| User | ashlee_jane2003 | | Topic | Rambling on and on.. | | Message | I need to feel you
breathing...touching...loving...
i need to tell you
how bad this feels
i need to touch you
your lips, your hands, your...
i remember coffee in the morning
i dream about the beauty that once was
i fear
what used to happen
i’m dying to know
your thoughts, dreams, why?
did you really mean it?
These are just random thoughts that pop into my head when i think about him. Tell me if they make good poetry or not! |
|| Replies ||
| User | | 2005-02-14 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | Coffee isn’t original anymore.
It’s just a framework for a poem. No details. |
| User | joeyalphabet | 2005-02-11 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | some of the lines are trite (i need to feel/touch you), some other very orginal (i remember coffee in the morning). there’s potential with this, but stay away from the pat expressions i see too much of here. |
| User | wildheart | 2005-01-05 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | people discuss in the forum and bs . its like yahoo lol . only you have some who really want to discuss the topics and some that want to chat. |
| User | ashlee_jane2003 | 2004-11-23 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | I did do that but people only read poetry as it comes on the post and not anytime after so I figured this way all people would read it and not those who just happened to see iton the post. |
| User | Kristina9178 | 2004-11-20 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | You should post this in your journal, rather than in the forum, or post this in the actual posts under the heading "random thoughts" You’ll probably get better feedback there. People come to the forum to discuss...they go to the posts to critique.
Keep spittin! |
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