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Dieing Star
18 female fantasy&reality

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  • Art Copyright Jimmy Ruska


    Mood: Dead

    Posted on 2006-05-30 11:16:24

       heh..morning. Good Morning people!!! ...heh yeah right just have a good morning. Everyones still asleep so for the time being im happy. If you saw me right now however you'd swear i was about to get revenge because someone ran over my dog. heh..I Just cant wait till Wed. My own reasons. *sigh* I love this house I live in. However sometimes i feel like a dead corpse in it. I get up and go outside, in case your thinking that i dont. Its just something about this house. Or maybe its the people in it? The people that want to make me scream so bad till my head explodes, but i cant scream. I cant scream because in this house i feel dead. Not a vampire or zombie dead. Just litterly and completly DEAD. The truly dead cant talk or move for that matter. heh but im not dead...To stubborn to be dead just yet.


    Mood: Head Aching

    Posted on 2006-05-26 21:49:25

       I went to the zoo. Heh..havnt been in years, so long i dont even remember. My next door naighboor was kind enough to invite me this morning. I had a great time and all but there was something wrong. Course going to the zoo there always is and will be. I love seeing my favorit animals up close, or as close as I can get anyways. Although I didnt get to see any wolves or foxes I did however get to see the Tigers (among other beautiful animals and reptiles) or one Tiger. Sibarian. Damn was he a beautiful sight to see. Oh wow talk about breath takeing. He had an enormouse head with very nice strips. His fur was i imagine soft, he stood out and was laying down at the time of my arrivle. He was alone..all by himself. Those sharp fangs and teeth when he yawned. When he stood to leave and even when he was laying down you could see his strength. Those muscles when he walked moved perfactly with his giant paws softly touching the ground. When he rose he turned and left. I was sadden to see him go but to be truthfull I couldnt blame him one bit. People were all around watching him. Some silently admireing his beauty and strength like myself..others claped and made noises in atemp to get his attintion. People around were the least of my troubled toughts. I thought about that cage he was in. True it was large and filled with green grass and plants. An attempt to make it look like home one would assume. However its not home. Not even close. Home as no limits. No gates, home is where he can chase down his pray. Sinking his teeth into some wild meat that he can say he killed. Home is freedom, a place with no boundries no people to make weird noises that he as to get use to at somepoint. I know zoo's take care of their animals or so they say and try to prove. But its not the same and never will be. You cant tell me they dont know the diffrent. Just like you cant look in ones eyes and see the pain of being in a cage. Maybe the Tiger is happy there...heh yeah right. I saw the tiredness in his yawn just like I saw the saddness in his eyes. Maybe its not that bad..ill give zoo'z credit for that. They do seem to try. It will never be the same though. Never even be close. I said before the place he was in was large. Perhaps large enough for him to run if he wanted but not large enough for him to excel to his maximum strength and run like hell just for the fun of it. No insted he was an amusment for our infuriating race we call humans. A good friend once told me, They were free once and happy even content with mankind..once a time we all did get along and lived together but this was before mankind also came and decided to take over and add four walls of concret and construction surrounding all.