood: The Usual

    Posted on 2011-01-01 21:58:19

       I give myself until summer break.