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    dotsJournal: Againdots
    Mood: The Usual

    Long time... but no one reads this probably... so it doesn't matter. I live with the love of my life. And that's good enough for me.

    ...Created 2006-07-21 08:20:31

    dotsJournal: Nothing new...dots
    Mood: The Usual

    I haven't been on here in a long time. Probably will be a long time before I'm on again... but it doesn't matter considering I don't think that anyone will be reading this at all.

    I'm happy. My boyfriend is amazing, my life is pretty good, and I'm in the musical this semester at my college, which is going to wear me out. But in this time of "goodness" I find I have nothing to write about usually... so whatever. I get little things from time to time, but nothing much.

    The sight of him is relief.
    And I'm alone.
    I know
    Hope was never seen
    But I love him
    My friend, companion
    I trust
    I forget
    I live.

    And such. I met my boyfriend on the net, btw... he lives 400 miles away from me, but I wouldn't give him up for the entire world. I think I'm going to transfer colleges in the fall. He's perfect, and I'm going to love him for the rest of my life.

    The Death of this day
    And where do I end
    The Sun, the Moon, the Stars
    Or the space between
    The nothingness
    Or climb the stars
    The top of the sky
    Or land on the Moon
    Watch over Earth
    Or fade, burn away into the sun
    To light the world

    I love the sky/stars... makes my life worth living and seem meaningless both at the same time. Beautiful.

    Well... I have class in seven hours... shit. Heh... good night all of you non-readers of this dumb journal entry.


    ...Created 2006-01-10 00:48:49

    dotsJournal: Todaydots
    Mood: The Usual

    Today was normal. As most are, now that school has started once again. Scratch the previous "changing majors to psychology" entry... not going to happen. I still don't really know what I want to do, but it won't be that.

    I've let my biggest secret be known to my family... that I'm not exactly the daughter that my parents thought they raised. And they just don't understand me. It's like they think I'm going through a rebelious phase, when in fact I'm just finally being myself. I've spent my entire life trying to be what I've thought they wanted me to be, and now I'm finally me... and it's hard, actually. As I recently wrote in my actual journal... "they all have in their heads a portrait of my mask, and my heart drops every time I see any of them." Or something to that effect.

    So I live, day to day. Waiting around for something interesting to happen, some new breakthrough or what may come. Life is so long when you wait, yet so short when you have what you want.

    ...Created 2005-09-15 23:37:55

    dotsJournal: reminiscingdots
    Mood: Sigh...

    Breaks Her Eyes

    Anxiously, she sits and waits for his word,
    But he stalls.
    Still she waits as she always does.
    He uses her for her time,
    For her interest in him.
    He breaks her eyes,
    And leaves her crying for love.
    Love that she deserves,
    But she doesn’t know it.

    And she lives her life in his shadow.
    She thinks that he is hers,
    But he has never done her wishes.
    Never cares enough to show her,
    That she means something.
    He breaks her eyes,
    Leaving her crying for attention,
    She doesn’t know him.

    And he leaves her without a thought.
    She dies in her soul,
    And then lives denying herself
    Thinking she doesn’t deserve anyone.
    He breaks her eyes,
    And leaves for another girl.
    She deserves more,
    But she doesn’t know it.

    I hate my ex. It's been three years. I guess I decided to look at it from this angle. Yeah...

    ...Created 2005-07-17 20:10:07

    dotsJournal: Cunfuzzleddots
    Mood: The Usual

    I'm going into my second year of college, and I do believe that I have no concrete idea of what I want to do for the rest of my life. I'm currently an English major. I'd like to be able to write books and stuff... but I've never really been able to write complete stories with dialouge and all of that stuff. And if you may or may not notice, some of my poems are telling a story. I think I'm kind of practicing the whole writing stories thing. But I suck at actually writing long stories that include dialogue. I always thought that since I couldn't write stories, I would edit them. Hence the English major. But I don't think I want to do that for the rest of my life. So... I think about changing majors to psychology. Which being a psychologist holds more appeal currently than being an editor. But I've wanted to deal with books and stuff my whole life, so it's difficult to change. My boyfriend just tells me to switch to psychology because that's what I'll end up doing anyway, and it probably is... but it's just not that easy for me, I guess. So this is the biggest thing that is currently plaguing me.

    So... that's a bit of my life. Also... I spend all of my free time in my room... because... I have no life off of the internet, it seems. Yeah... basically. And if any of you want to talk to me off of ES, you can talk to me on my yahoo any time. I'm on basically all the time. I like internet friends :D Oh, and I can't figure out how to put a picture of myself on here... so... any help would be appreciated... lol. Lataz.
    -Sarah <3

    ...Created 2005-07-17 16:29:14

    dotsJournal: My Dreamdots
    Mood: Relaxing

    Night sky above me, walking, alone over miles. But I am at complete peace. I feel more real than I ever have. Smiling at life and how easy it is if I just let go of all my worries. The black sky is so clear, and nothing but the sounds and smells of nature is around me. I just breathe, and walk. Happier than I have ever felt before. I get anxious to reach my destination, and begin to jog. I look up to see a shooting star grace my eyes with it's appearance. I continue smiling because life can be so beautiful. When I begin to worry how I look jogging with arms flailing in my pale blue jacket, I laugh at myself at the ridiculous notion that nature would judge on something so trivial. And so I continue my journey and begin to realize I am not becoming tired. My breathing is not labored, never hinting at the number of miles I have so far crossed. I arrive to find what I left was here as well, but I know that this time I had so much more. I had a life that was never tiring and which resulted from an incredible journey.

    ...Created 2005-07-10 16:30:04

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




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