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    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: Thinking...

    finding the giant within... a journey of self discovery and empowerment

    ...Created 2009-11-02 01:45:03

    dotsJournal: unfounddots
    Mood: Thinking...

    breathing shallow
    keeping my thoughts
    at bay
    too scared
    to admit
    you make me
    feel this way

    28 June

    ...Created 2009-07-24 03:55:02

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: Thinking...

    macy gray

    I try to say goodbye
    and I choke
    try to walk away
    and I stumble

    ...Created 2009-07-01 21:40:59

    dotsJournal: withdrawaldots
    Mood: Thinking...

    your departure

    at the wrong time

    when the nearness
    has become

    expected treasured and infinitely precious

    just as an awareness dawns
    leaving me breathless
    and secretly amazed

    that dark eyes can mesmerize

    the first days seem
    exposed and frail

    a constant reconfirming
    of your absence

    breathing is optional
    and strenuous

    a sharp pain
    when you remain
    out of reach

    a self imposed departure

    I wonder how you can so easily leave

    or are you
    with images

    illusions of my nearness
    my breath on your skin
    your hands empty
    without the promise

    as if a limb has been severed
    and the first impressions
    are those of disbelief

    three days and three nights

    dispensed in expectancy
    of a mistaken finality
    being announced

    ending as abruptly as it started

    then dawns the quiet acceptance

    that the warmth and closeness
    was not treasured enough

    there is no whisper
    no private thought
    or wistful smile
    just an ongoing absence

    and my muted


    knowing you’re gone

    ...Created 2009-06-30 05:50:57

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    sheer brilliance...
    your thinking
    and my light

    ...Created 2009-06-25 14:49:49

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: Thinking...

    it's become so tiresome... and excruciatingly painful but it remains my life and it's imperative to survive every day and to remain hopeful and full of faith...

    that there is another day dawning

    ...Created 2009-05-13 08:34:22

    dotsJournal: Checking Indots
    Mood: The Usual

    Is it really possible for time to fly by this fast... it seems like yesterday since my last journal entry but my quick calculation shows nearly nine months since my previous update. So much has happened and I am at a loss of where to start...

    Since my last update I've traveled so much... again to far off places - some well known - others too remote to even start explaining how to get there and then how to get back!!! But it's been life enriching and awe inspiring to say the least and I will try to capture some of the magic I gathered along the way.

    I spent the past six months in and out of Lagos, Nigeria and have come to love and respect this complex city and culture. It is a world of contradictions but so vibrant and alive with wonderful, friendly people and sights and sounds that you will not find anywhere else on earth... A kaleidoscope of tastes and sounds wrapped up in a constant stream of never-ending traffic chaos and street vendors.

    I've been working on a project with the national carrier and have had to deal with all the challenges Africa offers... from delays in getting launched to not being able to find the right suppliers. But it's been an amazing experience so far and I've met incredible people and friends along the way. I'm going back mid March and will probably be back and forth between Lagos and Dubai for a few months to come.

    I've also traveled to the UK a few times for business and also managed to see my sister and her family who have settled down in Yately just over a year ago. How different living in the UK is to living in South Africa or even Dubai. Very peaceful... and she's been able to even spend more time on writing - I envy the peacefulness of her surroundings but am not quite ready to give up the glitz and glamour of Dubai just yet!

    Last week I traveled to Kazakhstan to attend a meeting and was pleasantly surprised with the picture-perfect setting of Almaty... carefully cushioned between majestic snow-capped mountains with beautiful old buildings and fabulous restaurants. I had Schasslik for dinner and unfortunately did not have time to visit the ski resort but I'll be back again during March for a follow up meeting and will make sure I 'happen' to arrive over the weekend this time around.

    Other than that it's been really hectic. Dubai is becoming so incredibly busy and you can probably get stuck in traffic jams for a good 3 - 4 hours per day if you travel at the wrong time. But it stays an amazing place and I'm so happy to be part of such incredible growth. I encourage everyone to visit if you can and experience the magic of this stylish, exuberant city.

    I hope all of you have been well and writing... I've been writing quite a bit and will hopefully be able to catch up with posting and commenting on the wonderful poetry on the site.

    Stay in touch and stay well!

    ...Created 2007-03-01 07:38:29

    dotsJournal: I'm back...dots
    Mood: Hyper

    It’s been many moons (and a solar eclipse) since my last journal entry and my head is reeling with all the experiences and thoughts of the past months. I traveled to Bangkok in February for a frequent flyer conference and met some amazing people… also had the opportunity to touch base with contacts that I hadn’t seen for some time and it was so great to touch base again and catch up. It’s such a small world and especially within the airline industry – you tend to run into people at the most unexpected places and times. Bangkok was not too hot but hot enough to be unpleasant outside and I stood with one drink too many in my hand most of the time to try and focus on anything but my hair sticking to my forehead and my heels sinking into the lush lawn… that’s what you get from trying to edge as close to the garden sprayers as possible without getting noticed… I also (not surprisingly) ended up in one of the renowned lady-boy shows close to Patpong. I’m normally very switched on but it took me a while to realise the gorgeous leggy blondes were not ‘ladies’… what a spectacular, opulent, over the top show though… I still have visions of feather boas, thongs, high heels and ‘photo madam’ resounding in my ears.

    Next came ITB in Berlin… the world’s biggest travel and trade show held in March every year. Five fabulous snow filled days traipsing up and down between the different halls and meeting with clients or selling Dubai as a destination. Emirates had the most amazing stand and I felt so proud to be associated with such an aggressive and modern airline. It was my first ITB and I made the mistake of scheduling meetings in Hall 4 and then in Hall 9 and only realised too late that it’s a good 45 minute walk from the one to the other… I found the shuttle on the 2nd day and could have kissed the busdriver from sheer relief. Another dilemma was the weather… since I don’t get to see any snow in Dubai (52 C degrees in Aug) I insisted on walking in the snow whenever I could and drove all my colleagues crazy in the process… What a magical city though… I visited Berlin before the wall came down and still have a tiny piece that I picked from it at that time so now it was so weird to see Checkpoint Charlie and the small piece of the wall that is left. A lot of history around and almost tangible in the many monuments and relics that have remained unharmed or have been lovingly restored. My hotel was in the “east side” of Berlin and close to the Brandenburg monument. As usual I wish I had more time to see the sights and to take in the story of the city.

    No-one can accuse me of being biased when it comes to destinations… Next came Cannes… ahhh… the South of France… This was such an amzaing week. I attended a telecommunications loyalty conference and flew to Rome and from there to Nice. Whatever made me take a bus to Cannes I’m not sure… temporary insanity I think… I always take a taxi since it’s the easiest and quickest way (most expensive though) to get around but no… the sun was shining… the flight was on time… and I had the whole afternoon to make it to Cannes. So I waited for bus number seven and finally ended up taking hours to get to the hotel since, of course, the bus drops you off in the middle of town without a word and you are left staring at a beautiful statue and little French children playing with their dogs and staring at you as if you were some alien who dropped into their stylish little town with a huge bag and the wrong clothing. My sister lives in the UK and told me the weather in Europe is freezing… well not in Cannes… the first signs of summer arrived with me on the bus and people were showing a lot of skin and making the most of the unexpected sunshine. What a stunning city… film festival or not… it’s just so chic and "French" and steeped in history with winding cobble stone roads and a castle on a hill overlooking the bay. I had a difficult time focussing on the presentations with visions of the blue ocean across the road persistently ‘screensaving’ over my glazed eyes… Luckily I had a few hours of daylight left every afternoon and climbed to the top of the castle from every imaginable angle taking the most amazing pictures along the way. I am definitely returning to Cannes one day – don’t I always say this about the amazing places I visit??? It’s so sad that I usually don’t make it back as planned but it helps to at least dream… so I’ll keep on saying. "I’ll return one day".

    Well apart from these trips I’ve been to Bahrain and Qatar as well for quick one day meetings and am amazed at the development taking place in both countries. It’s not only Dubai who seems to be seizing the opportunity to build a dream for themselves… it’s all over the Middle East and it’s truly breathtaking. I wish everyone could experience the pace and exhilirating growth that’s taking place here. Ski Dubai opened and yes, I am skiing on real snow at -2 C and freezing my butt off in the process. Amazing stuff.

    Otherwise I’ve been really blessed at work as I’ve been assigned to a wonderful project that’s keeping me very busy and will provide a new focus in my career. I’ll keep you posted on how it’s going but in the meantime I hope to find some time to write and post and read some of the wonderful poetry on this site.

    Keep well and keep writing…

    ...Created 2006-05-08 11:26:18

    dotsJournal: Back again...dots
    Mood: Sigh...

    I was going to title this 'finally back' and noticed that's what I had previously. Don't know what's wrong lately... I just cannot find the time to write anymore and I'm really missing it.

    As usual I've been running around from place to place - mostly on work assignments - with a few weekend get-aways in between but with hardly enough time left to read and comment on the wonderful poetry on this site.
    Went to Australia for a quick trip and promised myself to go back and spend more time outside Sydney... A few days in South Africa and off to Qatar on Sunday. With Christmas in sight I'm hoping for a few peaceful days at home :-)

    Something amazing happened the other day... Paulo Coelho was in Dubai for a book signing and luckily I heard about it just in time. Stood in line for nearly three hours but it was finally my turn to shake hands with the most amazing writer of our lifetime (in my humble opinion...) and I'm now the proud owner of four autographed books. How amazing is that??!!!??!!!

    I've also managed to read a few good books lately... the latest being "The Angelspeake book of prayer and healing" written by two sisters who teach you to speak with your angels in four simple steps. I'm practising this technique now and hope for the same miraculous meetings they describe in the book. The following quote from their website is fascinating:

    " Be good to yourself every day and
    feel yourself grow in love and wisdom."

    Hope you all have the time to be good to yourselves.

    Keep writing!

    ...Created 2005-11-25 11:48:50

    dotsJournal: Finally backdots
    Mood: The Usual

    Wow... how this past month has flown by... I went back to South Africa for three weeks and cannot get over how one day just merged into the next until it felt like one endless stream of catching up, chatting, eating and driving around. I don't think I've ever flown so much in three weeks... but it was all worth it in the end. We managed to catch up with relatives and friends that we hadn't seen in over 18 months since we left South Africa to live in Dubai and it was great to touch base and catch up again. It was also exhausting... there are only so many hours in a day and in the end we still couldn't fit in everyone so I'm once again receiving hate mail with threats of never contacting us again :-) hopefully all in good humour though...

    Dubai has been steaming hot and I'm happy we missed most of August... temperatures have been around the 50 degree Celsius mark with humidity in the high 80's and 90's. Not fit for human life if you ask me. It should start cooling down now though...

    During my visit in South Africa I was introduced to the poetry of Kojo Baffoe, a brilliant South African writer and I'm sharing one of his poems from his collection of poems "voices in my head" with you:

    a thin line

    if i had you tattooed on my chest

    could i sharpen
    the blade
    of my anger
    on your face
    adding tears
    draped in red

    could i stick
    pins in you
    like a voodoo doll
    as my screams
    vibrate off
    your navel

    could i carve
    my name into your skin
    bonding us
    for eternity

    could i engrave
    my likeness
    on you pupils
    ensuring that
    your eyes
    are devoted
    solely to me

    could i lick
    your eyelids shut
    sealing them
    with my
    anger's breath

    could i scrape
    could i...

    if i had you tattooed on my chest

    Now it's back to catching up again and reading all the new and brilliant poetry that's been posted since I last checked.

    Take care and happy writing!

    ...Created 2005-09-03 11:11:28

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




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