Just Keep Quiet And Nobody Will Notice Analysis

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There is one thing that ought to be taught in all the colleges,<br>

Which is that people ought to be taught not to go around always making apologies.<br>

I don't mean the kind of apologies people make when they run over you or borrow five

dollars or step on your feet,<br>

Because I think that is sort of sweet;<br>

No, I object to one kind of apology alone,<br>

Which is when people spend their time and yours apologizing for everything they own.<br>

You go to their house for a meal,<br>

And they apologize because the anchovies aren't caviar or the partridge is veal;<br>

They apologize privately for the crudeness of the other guests,<br>

And they apologzie publicly for their wife's housekeeping or their husband's jests;<br>

If they give you a book by Dickens they apologize because it isn't by Scott,<br>

And if they take you to the teahter, the apologize for the acting and the dialogue and the

plot;<br>

They contain more milk of human kindness than the most capacious diary can,<br>

But if you are from out of town they apologize for everything local and if you are a

foreigner they apologize for everything American.<br>

I dread these apologizers even as I am depicting them,<br>

I shudder as I think of the hours that must be spend in contradicting them,<br>

Because you are very rude if you let them emerge from an argument victorious,<br>

And when they say something of theirs is awful, it is your duty to convince them politely

that it is magnificent and glorious,<br>

And what particularly bores

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