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User	Aelfled | 2006-02-19 |
Subject	untitled
Message	Well, I’m one of those "rebellious teens" sometimes, but I try to be a good kid. Here’s how I like to be treated and remember, this is straight from a teen who’s going through it all’s mouth. At our age we’re going through some weird times. That freaky change from girl to woman, or boy to man. I can’t talk for the guys, but this is how I feel. Sometimes, I don’t even realize I’m talking back. I’m not trying to talk back, but I’m trying to discuss it like an adult. Sometimes it comes out all wrong, but this is a transition that we have to make. When our parents misunderstand us and accuse us of rebelling, it hurts. It hurts us emotionally, because trust me-- we do NOT want to be at odds with our parents. Honestly, we want you to see us as growing up. We want to be treated respectfully-- like our ideas actually do have merit to them. It’s not like we’re little kindergarteners any more. We’re learning how to make choices by ourselves. If we are incorrect on an idea, instead of treating us like little kids, explain your point of view to us, and just like on this debate, use your powers of persuasion. Be firm, fair, and friendly. Be something we can look up to and REALLY respect. I’m a horse trainer and from what I can discern from comparing a horse to a teenager, is that you need to gain their respect. Be the leader, but don’t force it on them. Instead, try your best to be something they can trust, come to for anything, and really understand what they are going through. One of my favorite horse training sayings is: Your horse doesn’t care how much you know, until he knows how much you care. Same with your teenager. We really don’t give a rip if you know the dangers of sex and pregnancy before you’re married or whatever. We honestly don’t care until you’ve proven to us that you are looking out for our best interests. Sometimes, what we really need is to just be able to vent. We don’t want solutions to our problems right then, but we just need to work it out in our own head and to do that, we just need you to shutup with the advice and just listen. Also, these teenage years are when we are learning how to fly. We’re becoming independent and need some more freedoms. If we’re screwing up and aren’t receptive to correction, get us busy on something. Alot of times the reason we screw up so bad is cause we have too much time on our hands. Just like 2 year olds (can’t believe I’m comparing us to babies) if you don’t keep us busy with something, we’re gonna stick our fingers in things we shouldn’t. We’re gonna get hurt. My Dad owns and operates a fence building business. As part of the family my siblings and I pitch in quite a bit. We get paid for it. It’s our job. That’s what keeps us busy. Perhaps if your kids are getting into trouble, maybe you should put them to work doing something. It doesn’t even necessarily have to be something they enjoy. Just something. But, then I could think totally different from most teenagers. I have been raised knowing my boundaries. If I disobeyed the boundaries my parents had set, I got spanked. It was completely fair (not child abuse at all). I knew the rules set, I knew the consequences for my disobedience, and I also knew that after I got spanked Mom or Dad (depending on who spanked me) would hold me and comfort me as I cried. I always knew that Mom and Dad loved me enough to discipline me. I still know they love me, even when I still get in trouble. I know it hurts them when I disobey and since I respect them for treating me fairly, it usually hurts me when I hurt them. Anyway, that’s what I have to say

User	Magnolia Steele | 2006-02-19 |
Subject	untitled
Message	You two need to be claer about what you want and expect in life now, waiting till you are married is unwise. Learn now can you give eachother what you need. It’s only selfish if you expect the other person to give in to your needs knowing they do not agree with them. Maggie

User	Evil Jesture | 2006-02-19 |
Subject	untitled
Message	No that shows that you want a child within your own blood specimen instead of taking on another. Its not like you are saying we are having a blood child not a adopted one or die grrr. Seriosly you stated your opinion and she did the same with hers, the agreement of what it comes out to be you two just have to accept

User	insphered soul | 2006-02-19 |
Subject	untitled
Message	well.....yeah...i asked her about what she wants to be and she said she’d be fine being a house wife/mother.........but she wants to adopt........sah, i want a child that comes from my own blood.....a child that can continue the Rigdon legacy.....is that selfish?.....she said that we didn’t have to adopt......we could just have a baby naturally in the future.....distand future......but does not wanting to adopt but instead have a child by what is natural make me selfish when she wants to adopt? and Erica, i’ll pray for you and DJ as well......i hope it turns out good for you.

User	Magnolia Steele | 2006-02-18 |
Subject	untitled
Message	Erica, I hope and pray along with you that you do have the healthy baby you want. It is good you and DJ are making plans now. Zach, you are right to see how things pan out, it just may be that , no matter how long she is good and never cheats again, you will never trust her. If you can’t trust her...something to think about as time goes on. Maggie

User	insphered soul | 2006-02-18 |
Subject	untitled
Message	yeah, i should find out what she plans on doing with her life and what she likes to do. she told me she wants to be a social worker because she was always insulted and people made lies about her and made her do stuff she never wanted to do and she wants to help kids that has happened too.....but she’s not sure what she really wants........and marry? idk about that.....she still has to gain my trust back

User	DrkRomeo_sGirl | 2006-02-18 |
Subject	im 16
Message	i have took child development classes. Ive thought alot about it. Im ready for the resonsibility. No prob. Shcool is my worry.Dj told my i cant drop out. Hes gonna geta good job and so am i . WE picked out names for a boy or a girl. Blaine ALan Jolly and if its a girl Alana Marie Jolly. Names really arent imp. the imp part im worried about i just want it to be a healthy baby. About the dog thing i was just using figure of speech.

User	Magnolia Steele | 2006-02-18 |
Subject	untitled
Message	And what is that exactly? Maggie

User	WritingPrincess | 2006-02-18 |
Subject	untitled
Message	i’d give my children a little bit of what i have and a little bit of what i want

User	Magnolia Steele | 2006-02-17 |
Subject	untitled
Message	It depends on the woman. I love being at home. Although I have no kids, I still run this house, and it is work I tell you. Find out if Jazzy is the kind to be home or have dreams of her own before you two marry. Maggie

User	insphered soul | 2006-02-17 |
Subject	untitled
Message	*back* i dont think i would regret it if i had already completed college and had a flexible career with a stay at home wife that can watch over the kids. but would that be taking away from her?

User	Magnolia Steele | 2006-02-17 |
Subject	untitled
Message	Anyways, while Zach goe eats up all the cookies. I think some of what OSTA said is why I am against having kids. I don’t want to wake up one day and regret it. I know she don’t, but I just might. Maggie

User	insphered soul | 2006-02-17 |
Subject	untitled
Message	gah, umm............yes....i mean no.......i mean......whats that over there? *runs into closet again but alone with cookies*

User	Magnolia Steele | 2006-02-17 |
Subject	untitled
Message	You smell like cookies...you stole the pack of cookies Zach! Maggie

User	insphered soul | 2006-02-17 |
Subject	untitled
Message	now i feel good too, thanks to all of you. *hugs all*

User	Magnolia Steele | 2006-02-17 |
Subject	untitled
Message	females have more experience talking about "feelings", lol. You both said all the right things guys. I’m proud of you. Maggie

User	Evil Jesture | 2006-02-17 |
Subject	untitled
Message	concur, isnt that the squirl that goes psycho and kills people. lol But I do agree anquer to you Steele you know how to say what I am trying to express but get tounge tide

User	insphered soul | 2006-02-17 |
Subject	untitled
Message	*claps* bravo Maggie and well said, i concur......hehe, concur

User	Magnolia Steele | 2006-02-17 |
Subject	untitled
Message	What’s done is done. All you can do now is make sure your girls achieve their dreams and think of universites when they move out, for yourself. My bf’s mom is back in college at 50 something and is happy as a lark. You are never to old to reach your dreams. You are not a bad mother for feeling like you do. Hindsight is 20/20. But hope is bright and well ahead of you. Maggie

User	Evil Jesture | 2006-02-17 |
Subject	untitled
Message	Live for the moment not for the past. Never look back but never forget.