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    poetry


    dotsJournal: Sept 10, 1945dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Overwhelmed

    and i didnt choose this anymore than a fish chooses to bite the hook confused, distraught... scared with that hint of fighting Death in my eyes... the illsuion of choice. tear myself free... or sit back and let fate have its way with me like a girl in a truck stop bathroom (ive never been one to fight you.) so i guess its apparent now. fuck it right? what could ever have been done? i already bit my tongue off, it was time to put it on the chopping block like a brave chicken in its last throes. 18 months? ive got you beat, mike. (try it sans coeur.)

    ...Created 2011-04-06 22:55:55

    dotsJournal: ntitld/nfnsheddots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Depressed

    if this was your intention a bullet would be quicker
    now lets watch as the callosity grows thicker
    you asked me why i love you... and now i ask myself
    crazier than vapor huffing oracles at delph

    so this is what it sounds like when a grown man quits
    and smokes an ounce a day to stop the nervous fits
    i would erase you if i could, i lost control long ago
    so ijust follow you as you follow the status quo

    shoulda woulda coulda kept my fucking mouth shut
    instead you put me out just like a cigarette butt
    cus im replaceable as a motherfucking spring in a watch
    youll just pick another out like a furniture store swatch

    ...Created 2011-03-25 22:01:37

    dotsJournal: dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: The Usual

    ...Created 2011-03-21 14:27:19

    dotsJournal: dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: The Usual

    dear travis... you are a fuckign idiot. you fucking cannot figure out the most simple obvious shit... she doesnt fucking love you. she doesnt fucking want you. she doesnt GIVE A SHIT. forget about it. you lose. you FAIL. JUST FUCKING QUIT NOW. its that simple. when a person wants something, they get it. and youve made yourself easy enough to get, but so have the hints, so FUCKING get them already. leave her alone. she doesnt want you. youre fucking fat. youre disgusting. no woman will ever love you.

    kill yourself.

    ...Created 2011-03-01 17:49:37

    dotsJournal: dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Lonely

    life is fucking retarded. pointless. you struggle and struggle and struggle and in the end... idk. it just feels like i am banging my head against a brick wall.

    ...Created 2011-02-16 22:06:40

    dotsJournal: dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Sigh...

    ...Created 2011-02-03 00:42:21

    dotsJournal: dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Frustrated

    i dont mind broken memories of who you were in my mind... its what youve become in my dream that drives me mad. i wish i could touch you one more time if only to take your life. why do you do this to me, hiding behind your mask of innocence built from my tears? i find a meandering in my meaning but the message is the same, I HATE ME FOR LOVING YOU, emblazoned on my mind. when i lay me down to sleep i pray only for nights of darkness, and no more of candles... for one more's light shall forever blind me. i bear your scars, i wish you bore my burden... destroyer, bear thyself. none so qualified to define tragedy... catastrophic waves of anguish wash on the shores herein forevermore - eroding whats left. whats left? part of who i was, none of who i am. nights of rememberance wont kill regret anymore than painting over dirt, drinking over hurt... i gave up on goodbyes when i said goodbye, for farewells dont fare well when coupled with passion. when does heartbreak end? when does it begin? at hello, or goodbye? when there's no beginning, how can i ever hope for an end, or means hitherto? soliloquy is lost on forever's embrace, for theres no familiarity with longing though it lasts eons. time heals all wounds, but fall turns to winter and my aspirations wither and fall as so many leaves from boughs. why couldnt i stay in shadows, hiding behind my corpse? if all i was was time wasted, then why all the lowercases and capitals? if all we were couldnt fill a shot glass, then why have i tilted so many? when all i wanted was to have and to hold, why are we now for worse and not better? a band of gold studded with diamonds, none as radiant as the colors i saw in your eyes... for naught. for not a moment it spent on your hand til news of your deceit pierced through my all. after squeezing every last bit of blood from my turnip heart, you drank not a drop. after hearing of your cold heart i lit myself afire, but fire in the smoke may much resemble frost. why lambest he whose heart forever drowns in regret. two long years spent counting days from death to death of joy... and close to death myself. i thought you saved me... but... im not even alive. SET ME FREE my heart screams towards dreams of you... free? forgotten participle, passed past when love became " ". this is the part where we both go our seperate ways... stop making me follow you. tugging on heartstrings lending themselves better for a leash or a noose hasnt torn your calloused hands... but my blood runs anew from hands and knees each time i crawl back to a lost image of WHAT WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN. and even in BEING found anew, i cant help but picture it as my way of getting back at you. no glorious revelations of how we'll never be just jest and conjecture. in spite of all you said, ill merely... say... as i throw off the ties that bind... for richer or for poorer... i wont miss you when i say goodbye... one last time. for if a coal falls from a fireplace does the fire burn less bright? and would a rose without a petal look so awkward? if one note is missing from a melody... does the piece change? and if two chemicals mix... are they not still the same.... or are they irrevocably changed? so, as i pass, a ghost across your shadow, ill wander til i find your gaze no more, only to wonder from whence your gaze came. as the shadows come to arms, hunting me ever as if plague, ill no longer seek solace in your darkness. for one cannot protect that which they know not. who is worthy to question the way things are? to challenge fate's hand, be as it may? to contest a decision that wasnt even made, but BORN? youll not find who you are, or who i was... both are lost. both defeated by an angels hand, belonging to yourself. but my image of you is illusion, is allusion... i refer to what i made you to be, and im laying her to rest...
















    in the land of all, there is a well... and it is empty. this is the story of all's well.

    ...Created 2010-08-31 06:02:09

    dotsJournal: dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Rant

    my wrists, they itch for razors
    my lips for one more kiss
    as i carve your name with surgeons care
    i sit and reminisce

    and im so fuckin happy, i could slit my wrists
    break apart this mirror fist o'er bloody fist
    alluring stares from shotguns, o' i cant resist
    why are we all born to die, exist just to exist?

    look at all the pretty colours
    myriad shades of red
    no prismatic drops could stop
    this colourblind bullet from reaching my head

    im the bastard son of heartache
    my faith sent falling from a second story window
    ground rushing to embrace...
    the fallen... the falling.

    and im so fuckin happy, i could slit my wrists
    break apart this mirror fist o'er bloody fist
    alluring stares from shotguns, o' i cant resist
    why are we all born to die, exist just to exist?

    and with our fate sealed in blood
    WE RUN.
    away from that which made us,
    ...LOVERS ARE A DYING BREED.

    (and when it's all over
    and we're together in the mausoleum
    dressed in our sundays best
    ill think only of the good times
    i promise...
    ...rigor sets in crossed fingers.)

    ...Created 2010-08-31 06:01:29

    dotsJournal: well...dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: fairly high.

    im 22 now. im an old fucking man. lol.

    ...Created 2010-06-08 14:24:27

    dotsJournal: .......dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Depressed

    Smeared black ink... your palms are sweaty
    And I'm barely listening to last demands
    I'm staring at the asphalt wondering what's buried underneath
    Where I am
    Where I am

    I'll wear my badge... a vinyl sticker with big block letters adherent to my chest
    That tells your new friends I am a visitor here...
    I am not permanent
    And the only thing keeping me dry is
    Where I am
    Where I am
    Where I am

    You seem so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex
    A stranger with your door key explaining that I am just visiting
    And I am finally seeing
    Why I was the one worth leaving
    Why I was the one worth leaving

    D.C. sleeps alone tonight

    Where I am
    Where I am
    Where I am

    You seem so so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex
    A stranger with your door key explaining that I am just visiting
    And I am finally seing
    Why I was the one worth leaving
    Why I was the one worth leaving

    Where I am
    Where I am
    Where I am

    The district sleeps alone tonight after the bars turn out their lights
    And send the autos swerving into the loneliest evening
    And I am finally seeing
    Why I was the one worth leaving
    Why I was the one worth leaving
    Why I was the one worth leaving
    Why I was the one worth leaving

    ...Created 2009-12-15 16:10:33

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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