| User | joeyalphabet | | Topic | Book excerpt | | Message | This is an excerpt from my novel-in-progress, "Darkness Persists". It’s a vampire story about a woman turned against her will and who rebels against her sire. She doesn’t want to kill, but she’s continually put into circumstances where she has to or people she knows die. The protagonist is Kristen Lightner, her antagonist is Remy St. Andre, a 300 year old vampire master. The other character is Jessy, Kristen’s best friend who has been vamped by Remy in revenge for her rebellion. At this point in the story, Kristen wants to kill him.
Let me know what you think:
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“Hello, Remy.”
I stood before my former master trying not to let any nervousness show. Remy would sense it immediately. Anne and I discussed it, and agreed the best chance I had was to convince Remy he could once again trust me as a faithful disciple. It was a strategy loaded with risk, but these days risk didn’t bother me a hell of a lot.
He circled me as I kept my eyes forward. “Well, well. My wayward disciple has returned. And what brought this about?”
“You know why I’m back,” I icily responded, betraying none of my tension. “Jessy was right. I couldn’t exist my way. I killed again and I enjoyed it.” My head bowed to the floor. “I’ve accepted what I am. I’ve accepted that I belong to you.”
“Really? No more conscience? No more regrets?”
I couldn’t hide that from him. “Yes, I still feel regret. But I’ll get over it.”
“Indeed you will,” Remy responded with a fanged grin. “You will have to prove your allegiance, Kristen.”
“I know—sire.”
Remy laughed callously. He moved to stand in front of me, his face mere inches from mine. Suddenly he reared back and slapped me—hard. “You lying little bitch! I know better than to believe you. Do you think you, a mere babe have the capacity to fool me, a vampire for three centuries?”
I knew better than to reach my hand to my cheek, but I couldn’t help it. I began to cry. The drops of blood fell to the floor as Remy snorted derisively and seized my arm, twisting it. I cried out as he forced me to my knees. “Please! I can’t live like this! If you won’t help me, then just kill me and get it over with!”
He released my arm and I fell before him, tears running down my pale face.
He traced a path around me. I risked looking up. His eyes blazed crimson with anger and derision.
“Sire. Please.” Jessy quietly spoke and I looked around to see her kneeling in the entrance, her eyes brimming crimson. “Please don’t kill her. I beg you. She’s just—confused.”
“Well, well. Your friend entreats me your behalf. Get up.”
With difficulty I stood, cradling my arm.
“I will give her an opportunity to again earn my trust,” Remy announced as he faced Jessy. “But not because of your plea. Only because it amuses me.” He turned back to me. “Rest assured, however, that if I doubt you for even one moment, you will die—painfully and slowly. Follow me. Your testing will begin right now.”
I gulped. I hadn’t been prepared for this to start immediately. Remy led me outside and rose into the air. He hovered above me and said, “Come.”
I closed my eyes, concentrated and felt myself rise. We flew, high above the buildings, above life, death—above everything. For the first time since my transformation, I experienced true joy. I almost forgot everything else and just enjoyed the wind through my hair. Remy brought me back to the present—he seemed to be searching for something. He began to descend and I reluctantly followed, my all too brief measure of freedom over.
We landed on a rooftop and jumped the four stories with ease to land in an alley below without a sound. Remy pointed to the entrance and I followed his finger to see a young woman standing there. He gave me a grin, fangs glistening in the streetlights, and whispered, “Feed.”
I knew I had no choice. “Yes, sire,” I whispered.
I approached the woman in full vamp mode, stealthily creeping up behind as she stood totally unaware of the fact her life was about to end.
For a moment, I thought about saying something to her, but Remy would hear even a whisper. I sensed her pulse. Sensed her essence. Allowed the bloodlust—my bloodlust—to take full control. I reached out and grabbed her, covering her mouth and pulling her back into the alley, twisting her head to the side and biting her neck as the thirst raged. Her blood tasted so good. Her thrashing diminished and stopped, and I let her fall to the cold concrete.
He smiled. “A good beginning. But it will take more than one feeing to convince me.”
I turned to Remy and glared at him as I wiped her blood from my face. The bloodlust was gone, or at least satisfied for now. It took every ounce of self-control not to break down right then. I attempted to exert some measure of control over my shaking, forced a fanged smile and replied, “You don’t have anything to worry about, sire. I’ll be as loyal as anyone in your harem.”
“Good. Let’s go.”
We flew back to the mansion, but the joy I felt earlier was gone, replaced by grief. Proving my loyalty had already cost a life.
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|| Replies ||
| User | besodemuerte | 2005-01-10 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | i agree... people shouldnt be posting their peoms or stories around the forum.. that’s why you have a whole page here... |
| User | magnicat | 2005-01-09 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | i think you need to post this on your user page, not in the forum... |
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