| User | blankscreen | | Topic | Cant let her see | | Message | If i submitted this then my sister might find it, although she might find it here it is a bit less likely. I just need someone to talk to, to make sure there is somewhere to go for me.
~~
I need someone to talk to.
What would you say if I told you
My twin sister and I are depressed
If I told you she had more of a reason than I do
What would you say if I told you
I am talking to her boyfriend and some random stranger she confides in
so they can tell me what to do
because she won’t talk to me
And I don’t know why
What would you say if I told you he loves me
If I told you there is more than one
And love scares me like crazy
because I don’t know when I feel it and when I don’t
And I don’t want to end up hurting anyone
What would you say if I told you
I followed the directions
Straight through to the end
And yet I didnt get the right conclusion
instead things just got worse
I told you that he told me to stand by her and tell her it hurt me too
But then she just felt worse
And I sat next to her just to hold her hand
because really I just needed someone to hold mine
But instead I made her relive it
Until she wanted to do more than cry
What would you say if I told you
That I fake my smile everyday because I think it might make her happy
And I think about attempting to commit suicide
Because I can tell she doesn’t need me
What would you say if I told you that I don’t want to tell you anything?
Because the pain is too hard to bear
When she finds out that we talk in secret
And she can hear our whispers
What would you say when I can’t talk to you any more
Because I don’t want to steal you from her
Because its not right to be stolen
And she deserves more
What would you say if I told you
Its over. |
|| Replies ||
| User | Samichan | 2008-02-29 | | | Subject | Oh and | | Message | Really just hang in there and have fun!!
♥-Sami |
| User | Samichan | 2008-02-29 | | | Subject | oo | | Message | Wow that is really well written.
But yes what GoKart Mozart said good luck with your situation! and just hang in there!!! |
| User | blankscreen | 2008-02-12 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | thanks, I will try to hang in here but its tough...
And I will think about changing those things about the poem,
right now I just need help changing the situation
:P |
| User | GoKart Mozart | 2008-02-11 | | | Subject | Wow | | Message | i usually dont like pieces written like this, but i must say, not bad.
i like how it tells a story.
it’s kinda iffy at times, but the last stanza really brings it together for me.
the stanza before last (the last time you say "What would you say if I told you")
i believe you need to separate those words from the rest of the line like the others, it’s distracting (in case you ever do decide to post it or anything else).
Not bad =]
Good luck with your situation!
Just hang in there!
+Moz+ |
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