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    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    Forgiveness is a blessing..
    To tell the truth, is be recieved.
    To be kind, is to honor.
    Slowly, I am changing.
    I can feel it.
    Slowly, I am righting my wrongs.
    Making amends.
    I can prove, that I'm different.

    -Yours truly, the The Riddled Redeemer

    ...Created 2010-03-23 03:46:28

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: So in love.

    Alex.. I just want to thank you.
    After everything that I've put you through..
    After all the spitting words, the icy feelings..
    You treat me like I'm queen..
    You have no idea.. How much I love you..

    Thank you.

    ...Created 2010-03-22 23:06:24

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    Fuck you.
    Fuck you life,
    Fuck you heart.
    Fuck you feelings,
    just go away and leave me to live my life.
    I don't want this.
    Not anymore.
    Fuck you.. Everything.

    ...Created 2010-03-22 11:58:05

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: Kill me or leave me be.

    I'm sick to my stomach thinking.
    I've wronged another friend.
    My closest friend.
    Is it too much emotion?
    Am I coming on too strong?

    I just can't stop..
    Can't stop hurting people.
    It's unintentional, I know that much.
    But I can't stand it.
    It's too much to know that I'm slowly breaking the hearts of the people I love.

    I'd be damned lucky if I wake up tomorrow.
    Who would miss me?
    In all honesty, no one.
    People say things, but they don't mean them,
    They never do.

    it's the internet, should I be so involved?
    It leads to my own self destruction.
    My own pain.
    The tears that fall, even as I type this softly wisper, "Things will be better, when your sleeping for good."

    I'm sorry I upset you so much Cupcake.
    And.. Even though you say your okay, I know your not.
    And it's all over a god damned phone call.
    Am I that bad?
    I've slowly been tearing you, I can feel it.
    I know that pretending to be okay seems right, and i know that telling people so they don't worry is what seems like needs to be done,
    But I can't pretend anymore..

    I just can't.

    I confessed my love to someone a few days ago, and got such a monotone response, I was so thoroughly shaken.
    It made me wonder, how much people really care.

    The world is a dark place, full of lies.
    How can you tell the truth?

    Riddle me that.

    --Yours truly, The Sob story sellout.

    ...Created 2010-03-22 01:34:00

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: Becoming cold.

    It's time to come clean. It hurts to much to even wake up every day.
    They say the internet is a dangerous place.
    But do they truly know how much? It's enough to ruin someone's mental status.
    Enough to drive you crazy.

    I've made way to many mistakes this past year, and I've hurt so many people.
    I know things have smoothed out for the most part, but..

    I haven't been forgivin.
    And I never will.
    I want to die.

    I'm a good person.
    Truly, I am.
    I don't think before I do things, as vertain people know.
    God how you must feel.
    Such hatred is only deserved.

    If i could change things, I would.
    If it would cost me my life to make things between us alright, I would gladly die.

    I miss you guys, you don't even have an inking of an idea.
    I've cracked, and I'm spilling out across the floor.
    I'm not asking to be taken back, to pretend everything is okay, I just want to tell you, how truly sorry I am.

    This journal most likely won't reach you, but in case it does, I can only pray that you take the time to read this and understand.

    Things are going to change.

    I'm going to become better.
    For the two of you.
    Even if you hate me forever, I will be that person that doesn't play with other's emotions, and toy with their hearts only to leave them writhing on the floor.

    I promise you this, I'm not that person anymore.
    If you read this, please understand.
    I'm sorry.

    ...Created 2010-03-22 00:56:09

    dotsJournal: Thrilleddots
    Mood: Bitches love to hate.

    Don't you just love hate mail?
    Makes me feel so important to know that people take time out of their worthless lives to tell me how much they hate me.
    Keep on at it hater's.
    Show me how important I am to you.

    ...Created 2010-03-07 16:47:42

    dotsJournal: Foreverdots
    Mood: Head over heels

    Your smile is something I long to see, reflecting in my dulling eyes. You are my muse, and therefore these words are only for you.
    You always tell me to say what my heart is feeling, and to never hold anything back.
    As of late, I had been doing just that.
    As we both know, I have done many things that would make any normal person hate me. Hell, people hate me now.
    But.. Your not a normal person.
    You make me feel so different.

    You make me want to be better.. To right the wrongs Iíve caused and make better choices in my life. Things always work out in the end. How? Itís a mystery.
    But what I do know, is I was wrong.
    I used to think that words had no power.
    I used to think words held no meaning, until I met you.
    You my dearest, have changed my life from so many miles away.

    How can I repay you?
    Thank you will never be enough.
    I donít believe it ever has.
    With the news you have received comes greatest joy I have ever felt.
    Now I can have a chance at a painless happiness.
    The world is not thy friend, nor the world's law.
    Only you, are what I see, and what I know and nothing else for love give me strength, and strength will help me through.

    But something torments me yet.
    What does our future hold?
    Am I to wander the vast waters, forever to be Viola?
    Stay by my side amour, keep my heart sane.
    For if you were to be gone, then my fate shall surely be near.
    Though last, not least in love, you are my one, you are my only.
    You are mine.

    ...Created 2010-03-03 00:57:10

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    You've returned from hell my sweet, just to see me again.
    In return I've disspelled my life for you.
    My hero, my muse, I am your.
    Je t'aime my sweetest indulgence.
    Welcome home.
    ~yours truly, Becca.

    ...Created 2010-03-01 09:50:09

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: Dead

    Emptiness has consumed me, I can't feel anything anymore.

    ...Created 2010-02-27 00:24:09

    dotsJournal: Piss offdots
    Mood: Apathetic

    Things go bad, yeah.
    So what?
    Sometimes people just aren't good for another.

    I make people hate me, because I can't deal with the thought that I might've had something.
    If you don't understand than fuck off.

    You don't know me,
    How can you?
    Its the bloody internet.
    You know what I want you to know.

    It depends on how far in you decide to read in, some people got too far, only to back off.
    You all know who you are.

    I'm not going to apologize.
    I never will.
    Apologies are just empty words, they never mean anything.

    You hate me, you hate me.
    You love me, you love me.

    Leave your business to your self and spare everyone else the drama.

    Thanks for reading my venting, :D

    ...Created 2010-02-26 18:53:50

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




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