| User | deepinthought | | Topic | what we teach kids | | Message | I have a 4 yr old girl who, the other day, comes up and says to me that she can not do something because she "is only a girl". She would never have picked it up in my home, because I am an avid supporter of women’s rights, and have tried to teach her that being a woman should make her feel powerful, and that she can climb any mountain in her path. I’m wondering, if anyone else has children, if they have had this problem with outside influences on their daughters and what they said or did to show their girls that being a woman is truly a blessing. |
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| User | mae | 2005-03-16 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | As far as teaching your daughter that being a woman is a blessing, my guess, deepinthought, is that your example is going to be plenty enough to teach your daughter. As long, that is, if you are simply joyous in your womanhood and not defensive about it. Defensiveness tends to teach children that there’s something wrong there. I have the feeling that you revel in being a woman and that will teach your daughter more than all the soapboxes in the world could ever teach her. mae |
| User | Learah | 2005-03-16 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | I think mae’s got it spot on. I have a son who is three and a daughter who’s four; I’ve never heard either of them say anything like that. My son plays with my daughter’s toys and vice versa; I try to keep things as equal as possible.
Try taking mae’s advice and see what happens.
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| User | mae | 2005-03-14 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | Just so you know where I’m coming from on this, I’ve raised five children, both boys and girls, and I teach 4 and 5 year olds. mae |
| User | mae | 2005-03-14 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | You know, there is one thing to consider, especially since your daughter is four. This might not have come from an "outside influence" as such, but from a four-year-old boy! Competition is strong among little boys, starting right about then. It only gets stronger. Girls are so obviously different from boys that, even if their parents don’t want to admit the differences, the children see it, anyway. And in their little minds,
if you’re different than me, then you aren’t as good as me. "You can’t build this. You’re just a girl." sounds, to me, very much like something a little boy would say to a little girl. And don’t think he’s necessarily taught that at home; it’s a natural thing in children.
I’d ask your daughter who told her that and then calmly tell her, without saying anything against the offending party, that they were simply wrong. If you show your daughter how upset you are, then this will always be an issue with her instead
of her viewing her abilities matter-of-factly. I think our own defensiveness oftentimes builds a defensiveness in our children rather than an acceptance of life and self the way we really are. "I can do whatever I want and just because a boy tells me I can’t doesn’t change that" as opposed to "I can, too, do it and what do you know, anyway?"
Now if it were a preschool teacher telling her that, that’s a whole ’nother ball game! mae
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| User | sierramuse8 | 2005-03-12 | | | Subject | kids | | Message | I’ve always told my kids they can do whatever they like and it’s not a matter of being a girl or a boy, but unfortunately the rest of the world has not come to that realization just yet. in my women’s studies class, we have discussed this very same thing and what you are doing is the right thing. ignore the outside influences or dispute them with your children and keep telling them they can do whatever they feel is right for them despite gender delineations. it’s probably not possible to change the world overnight, but over time more people will come around to this point of view, seeing that women should be equal, powerful and able to make choices on their own. It sounds like you are a strong person and a good role model. |
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