-------------------------------------------Mood: The UsualEyes of grey--a sodden quay,
Driving rain and falling tears,
As the steamer wears to sea
In a parting storm of cheers.
Sing, for Faith and Hope are high--
None so true as you and I--
Sing the Lovers' Litany:
"Love like ours can never die!"
Eyes of black--a throbbing keel,
Milky foam to left and right;
Whispered converse near the wheel
In the brilliant tropic night.
Cross that rules the Southern Sky!
Stars that sweep and wheel and fly,
Hear the Lovers' Litany:
Love like ours can never die!"
Eyes of brown--a dusty plain
Split and parched with heat of June,
Flying hoof and tightened rein,
Hearts that beat the old, old tune.
Side by side the horses fly,
Frame we now the old reply
Of the Lovers' Litany:
"Love like ours can never die!"
Eyes of blue--the Simla Hills
Silvered with the moonlight hoar;
Pleading of the waltz that thrills,
Dies and echoes round Benmore.
"Mabel," "Officers," "Goodbye,"
Glamour, wine, and witchery--
On my soul's sincerity,
"Love like ours can never die!"
Maidens of your charity,
Pity my most luckless state.
Four times Cupid's debtor I--
Bankrupt in quadruplicate.
Yet, despite this evil case,
And a maiden showed me grace,
Four-and-forty times would I
Sing the Lovers' Litany:
"Love like ours can never die!"
Lovers Litany: Kipling.
My new favorite poem, e-v-u-r!...Created 2010-02-15 19:43:38
-------------------------------------------Mood: The UsualSadly enough I wont be able to get on alot. I'm stay after school for a while, schools back in, I'm cought up in a bunch of crap. . . And gosh, I'mma miss a lot. But, the good news is I'm staying after with my English teacher, woot woot! So I'm sure when I do get on I'll have a bunch of things to put up And well, yeah. I'm just gunna have to deal with it. ...Created 2010-02-08 08:34:32
|Journal: Had to write . |
-------------------------------------------Mood: The UsualI have found a amaranthine feeling,
one so sparkling with truth.
It's dark like magic,
and will hurt you if you get too close.
It's beauties repulsive,
it's meaning even more so.
It's the one thing everyone hates,
with out thinking about it's soul.
It's the darkness,
that peaceful bliss.
It's something filled with terror and myth.
But to me,
bless my ignorant soul.
It's so beautiful,
I want it more.
It's every color you'll ever see,
all rolled into one.
It's the silence that lets you sleep,
when your long bright day is done.
It's so wonderful it scares you away,
but to me it's a siren calling my name.
Darkness o' mine.
I was told to write a essay about one work, one thing. And me being the whiny, bitchy, lame ass Emo kid I am . . I chose the one beauty that no one else can stand! The darkness. It's the evil master that veils the boogie man, it's the force that leave you blinded with truth. It's the thing that hides so many images of beauty, you only see the un-truth of it's injustice. ...Created 2010-02-05 06:31:01
|Journal: Midnight Feelin|
-------------------------------------------Mood: The UsualHow can it feel like some one's wretched out your heart, pit on it, and tossed it away. Why do I wake up in the early morning or middle of the night crying like someones ripped my arms and legs of and set me on fire. With my pillow wet and suffocating from snot. I wake up feeling like my world has came crashing down from the needle point it's on and collided with the sun in a horrific but brilliant display of color made of my burning hopes and dreams. I dream that something bad has happened, something I can't stop or cope with. So I stand there, with a deer-in-the-head-lights look on my face, figuring that at any moment my stomach with erupt into Ulcers, that my brain with suffer from massive hemorrhaging and my lungs will finally collapse. That I'll suddenly bleed to death from every pore in my body, that my pain will take physical form. Or, that I'll simply die where I lay. I can't breath right, my lungs are filled with too much Emotion for the air to make it's way in. I can't think either, it's like everything's in over load, my vision blurs with teas, I honestly think it would be better to die at this point. Nothing really, not the bed, the room, the house, my life. Every thing's plastic and fake, I can change anything I want. So I bring my mother back, make her the way she should have been. I make it so my father never beat me before, I make my sister less annoying, then I fix myself. We can be the perfect family, see. We can fake the smiles and conversation and love, it wont take too much. . . I just crawl to the floor and sob, trying to get the pain to go away. But then there's the shame, how can I be so weak. I can't let anyone see, can't let them hear. I'm strong, I'm good, I don't have issues like the other teenagers around me . . .But I do. At times I just want to STOP feeling all of it, everything. It's too much for me. I don't have a clue how I function on daily basis, I'm so easily hurt. People upset me everyday, I feel the tears stinging in my mind but keep the smile on my face. Everything feels pre-programed into me, as if I walk, not because I want to but because I know I have to. My words, my Actions, My faith, it's all just there. I don't need to change it, it's a easy thing to do. Be as simple as you can so life doesn't get complex.At times, I get this though in my head, the thought that I'm sorta kinda maybe pretty. And I feel kinda good for a while. Maybe I'm average after all. Maybe I'm not as messed-up as I think everyone believes. Then I see a mirror and it burns, that feeling. Cause I see the lumps, and fat, and scars, and flaws. All the little details that shouldn't matter. And suddenly I feel like a beast. I over size and power nearly everyone I meet, I'm too rough to really be girly. . . I'll never be a lady. But that doesn't, wouldn't bother me. If it wasn't for the fact that if I'm not pretty -------- So I stand there, shivering in my skin, thinking about getting a iron, heating it up. Cutting it all away, all the fat . . . Right down to the bone. Then burning it closed, I don't want to die. I just don't want to feel this way. And maybe it's not my skin that the problem, but for now it seems that way. And as the morning lights begin to break, and the street lights fade out. As my father grunts and gets up. I slip silently back to my bed and think about it. I look at my arms, and feel the tears but can't cry now. And I go back to all the stupid ass stuff I've done, wishing I could change that too. I've tried to talk, attempted to Trust. But how can I trust anyone. Jeff's only been with me for ten months now, it doesn't warrant my complete trust. My mother . . . How can I ever trust her. My Aunt wouldn't understand this, she thinks I"m semi-normal anyways. My father. . . He'd say suck it up and get on with life, he's had worse. And then finally, with troubles still running in my head, I force myself to sleep. I'll take a pill later if needed. ...Created 2010-01-18 06:56:40
-------------------------------------------Mood: The UsualSadly enough, all the people, the writing, the meaning of ES that I have so fondly loved is fading away from it. The people are lack-luster now, or so it seems to me. The spirit that once thrived of union is now gone. Click's and such have taken over, too much bitterness for any real friendship. All the people who once inspired me now have no effect for my writing. This is more a problem with me than them I presume, I'm the one chaning, or maybe it's a little of both. I need a good vent about my life right now. So . . . Here goes.
Dad: What's rong with you.
Me: . .
Dad: Your so messed up, do you want me to send you away.
In my head I keep turning that over. Maybe I do want to be sent away. I want to start fresh, to escape the havoc that has been set down before me. I've lost all control over anything and everything except the way I view and feel about it. And even then it's hard. My emotions run rampid. I'm finding myself more and more in my head, less and less in the real world. I even feel guility for the way I act around Jeff. Parts of me want to just sit in his arms and let him hold me, other parts are much too proud to let that happen. I'm trapped between caving and going insane for a few moments to release it. . . . ...Created 2010-01-17 20:40:28
-------------------------------------------Mood: The UsualThis story starts where all stories start I guess- In the beginning. But before we go there, you need to know a few things about Iona. Or at the very least itís past.
Iona was at one point a wild and unexplored land, un-known to Humans, Elves, Yians, and Mystics. It was a large land surrounded by water and filled with fairly over sized plants. And a strange, large, magical beast, extinct everywhere else on the face of Earth, the Dragon. They were abundant, lively, and filled with spirit. Roaming the land with wings or claws, enjoying the freedom of their care free, danger-less lives. They grew and ruled under a matriarch style of life. Seeing as how most Dragons hatched were female due to the warmer climate of the land. The few males that were born were breed of the mountains. Now, Dragons are very strange creatures already but to add on to all the known beastly types there was one small, quiet, intelligent breed called the Inklings. They were rare! But we shall learn of them later on in our story. We are to start off long after the time of Dragons, long after the discovery and conolization of the land. In a time when the Dragons were thought to be dead, even the Inklings . . .
Our story starts when a small group of four children were born on the same day. Four children of the four races. This is the very story they live and breathe . .
In the beginning there was the birth of the first, Serendipity. She was an Elf child, born of love, magic, and time. For you see, it takes many years for an Elf to develop in the womb. Then came Alexander. He was more or less grown in a tube, his birth marked a day for Humanity, the day they learned and perfected the art of cloning. After it was the birth of Constantia, a Yian child. She was hatched at mid day, an unusual birth for her kind. Considering that most were hatched at midnight or early morning. And lastly, but certainly not least was the birth of Storm, a Mystic child.
Storm was brought into the world wailing at the top of her lungs and strong lungs they were. The dark purple of her skin tinted a black color with blood, overly large blue eyes barely opened. The dark blue speckled with neon blue in her eyes a prime example of the mystic blood that coursed through her veins. She writhed and wailed more and more, a loud child for the start. ...Created 2010-01-13 10:41:11
-------------------------------------------Mood: The UsualI was on 'Failbook' and saw this:
Edward: Damn, nothing to do today.
Jasper: Where's Bella?
Edward: She's on her Peroid. . .
Emmette: Sucks to be you
Bella: Umm, you mind not telling everyone I'm on my peroid, thanks.
Edward: Why not? It's true.
Bella: Well, I don't go around teeling everyone you sparkle. Or that you wont fuck my brains out even though I'm more than will. Your not a Vampire. Your a fairy. A sparkling princess bitch.
Jasper: . . .
Emmette: F YOUR LIFE!!!
I got a hoot out of that!...Created 2010-01-08 06:35:19
-------------------------------------------Mood: The UsualI want Jeff. Not as in 'I want to fuck' Jeff. But as in I want to cuddle up in his lap, curl up and put my head on his chest and spend the rest of eternity listing to his heart beat. The only music I craved is our hearts beating together, the only feeling I want is the feeling of his arms wrapped about me. I want to play with his hair, 'cause that's the funnest thing I can do, I want to smell his scent. Cause he smells amazing. I want to be warmed by him, cause I've over here freezing. But the reason I want all this for, the topper to many reasons, is the fact that he means everything to me. I think more about his daily life than I do my own, I spend more time worrying about his future than mine. And I spend more time talking to him than anyone else I know. He is my life....Created 2009-12-30 06:05:31
-------------------------------------------Mood: The UsualOkay, a rant for me to hand out to alot of people to read and laugh at....
I was in my car, listening to music on the way to the movies, when I started thinking. I've had a horid life and I've let it hold me back. I have a problem with depression, that no one can cure! So why am I always sitting around waiting for someone to help me be happy?!?!?!?!? Why do I do it, I'll tell you why. Because, though my life has been so emotionaly, physicaly, and mentaly shit . . . I've never had to work for a damn thing I own! I look at all the things I have and think nothing of it. I have three computers, a giant TV, a large room to my self, a twin size bed all my own, my own TV tray to eat off of, my own clothing that's not ben used by anyone else (Most of the time.), and to top it all off, I have a fairly nice house!!!! I'm living the dream!!!! But, then I though about it more, though about why this stuff doesn't amke me happy. And you wanna know why it doesn't? you aure you want to . . . . Because here's why! I'm not happy with my life because I wasn't built by god to handle the life I've been dealt! If I was born back when in the 1800's in America, oh-dear-lordy! I'd be fine. I could live like the indians did, I could make it in a so called 'savage' world. Because back then . . .That wasn't savage. People lead coushined lives today, hunting with bullets and cross bows and safety stuff! We live in air-conditioned houses, with Tv's and Microwaves! Now, don't get me wrong. Take away my Stero and I'd be pretty damned pissed. But I wish it wasn't so. A fairly large part of me has always been in nature, even as a little girl. When my daddy beat me, or my moma didn't feed me, you know where I went? I went to the forest, I sat by the river, I ate wild berries. If I had known how to, I'd have made a tent and stayed out there. I don't fear nature. The animals aren't ment to harm us, now if they hunt you, it's humanities fault! We built on THEIR land. We contuie to do that, build on lands, destroy forests, burn tree's. Only to build houses, the saddest part of that is the fact that we have tons and tons of empty houses, mansions! We have Mansions selling on the market, but you turn the street and you see homeless people gathered by a trash can!!!! I'm jsut thinking, for so long now. I've been wanting to go back out to the forest . . I haven't been allowed out of the house in forever, and I cry because my heart aches to run out there in the cold night air and taste the wild on my tongue. I need the forest, I need the sounds, I need to hear the wild animals cry out while they hunt their prey! I miss the sound of the streem trickling from far away, I regret not smelling the winter snow coming down from the heavens or seeing the leaves slowly age, fade, and fall. I'm home sick for the wild side I always had you migth say . . . But the thing I miss most out of all of this . . . . The little patch of moss that grew on a rock in the middle of a stream, the rock was big enough for me to lay across it. . . . I miss laying down on it, stareing into the night sky, and counting the endless vast of stars . . Because these stupid city lights are drowing my star light out . . . ...Created 2009-12-25 20:23:58
|Journal: Thoroughly upset|
-------------------------------------------Mood: The UsualMaybe I'm just a little tender hearted. But yeah, it's upsetting when people argue about who said you were blinded by love first. Yeah, I'mma little blinded, because I have a feeling that I don't have to look at, see, and understand all the things that would upset me. It's a ignorance is bliss thing. I like it, I like not having to deal with issues as much as I used to, not other peoples anyways. And I'm pretty sure anyone who knows me can say that I deal with enough as it is. So if I'm blinded by love, than I'm just fucking happy as hell that way. And that's my vent on that topic, now back to what I should be saying!
Friendships a wonderful thing to have, because friends are like family! An you have three families: the one's your Born into, the ones you marry into, and the ones you grow into. ...Created 2009-12-24 10:13:33
Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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