| Message | (apologies for cross-posting)
Hello, I’m an open-source developer working in the area of social and collaborative media. I am seeking advice on the wording of a political slogan.
By way of explanation, I’ve been working with project textbender to develop recombinant text. It’s a collaborative medium for poetry, creative writing, musical composition, and so forth. But it also has socio-political applications. These are being explored in a sister project, Votorola:
http://zelea.com/project/votorola/home.xht
I am working on a political slogan (of sorts), in order to express the purpose of ’open elections’. Here is what I have, so far:
Governments are machines, and businesses are machines.
They ought to be controlled. But our communities are *not*
machines. They ought *not* to be controlled, ought not
to be exposed to political power or economic manipulation.
(Phew!) This summarizes the design purpose of open elections, well enough. It also roughly paraphrases Jurgen Habermas’s critical theory of society (communicative action), which happens to inform the design. But, as it stands, it’s not very inspiring... Are there any wordsmiths who could help? Can anyone suggest improvements?
(Note: The collaborative tools under development for policy and legislative drafting will also be applicable to creative art. As they’re developed, they’ll be released to creative artists, too.)
What do you think?
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