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User	mae | 2006-07-22 |
Subject	untitled
Message	ghost, that premise has been shown to be true for individuals who were sexually abused as children. Major studies have shown, however, that for physical abuse, verbal abuse and neglect, the effects are just the opposite. Individuals who were abused in any or all of those manners as children grew up to exhibit the same behaviors to which they were subjected. They are learned behaviors, rather than a psychological defect. Basically, you will parent the way you were parented. That’s not to say one can’t overcome such tendencies. The first requirement is for the victim of child abuse to acknowledge that they were/are abused. If they deny that it is happening, it will continue with them. They don’t even have to call it ’abuse’. The victim just has to recognize that the way they are being treated is wrong. Knowing that, they will be inclined to learn parenting behaviors that do not include abuse. mae mae

User	ghostknight | 2006-07-22 |
Subject	untitled
Message	there’s not much evidence to suggest that the cycle will repeat itself. a child beaten by his parents has as much chance of beating his children as one who wasn’t. this study has been conducted regarding many scenarios, such as child molestation, sexual abuse, or physical abuse to name a few. there is always a degree of influence on the child, but there is basically no re-wiring or programming occuring that will cause the child to re-enact his own experiences over again. and of course there are always exceptions- it takes a combination of environmental, emotional, and psychological factors to bring (in this case) an abusive tendancy out of an individual. the act of abusing another person is related to a psychological disorder that develops through the combination of the three major influences on a person. one doesn’t have to be abused at all to become an abuser. being abused doesn’t change the formula. that’s not to say you should beat the kids. i think it teaches them the less effective ways of handling a real situation.

User	supergirl_in_oh | 2006-07-22 |
Subject	untitled
Message	i think you can disapplin your children everyonce in a while by setting them in the corner. or like sitting them or grounding them off the video games or what they like the most but i don’t believe in hitting children because i believe children do what they see but it’s worse when they do it. so if you hit your children your children will beat there children and i just think thats wrong.

User	DaGrimReaperess | 2006-07-22 |
Subject	untitled
Message	yeahh my family kinda spoils me. why wouldnt they. i mean i have like a green halo over my head.

User	insphered soul | 2006-07-22 |
Subject	untitled
Message	i got hit and you got fu.kin candy

User	GiveMeTheGun | 2006-07-22 |
Subject	untitled
Message	Grim you spoiled brat.

User	insphered soul | 2006-07-22 |
Subject	untitled
Message	lucky

User	DaGrimReaperess | 2006-07-22 |
Subject	untitled
Message	no then he gave me candy so iwas like cooooolll. shoot mannn im deadassss

User	insphered soul | 2006-07-22 |
Subject	untitled
Message	but did he smack you upside your head and tell you he doesn’t need you in this world?

User	DaGrimReaperess | 2006-07-22 |
Subject	untitled
Message	mann my rents put me in time out still. even my grampa puts me in time out. Hes like Grim TIMEOUT sit on dis couch and dont move. and i didnt even do anything.

User	insphered soul | 2006-07-22 |
Subject	untitled
Message	having the shit beat out of me was hard to handle. i didn’t even do anything wrong 60% of the time. but they said i deserved it, so i guess i did

User	GiveMeTheGun | 2006-07-17 |
Subject	untitled
Message	>>>>don’t disregard the rest of my message on that account. I’m not. You’re saying just because my parents beat the shit out of me and i handled it okay doesn’t mean other children will. That fact is I wasn’t beaten to shit, and if I was, then it would be another story, now wouldn’t it? I don’t think ANY kid could handle it well. I’m not disregarding shit. It’s just that there’s nothing else to regard.

User	NoMartyr | 2006-07-17 |
Subject	untitled
Message	***Dear me, did I say I had the shit beaten out of me growing up? *** Hyperbole and miscommunication are two different things, so please, don’t disregard the rest of my message on that account.

User	onetruesmartass | 2006-07-17 |
Subject	untitled
Message	Well, I would say it depended on the child and on whatever they did to earn the punishment. Some kids learn from physical punishment and others don’t. Also, if physical punishment is used, it needs to be appropriate to the crime. Whooping a kids ass for spilling paint and then telling them no-no for wrecking the car just isn’t going to work. I also don’t believe in EVER using weapons. By weapons I mean belts, paddles, spoons, whatever. Hands hurt alot less but get the message across. But I think more than anything open and honest communication with children is absolutely key. If you don’t tell a kid why their getting in trouble and what behavior you expect from them, how are they going to know? And if you respect your children, they will respect you. Somehow I’ve gotten extremely lucky enough that both of my girls are ( so far) very well behaved and I haven’t had to use physical punishment for at least over six years now. Of course, they are almost teenagers now, so maybe the rubber hoses and restraints might come out of storage. LOL *onetruesmartass*

User	GiveMeTheGun | 2006-07-17 |
Subject	untitled
Message	***Because your parents beat the shit out of you and handled it okay, does not mean that another child would. Dear me, did I say I had the shit beaten out of me growing up? Discipline and being beaten to shit are two different things, NoMartyr.

User	Seele | 2006-07-16 |
Subject	untitled
Message	I say: "Let’s bring back the cane at school!" Then we’ll probably no longer have a teacher shortage and better behaved brats in class. Smacking kids...humm... well since I belive in the cane at school I can hardly object to smacking kids. Just don’t kill them, or bruise them. Though a reasnoble smack will just teach them a lesson so they don’t do something stupid when they’re older.

User	mae | 2006-07-16 |
Subject	untitled
Message	Discipline does not cause any child to become abusive or violent. Abuse does that. Discipline can take many forms. For some especially sensitive children, it can be just a disappointed or stern look; for others, a spanking may be what it takes to get their attention; and there’s a whole range of discipline options in between those two. Appropriate, consistent, loving discipline gives a child a feeling of security, safety and love. You care enough about them to prevent them from dangerous behaviors - either physically dangerous or socially dangerous. Children will continually push against the boundaries you set - that’s their job as they see it - and as they grow you will change the boundaries. But the fences should never just fall over; if they do, they aren’t really fences. mae

User	NoMartyr | 2006-07-16 |
Subject	untitled
Message	***They say disciplining your children teaches them to be abusive and become violent, and yet it’s fine to allow your kids to watch people get blown to shit, get the crap beaten out of them, and/or become gruesomely murdered. *** VICARIOUSLY, I ***Growing up I was disciplined and I’m not all that fucked. *** What you (and everyone else) must learn to understand is that YOU are not EVERYBODY. Your mind is different, your threshold for discipline is different. Everybody is different. Because your parents beat the shit out of you and handled it okay, does not mean that another child would.

User	DaGrimReaperess | 2006-07-14 |
Subject	untitled
Message	or take out their door from their room.thats what my dad does to me and it works.

User	DaGrimReaperess | 2006-07-14 |
Subject	untitled
Message	or take out their door from their room.thats what my dad does to me and it works.