http://www.eliteskills.com/u/jinx The writings and poetry of jinx. en-us Mon, 23 Nov 2009 09:55:09 -0600 Mon, 23 Nov 2009 09:55:09 -0600 Elite Generator http://www.eliteskills.com/z/75792 I already posted this once, but I only got one comment, and I was hoping for a few more. Sorry, I'm sure its irrirtating when people do this. I wrote this about Connor Oberst of Bright Eyes. I was listening to 'The Calendar Hing Itself' [Which is a brilliant song, by the way] and something made me get up and write this. I just love how 'real' Connor is. Any comments would be appreciated, particularly non-compliments. I know that it still needs a lot of work, but I'm not sure what exactly I should work on. PS- "Beauty is Truth/Truth-- Beauty" is a John Keats quote that appears in the poem "Ode on a Grecian Urn". http://www.eliteskills.com/z/148281 Alright, so I hate to admit this, but I will: This poem started as a rather serious "I'm in love [or lust] with my boss" poem, and I actually meant it. But when I read it over a few days later, I realised it was really 1) egotistical and 2) creepy. So I figured that the best way to get the feelings out of my system was to push it just a little farther and make it, essentialy, a joke. Or at least intentionally obnoxious. In all honesty, I'd still like to screw him ... but I'm much happier with the poem now. :D Oh and sorry for all the crude language. Come to think of it, I don't even know if it'll get censored or not. And one more thing; any title suggestions would be much appreciated, considering I can't think up anything decent. http://www.eliteskills.com/z/47119 i really don't like lines 6-8, and i'm hoping that someone can help me out with this. in my opinion it sounds really cheesy, and it sound like it's alluding to some piece of ancient literature, and it's not. if anyone has comments on the rest of the poem though, i'd love to hear them. http://www.eliteskills.com/z/50406 eurgh. you can all guess by the end of this poem that it sure ain't about no kitty-cat. the purpose of this poem is A) well, duh. B) to be an improvement on a HORRIBLE poem i read called 'psycho cat' (upon which this is loosely based). i know it needs a lot of work, but i havent posted in forever and this poem needs as much feedback as it can get. -Jinx http://www.eliteskills.com/z/47122 I'm frighteningly in crush(and in pain) at the moment, so this poem probably sucks and i can't tell. it would be awsome if someone could give me a little feedback so i can bring this up to read-out-loud-able quality. any and all feedback is appreciated. http://www.eliteskills.com/z/47256 I wrote this when i was an this school trip and we couldnt have music. i dont really know waht else to say.... you might notice a few similarities with one of my other poems, but that was not intentional. i only just noticed it myself. (oops) i don't really know what i want to hear about this, but all i ask is that you be brutal: i'm considering reading this in class tomorrow. http://www.eliteskills.com/z/54637 Hmm. this is a falsified beginning and ending of an actual event. it would amuse me if anyone could guess which part is true. (this would exclude anyone who knows me). i'd like general comments... whatever comes to mind, whatever suggestions you can make. anything. thanks. http://www.eliteskills.com/z/51003 simply notcing can save a life, so open your eyes and be a freaking hero. http://www.eliteskills.com/z/53759 after looking this over i've realised it doesnt have any major spelling or grammatical errors, so what i'd really like is if people could point out what they like and don't like.... I'm hoping to get this published in my school annual, and they only accept the really good stuff. -- i've decided to leave in the first 'for now', as the line shows up later in the poem and i think it adds something... plus i almost want it to sound teenage-angsty and melodramatic. any thoughts on this would be much appreciated.