| User | joeyalphabet | | Topic | Deciding when to die | | Message | My newborn niece Celina has been in a neonatal intensive care unit since she was born last month. She’s having serious problems with lung, kidney and heart functions. This past Sunday, my sister and her husband received an emergency call to go to the hospital – her blood wasn’t oxygenating properly and her O2 levels had dropped into the 40% range. The doctors wanted them to sign a ‘do not resuscitate’ order. They didn’t and still haven’t because they don’t really know what they should do. And I didn’t have one word of advice to offer. How do you advise someone on whether or not to let their child die?
My dad went through this with my mother years ago. He came home in tears one day after they asked him whether he would remove her from life support or not, asking who he was to decide whether she lived or died. Mom lived for several years in a persistent vegetative state. So you see I have some experience with these matters but still don’t have answers.
My question is when and how do you decide when it’s no longer appropriate to keep someone alive. This isn’t a philosophical discussion. It’s not about whether you think euthanasia is morally permissible or not. It’s a question about how much and how long we allow someone (especially someone we can’t ask) to suffer. |
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| User | Blue Monk | 2007-10-26 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | ribbitt
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| User | Blue Monk | 2007-10-26 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | ribbett |
| User | MyX | 2007-09-26 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | Grim’s world of ’tools’ starring scarz. directed by Ron Jeremy.
(i’m not as funny when i’m caffinated)
MyX |
| User | DaGrimReaperess | 2007-09-25 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | its chill to have u back jenn. |
| User | scarz | 2007-09-25 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | Fine think what you like:P |
| User | MyX | 2007-09-19 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | oh yes. ;)
MyX |
| User | scarz | 2007-09-19 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | ummmmmmmmm........no :/ |
| User | MyX | 2007-09-18 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | Jennifer Scarz....sounds like a good bondage porn name.
MyX |
| User | scarz | 2007-09-12 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | hi joe,
i come to elite with a different name and a different life, my name has changed and everything else too.so pardon me for writing here, but i feel i must say something. i am very sorry for you,your sister her husband and all of your family.i will prey for all of you.i know what its like to loose a child.but just smile knowing she is in a safer place. ~jenn |
| User | Jeniffer | 2007-09-10 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | Joey, listen to me. My family has always been staunchly anti-euthanasia. My dad has seen my little brother go grey in the face more times than he can count. He has yelled and cussed at doctors to do something when they stand there in bewilderment. He has fought, as he says, "tooth and toenail" to keep him alive.
My little brother has been through more than most adults in terms of medical problems, surgery, bad doctors, good doctors, and pain, and yet today, he is more stable then he has ever been and is speaking in sentences. He is 11 years old and can’t walk, but he is happy.
This is because we absolutely refused to give up and let him die, no matter what anyone told us. So many other people would have given up a long time ago, but he is with us today because of my dad’s unfailing loyalty, stubbornness, and hours of praying.
Those parents should not give up on their baby just because the doctors suggest euthanasia. My brother has come back from being nearly dead. That baby has a real chance of making it if the parents make sure the doctors do everything they can. I believe that if someone is going to die, they will die, but it is the doctors job to do everything in their power. I say to hell with ’do not resuscitate’. She’s only a baby. Give her a chance.
An old woman in a vegetative state is a far cry from a newborn with a lot of problems. In my opinion, you should hold on to hope until the very last minute. They may be glad they did someday when their child grows up to be healthy and happy. |
| User | mae | 2007-08-29 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | Oh, joey, I’m so sorry. mae |
| User | Chell | 2007-08-27 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | My heart aches for you Joey.
But at lest she’s not hurting anymore...
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| User | joeyalphabet | 2007-08-26 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | Celina paseed away last night. I want to really thank everyone for their wishes, thoughts and expecially their prayers. Please continue parying for her parents. |
| User | Blue Monk | 2007-08-25 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | All children belong to God, just as all life is simply on loan. |
| User | joeyalphabet | 2007-08-24 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers |
| User | mae | 2007-08-24 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | Ah, Joey, I’m so sorry to hear this. How incredibly painful this all must be. I cannot even imagine what your sister and her husband are going through. I’ve never actually had to face that, but ALMOST did just before my mother died. The idea of making decisions of that magnitude scared me to death, and that was only a possibility.
I think there’s a big difference between making that decision for an adult facing death or a vegetative state and making it for a newborn. Newborns have such amazing recuperative and restorative abilities. If the adults who love them can stand to just wait - even in spite of obvious suffering - for just awhile, babies often improve and can then be helped. In sounds like an imcomplete solution - allowing the baby to suffer for a time - but if death is the only alternative?
If a baby’s life will continue only if it is attached to machines - and they’re sure of that - then that is no life. Which, of course, does not make the decisions any easier. Not at all.
There is no adequate comfort any of us can give, Joey. I’m so sorry. mae |
| User | Learah | 2007-08-23 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | This must be a heavy weight on the minds of your family Joey. It must be a heartbreaking decision to sign a DNR and I am glad that deep consideration is being given on the matter.
My mother had to switch off her partner’s life support after he suffered a brain haemhorrage which left him in a persistent vegetative state and I think it was too much responsibility for a family member. The guilt must be unbearable. I think in that instance, a DNR is a less aggressive solution.
However I am not sure what my thoughts are on Celina’s situation. You mentioned she is stable right now, though wholly dependent on medical support to ensure she receives the necessary oxygen. Are there any avenues of treatment to explore, respiratory therapy, possibly future operations?
If there is a chance that she may ride this rough patch out, if there is a possiblity of further treatment which could mean recovery, I’d be wary to sign a DNR.
However if the doctors have done all they can, if Celina is in severe pain, unable for more surgery or no other treatment exists and her condition will definitely deteriorate, I would not want to prolong any suffering on her part.
Gosh Joe, I cannot begin to voice the hurt I feel that your family is going through this. My heartfelt sympathy and constant thoughts are with you all.
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| User | Ronswords | 2007-08-22 | | | Subject | Hi | | Message | Joey
My Mother and I both have written in our wills to never ever be put on amachine to help us survive
To me that is Playing God
I again stress that is just my opinion
Every situation is different and I would never ever say my beliefs are the only right way
I will be continuing to pray for your niece Celina Joey
On another note Joey
If my little sister wasnt put on life support machines as a baby she would not be here today 33 years later
As I have said each situation is unique
Thank God we have freedom of choice
God Bless
Ron Ramonas |
| User | H_K | 2007-08-22 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | I have set a month on my living will- I DO NOT want to be stuck in a body kept alive by machines.
My grandmother- a very religious woman- believes that it is best to let God sort that out.
She believes that we should pull the plug within a month- every time- if God wants them to stay here, they’ll wake up. If not, it’s only medical science and our own selfishness-- getting in the way of God collecting his children back to him.
Mine opinion- her opinion- I’m sure there will be many more- all just as valid as all the others.
Your sis will know how much and how long she should let her baby suffer. And when it’s over, she’ll need a caring brother to be there for her...
You’re a good guy Joey. (A dying breed...) |
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