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in a two way monologue

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  • Art Copyright Jimmy Ruska

    Untitled Entry

    Mood: The Usual

    Posted on 2010-07-22 11:48:53

       we always come back.

    I'm still alive.



    Mood: The Usual

    Posted on 2009-03-15 08:58:36

       It took me about 15 minutes to remember my username, and then another 10 to remember my password.

    I've missed this place.



    Mood: The Usual

    Posted on 2007-10-03 07:06:35

       All India will ever be, fits in the palm of your hand

    I should have been there that night you lay
    buried in sheets
    wondering how something so small
    could bring a grown man to his knees.

    But these things,
    the tiniest mouth, nose, hands,
    are anything but small
    not when they were never given the chance to grow

    not when they make you want
    to burst into the sky
    burn feet, rubber,
    whatever will move faster on tarmac
    to get away

    outrun the moment that closes in
    when she took her first breath

    or each hour that followed,
    where you wish you had taken pause
    more often.

    You force one too many painkillers
    down your throat
    to dull the senses
    because addiction is better

    anything is better

    than this hurt that you cannot grasp,
    that has you doubled up,
    and this is the only way you know
    how to make it stop.

    Until you see her, carved in gold on yellow pencils
    on maps, in newspapers
    wishing her name had not been
    so uncommon
    and yet


    until you hear a cry, similar in pitch, or desperation

    or until, for no apparent reason,
    the sky is overcast,
    and you know, the sea surrounding the rock on which she lies,
    becomes angry, crashing ineffectually against stone
    the water exploding into a thousand pieces

    and the island stands

    to these injustices

    to this,





    Mood: The Usual

    Posted on 2007-02-24 08:39:04

       i have a new blog. i don't pay it much attention... leave it home alone for days on end. but sometimes I remember that it's there waiting for me and an entry materialises out of nowhere. comments on the other hand, don't..

    what does it take to get people to read your blog? even if it's 'mediochre'



    Mood: disappointed

    Posted on 2006-10-03 19:07:05

       I am currently an unemployed bum.

    I have all the time on my hands to write.

    And I'm completely uninspired.

    I thought about writing about my 3 year old nephew's prayer to God to help him find the way to Disney World.. or about this guy who's selling his love on ebay (so far he's reached $86).. or about how I shouldn't have been so sensible and gone to Amsterdam after all even if I couldn't really afford it.

    And yet for some reason I don't want to write any of it down.



    Mood: The Usual

    Posted on 2006-08-17 09:17:46



    Mood: The Usual

    Posted on 2006-08-12 12:13:42

       This lack of inspiration has me revisiting old projects. I'm venturing into visual poetry once again. It would help if I knew how the heck to put a photo in my journal. But I don't. So this annoying link will have to do:


    Anna's Poem

    Mood: The Usual

    Posted on 2006-05-11 13:18:28

       (temporary title for a temporary poem)

    two rosaries hang
    from the alabaster statue
    of the virgin
    next to Anna's bed

    the rosaries, they sway
    when the virgin
    wants you to know
    she is there

    there is no breeze

    Anna sits on her bed
    drinking gin

    she gets up
    places the vase of red flowers
    from a lover
    in front of the statue
    and goes back
    to her side of the bed



    Mood: Tired

    Posted on 2006-04-07 20:57:52

       "Before the series of predictable chords
    completes a phrase
    the songs tone moves her to sadness

    she stiffens
    feeling manipulated and resentful

    she imagines his hand
    sliding over her shoulder
    beneath her hair
    the back of his fingers
    soft against her neck

    she closes her eyes
    sees that smile
    and hears his voice

    calling her cynical"

    paul madonna



    Mood: Too much at once...

    Posted on 2006-02-14 14:30:33

       We went from an epidemic of crazed nationalism to the daily grind in the space of one night.

    Egypt won the African Cup and we celebrated with tablas and flags and dancing on tables at the Jazz Club of all places.

    And the next day, we sobered up to the fact that it's mid February and we have to do a month's work in the space of 3 or 4 days.

    I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

    And yet I've never been happier.