Pot HeadPunch Card
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  Some say that legalizing marijuana can help stop the drug problem and crime problem. The argument is that making drugs illegal creates a huge lucrative project of underground crime that may hold worse problems than even the effects of the drugs on the population may be. I remember hearing on the show "tough crowd"(the most reliable source :p) that cities like Amsterdam legalized just about everything and there crime rate is 0(to which another comedian replied, "Yeah but I never seen a black man from Amsterdam[the speaker was black]!". I propose to legalize it BUT have every smoker get a marijuana punch card. Top NASA scientist will be taken from the meaningless world of collecting rocks and seeing how ants fly to really soaring high in the production of chemically engineered weed. This will by no means get people to smoke more with benefits paralleling that of a free movie once all holes are punched. Cards would be updated yearly with extra tax deductions on the heavy smokers (they gave all their spare money to the government anyway[they'll need it for rehab. :p]) but only low grade jobs allowed.

First Row:	Low end jobs only. Any teachers applying will be subject to background checks and may not be eligible to become guidance councilors.
Second Row:	Politicians may be subject to review unless they pay a small fee. Any teachers applying will be subject to background checks and may be eligible to be guidance councilors or coaches.
Third Row:	These people will not be legally allowed to have children. They will be automatically arrested if all rows are filled and get a 40% off coupon on any rehab. center.