| User | Aknahlij_d 1 | | Topic | EPiphany | | Message | this is my solemn and honest to God attempt to write out everything that bothers me. please give me some indication that you understand, if not let me know, because someday,you will HEAR it :
i had my epiphany, there wasn’t any helpin it
all i am is depressed but you interpret this as selffishness
i gotta humble myself and relearn the basics
my reputation preceeds me so i gotta run to erase it
i embrace when the face of the world changes
and be damned if all lands didn’t speak the same language
travel in packages to offset the jetlag
i wish it cost so i couldn’t afford to get mad
people just can’t seem to embrace my great wealth of mind
my innate ability to move space and time
with nothing but an active imagination and blue lines
on this tablet page, days are spent blazing
roads and highways tryin to run from my mistakes
you’d think it all was cake but it bakes unevenly
and shakes the trees at their roots meaningfully
in every way, i trickle liquid and choose to live insipidly
by the enamel on my tooth i speak my truths vividly
i can’t expect you to love who i am
i can only hope you cope with me and become one in my fam
i wish the ones i loved had given me the least respect
and if they don’t, i’m striking out and use the page as my weapon
the sage in the garden, remembers my face from start
he’ll be present when i finish all industry with art
once again, i can’t expect you to listen to me
i only want you to see that this time is my EPIPHANY!!!
when the world make the choice to quiet my voice
it had no clue how i’d grow to make such untamed noise
blew off the map like a plastic bag in the wind
nobody would give me props even if i managed to win
i’m just sayin the same slang that kept me here
i been thrust in the gut by those i once held dear
i’m late for the appointment, i’m going thought atonement
not the make you happy but make you opponents
i’m glad i had this sad little epiphany, it gave me insight to see in
your schemes you run behing me to whittle away my esteem
you formed teams like this sad little dream
where my sad lil love anthem finally had a theme
i saw her die,i swear i woke up crying
its been damn near four years, i’m sayin sayonara to trying
but i’ll keep an open mind, i’m not blockin y’all out
i’m just tellin you to expect some shit come from my mouth
keeping it back is for scaredy cats,
i’m gonna let the words fly
gotta get em all out before this courage dies
i’m gonna bring the past back into the crass eyes
you take and aim at me and use to chastise
i can’t get tired of loosing admirers
that would rather stab in my back themselves that to find a guy to hire
i’m on a thin wire about to drop into the abyss
with a bullet for all of y’all and one diss i can’t miss |
|| Replies ||
| User | solemnpen | 2005-07-21 | | | Subject | i feel you | | Message | i dunno bra, its seems like you love doing what you do, but at times you wish you didnt because there is so much shit that surronds it. nobody has the right to trash what you write because that shit takes talent and nobody can take that away from you. i understand because you at times, get so worried about your reputation and it brings the beast outta you. nobody can blame you for that either, because you are aggressive and you are a competitive person. but you cant take that shit to head, although i dont think you are trying to, i think you just checking yourself to make sure you stay level headed and never stoop down to the level of some of these clowns that hate you. keep it up akna, you aint doing a damn thing wrong |
| User | Aknahlij_d 1 | 2005-07-19 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | read the latest insert in my diary of blood and ink. |
| User | Brack-Attax | 2005-06-21 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | I’ll just say one thing. THIS IS GOOD FOR YOU. |
| User | Aknahlij_d 1 | 2005-06-21 | | | Subject | another "vent" | | Message | This is bigger than you and me, Mama
This is the first step to maturity, Mama
Gimme my shoe, I’ll make you so damn proud
Pull, make a loop, pull; I’m a big kid now
I tied my own shoes without you
I can do this on my own
I need you no more, Mama
I’m just too grown, Mama
I’m in the zone, Mama
Gimme some keys
I’m gonna take dad’s car and drive it right down the street, Mama
You feel this heat, Dave
I’m gonna build the A/C
I can do it better than them
Are you still paying attention, Dave
I wrote a poem for how much I hate you, Dave
I like writing poems
You don’t care, but I’m gonna tell you ’till you do, Dave
Yo, Drew, I got a band
Wanna hear a song, Drew
I know, I’m stupid
I shoulda never put that pressure on you
To choose to listen or ignore
I’m such a stupid whore
I’m such a bad friend, Drew
I’ll keep talking, too
’Cause I crave your validation
I desire a few messages
"I didn’t know you were on vacation"
I only told you twice
I only wanted you to like me
Maybe I should calm down and take this lightly
Y’all are my crew, Drew, Dave, Beau. and JT
I write these pieces about you that I know you’ll never read
That’s cool
I guess I’m still the odd man out
The smart one who never got far in this School
Failed the bar got the stool
Sham of a life to look good for you
I never asked for anything but your approval
Now I’m just waiting for an unceremonious removal
These girls hate me, my boys are indifferent
"Stop actin like that." well please stop grinning to my face
When you see me standing in front of you proclaiming my bad day
So you can ask "Hey, it’ll be all good"
I feel shit unable to see but y’all should
In a small hood, I droop in the silence of electricity
This computer is my metamorphosis,
The words the EPIPHANY
|
| User | Aknahlij_d 1 | 2005-06-08 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | thanks Brack. you really can put shit inot perspective, because i know through our battles and just now that you’ve had it a lot worse than me. i knida don’t have the rite to spit about how i’m in a depression and nobody else is. i get you though. i think writin it outside of eliteskills’ll be better for the development. i’ll post it when i’m doen because after i do, there’ll be nothin else i can say.thanks again homes~P.J. |
| User | Brack-Attax | 2005-06-08 | | | Subject | they come and go. | | Message | Ok homie, you will have your epiphany many more times.
it is going to change everytime to. It has happened to me also.
when I was on drugs, and when I was not. very different.
my depression basically drownd me once i started getting sober.
even when i was still using. In some instances depression would cause
me to do more of what i shouldn’t have done. that’s when people thought i was
being selfish aswell. With me not knowing what to do at the time it kept getting worse. the face of the world changes everyday, you embrace these changes but might still feel condemed because all the lands don’t speak the same language.
Different peeps speaking in different languages alot of the time saying the same thing. " travel in jetpaks to offset the jetlags" and "I wish it cost so I coulden’t afford to get mad" Those two lines I aswell feel the same way. I like those lines.
I found that the people that don’t embrace the wealth of my mind or even your’s
it is the fact that they don’t understand. Some people don’t even take the time to try and understand. That really pisses me off. Especially when you’ve taken the time to listen and sort out the situation they are in to understand it.
Writing on you tablet thinking that you are running from the, but in reality your are trying to help others and yourself understand the mistake. Understanding the motive and then trying to embrace the change it has made in your world.
cake is good, even if it is uneven. So if the way to explain, to help people understand seems to be coming out uneven that is ok. As long as you can shake the roots in the minds of the people you speak to meaningfullly and have an end result that is an epiphany for the both of you good.
This time is your epiphany-using this thread as your weapon hoping that they see
and understand it.
The world does make it seem that it took away your voice because it seems that nothing you’ve said hasa made no difference. I to have seen that. You don’t know how many times, I had wished or hoped that the world would understand my thoughts and embrace them all. It’s almost like I have to run for president for people to hear me. But, I’d rather not. I feel I should keep writing, knowing that life is a bitch and some people won’t see or hear me. Getting past that thought and knowing that I will make an impact on some people. The manifestation of my thoughts in anothers mind, it’s a good feeling. Knowing that they are on the same page. I give you props right now for saying what you said. With what I’ve read I know you are a intelligent writer trying to reach out. And that you have. People care,
they always have, just gotta find them. This is a big world. Your slang definatley didn’t keep you here, it was you who did, you kept writing as you are know.
keep writing you’ll be here.
I can understand blaming the world, this site, or who ever. But shit, blaming everyone for everthing that did or didn’t happen, it does get old. I feel this is just a time for venting. Take the time that you need. Besides this is your epiphany.
Whether this person you speak of that has passed, has risen the aggressions you have now, or if it is just a peice of you, hell maybe it is both. I know you will get passed it. Just to give you sn idea. My mother has passed, my father has spent 90% of my life in prison. I was addicted to many drugs and now am clean.
I myself havehad many different cases where i take all my aggression out on everyone else. It just gets harder with the people around you the most,family,friends,ect. Especially if they don’t understand your current thoughts.
So I do understand you. Do yo understand me? Just another Epiphany.
They come and go throughout your life allowing you to understand something more.
Giving you a chance to pick other minds in hope of leaving your thoughts and ideas there.
do it. Just on paper. allows more detail to prevail.
Brack--------- |
| | |
