| User | Whildkaht | | Topic | Any Worth In This? | | Message | I don’t know if i have a talent for writing. I don’t stick to "forms" or other things. I just write. So tell me what you think of these if you have time. Be totally honest. And totally honest doesn’t mean brutally honest. lol. Just kidding - if you think it’s crap, then say so, but have a reason.
OPHIDIOPHOBIA
You viper!
Forcing your venom into me!
You ruined my life
In a single, opportunistic strike.
A newfound virginitiphobia
Condemning solitude.
I wish to be a snake.
To shed.
To shed every cell of skin you touched.
I, the little rabbit,
Able to only wriggle.
But have you ever heard a rabbit scream?
You will never forget the sound.
I wonder
Do cobras feel guilt?
CRYSTAL ROSE #2
I stand against all pressure,
Beauty untouchable.
Not to wilt,
Not to fade.
Yet glass is so breakable,
So easily
Shattered.
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL EYES
I noticed the darkest eyes today,
Although I’ve seen them for years.
I’ve heard talk about
Eyes like oceans
That people swim in.
Yours, too, are like the ocean.
But not one that I swim in.
No, THIS ocean I nearly drown in.
I sink, gasping for air,
But taking in only water.
Gasping, clawing, praying...
Praying to get out of the water.
Can’t look away...
Then these eyes,
They pierce my heart,
And the water gushes out.
I have enough time to take one last gasp
Before being dragged down again. |
|| Replies ||
| User | Logic | 2006-07-06 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | Boring. |
| User | Amanda Lynn | 2006-03-22 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | Very well put Fantastic Freya. Very well put. You can take classes and try for years to write poetry but its something that comes from inside. I will go months without writing a sing word then one day pick up a pen and write pages and pages. I dont use a specific form most of the time i dont use punctuation but in my heart i feel just like Emily Dickenson <minus the mental issues haha, ok maybe not minus them> or T. S. Elliot. Write your words. Let them flow thru you. In the end if you can read what you wrote and feel like every word is placed where you wanted it to go, then who cares if there is form or even if its in a language others can comprehend.
I loved Crystal Rose, actually i loved them all but thats my favorite.
Nicely done. |
| User | Fantastic Freya | 2006-03-21 | | | Subject | untitled | | Message | Yes mate, there’s merit. You can learn forms or techniques, you can’t learn poetry. You’ve already got that. Put them out there, let people comment, see what you think of what they have to say, change things if you think it improves the poem, politely ignore them if it doesn’t. |
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