User	Suffocating
Topic	(about cutting)
Message	Stopping the Thoughts A girl sat in the corner of a dark, small room. The only light was from the moon outside that shined through the window. The girl watched as her tears fell from her eyes down to her arm. The warm water from her tears mixed with the blood from her arm. Line after line, formed on her arm, a small knife sat next to the girl on the floor. The cuts released the pain inside, the tears released the feelings from the cuts. This was not the first time she had done this, as the healed scars on her body showed. This was a thing often done. She had almost forgotten how it started. And she cared not to think of how it might end. The blood and tear mixture now ran down her arm, and on to her leg. She faced the tiny river she watched it as it slowly moved, as it seemed to go at a small steady trickle. Her thoughts filled her mind pulling her attention from the river, of tears and blood. She watched the thoughts and pictures of her mother as they crossed her mind. She watched as her mind played movie, after movie of past time, of things said, things done, and things thought. She tried to pull away from the thoughts they were getting to strong, to intense. She could not handle the thoughts, not right now . She reached for the small knife on the floor, blood still on it from before. Its blade was cold as it touched her skin. This was the only way she knew how to get the thoughts to stop, this was the only way she could see, the only thing she could do. She took a deep breath, and as she exhaled, she pressed the knife in her skin. She felt the familiar sting there was no pain, just a light sting. She took her cue from the sting and carefully slowly pulled the knife along her arm. She stopped after a red line about 3inches long appeared. A sigh of relief exited her lips, the thoughts now stopped. No tears fell this time she had cried all she needed to the last time. The blood almost dried on the first cuts she had made. She ran her fingers along her cuts, they formed the word “Tired “ the new line she had just made underlined the word. She looked at her arm and examined it. She looked carefully at the word “Tired “ it was not to big, not to small. She closed her eyes, and again ran her finger over the dried blood of the word tired . As her fingers past over each letter, her mind almost went in to the blood, in to the meaning , in to the cut, in to the word. She could not find words to described this, just feelings. She felt relief, sadness, love , hate. When she looked at her cuts of past ,and present time. What ever emotion came first, its opposite emotion would come soon. She looked at her cut and felt proud of her work, but then a few mins came by and she felt disappointment, in herself for what she had done. There seem always two thoughts, two feeling for the girl. Always opposite of each other. She always felt pulled, stretched between the two. It was like right, and wrong dark, and light. She looked at the clock, and realized it was late. So she picked up the small knife, and wiped off the blood. She put the knife back in its wood case, and under her pillow. She pulled down her shirt sleeve to cover her work she had done. Climbed in to bed. She put her hands under her head, and the pillow, and felt the box. She knew that if she needed saving from thoughts, or dreams, from pain, or numbness, that the knife in that box would save her. With that thought she drifted in to a dream. That she would soon wake up from and let the knife save her from it. But she made it to the day, she made it to see the sun rise. She just wondered if she would see it tomorrow or the day after.

|| Replies ||

User Apocalyptica | 2005-01-19 |
Subject untitled
Message Nope.

User Rokhal | 2005-01-18 |
Subject untitled
Message Cutting is cool here?

User joeyalphabet | 2005-01-07 |
Subject untitled
Message this is an good piece. you’re off to a great start here. i think you need to do a bit more ’showing’ rather than ’telling’. grammatically, you do have some fragments you should take care of, but a good effort here. :-)