Mood: The UsualBecause a small part of me feels like I can find you here. And, a much bigger part of me knows you are here. You are here in several different forms. Several different names. I often wondered if this was an outlet for your several personalities. A way for them to be individual. To express themselves , be heard, and then dissipate into itself. Then I realize, I was the one with the different personalities. That, this was my outlet not yours. That I had finally found a way to feel. A way to express. This blank page was the best thing that had ever happened to me. (And I have you to thank.)
Originally I wanted to write about how I felt about the.......
Whole thing. The....
You know. You know what you did. However, I fell.
...Created 2018-05-21 01:04:47
Journal: April 23, 2018 -------------------------------------------
Mood: The Usual
Should you ever wonder
Of the stars inside your soul
Look into the mirror your eyes
Reveal it all.
Should you ever wonder
If the tides will rise and fall
Look inside your wonder
it’s flowing through us all.
If the clouds inside your eyes
Decide to flood and feed your lies
Look up into the skies and find
the stars that are your guides.
As this world continues to turn
Look beyond the petty concerns
Know deep within your soul
That you are loved and with us all.
Mood: The UsualI don’t think anybody can ever mentally or physically prepare themselves for a child to enter into this world. And although my experience was the best that we tried to make it, never ever could I have ever imagined how it actually played out. My favorite memory however was of bringing our Bluetooth speaker and playing Allman Brothers and Wide Spread Panic lullaby’s while in labor.
I know call me a hippie. Fine.
I accept that, but it was wonderful.
To see all of the nurses faces as those songs were playing
during such an amazing moment.
See, I wanted those songs played not only for myself and the comfort of them. But also, because I knew my little boy would get to hear them crisp without the muffle of the ambiotic fluid. It was meant for comfort for both myself and him. It was one of a kind if you ask me.
I suppose you could say we allowed the soul to shine. ...Created 2018-04-15 02:18:29
Mood: The UsualI want to release but I don’t want to project, Where is the happy median? And with that said, why is the median the place to be? If I’m there, I’m Usually broke down and in need of serious help. So I say....... thank median for being there but I don’t want to see you right now. Why, because I know only a tow truck or some other outside force can help me. Therapy you say ........hmmmmm
I don’t conform well. ...Created 2018-04-11 01:57:41
Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.