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    poetry


    dotsJournal: ...dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Sick

    Invitation by Shel Silverstein

    If you are a dreamer, come in,
    If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar
    A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer...
    If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire
    For we have some flax-golden tales to spin.
    Come in!
    Come in!

    ...Created 2008-02-20 16:15:32

    dotsJournal: Newsdots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Relaxing

    On Keeper, that is.

    The two-legged, one-pawed wolf that follows him around is named Chelal Zev, directly translated to mean 'night wolf'. He hobbles around like a kangaroo and uses his tail to balance when he needs it. No one really knows how, or why he doesn't have his other from paw, but it doesn't seem to prevent him from doing much. He has a bit of a broken smile, and his mouth always seems to drip with some sort of black, sticky goo. His tail, which seems to grow much quicker than his body and can be retracted, almost like a claw, has a full length that's easily long enough to wrap around things to pick them up. Or suffocate them. Either way.

    Chelal is by far Keeper's most beloved little pet. This wolf is like a dangerous little dog, always there to lick Keeper's hand or let him pat his head. He's loyal and more likely to stay wherever Keeper is than go along with the rest of the group. Even though the two of them work on completely different schedules, from completely different places, Keeper has developed an obvious fondness for the creature and would probably do more that necessary to keep him close.

    The little toy rabbit is named Shophan, meaning rabbit. I can't remember what I had on her... More on that later.

    ...Created 2008-01-21 12:15:56

    dotsJournal: Lifedots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Confused

    ..is slowly coming back to normal.

    Yes, I'm alive.

    That says nothing about my sanity, however.


    ---


    There's this new guy in my head. Keeper. Keeper is a nightmare. Keeper brought things into this world that could scare the living daylights out of you if they so chose.

    I'm currently blaming him for the bad dreams. It's a great way to cope, really. I can wake up and tell myself it's just Keeper playing with my head. He's got a little army of nightmares that bend to his every whim now. A two-legged wolf with midnight-black fur and a tail that could suffocate you, a stuffed-but-really-alive rabbit whose eyes were plucked out and teeth were made sharper, a faceless, skinny man in an old fashioned purple suit, and a hooded toddler with black eyes and a bloody gag in her mouth.

    Then there's always the usual subjects, the not-so-scary-anymore little creatures that seem to pop up everywhere. Like spiders and bats and vampires and bugs.

    But where the dreams are taking place... That's sort of freaky.

    Like an old, dusty parking garage with marionettes hanging twisted from the ceiling, or a field, with nowhere to hide, being chased by something that's impossible to outrun. A cell, whose walls slowly move in every time you breathe. A prison, with whitewashed walls and pitch black corners. A forest, being followed by someone you thought you trusted.

    A single, featureless room, tied to a chair, with a single drop of water drip, dripping onto your head every so often.

    I completely blame Keeper.

    ...Created 2008-01-05 08:21:39

    dotsJournal: Rantdots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Pretty much numb

    [rant] (Skip down a bit if you don't want to read it.)

    I'm not seven years old. I'm not asking for you to come save me. You're two years older than me, not ten, not twenty.

    I never, never asked for your help like that. I don't need your hand to guide me every step of the way. I'm not as dumb as you think, and you're certainly not that much smarter than I am.

    I know I'm not alone. Stop pretending like I'm your good deed for the day. You can't make up for where you tripped by trying to lead me around potholes I already saw.

    The anger doesn't just disappear. Emotions don't just disappear. You can't expect me to come back to you with open arms after you've called me every name under the sun.

    I am NOT a bitch.

    I am NOT perfect.

    I'm twelve years old, going on thirteen, and I'm scared as heck about some of the things you tell me. I don't tell you everything, I probably never have and never will.

    I have friends for that.

    And you used to be a friend. You probably still are, in some corner of my mind. But you lost the priviledge of being referred to as a friend around other people when you told me to fuck off and never talk to you again.

    And you know what? That really, really hurt. Because every time I come after you, I'm always 'too late' or 'not interested enough' or (and I know this is your favourite) I seem like I don't care.

    You always told me you hated it when I assumed things about you, and yet you did it all the time to me. You call me a hypocrite, still, you're the biggest one I know. You called yourself a jerk and told me I shouldn't put up with you, but you reminded me constantly that I was a whiny, self-centered, ungrateful brat who lied to you all the time. So it's okay for you to have flaws and not me?

    I apologized millions of times and prayed each and every time that I could find the strength to mean it. I tried getting you to tell me about your day and you never would because apparently, I'd never listen anyway. In your eyes, I didn't care, and when I did, it wasn't enough. I asked you what I'd done wrong and you'd never tell me. Don't I deserve at least that?

    We'd argue and you'd come back the next day acting as if nothing had happened. I was miserable. You told me to stop being so self-pitying. But what you'd said the day before always hurt just a little bit more than the last time. Wasn't that what you wanted?

    [/rant]

    Christmas was great, thanks. Some of the highlights include a Wacom tablet, Photoshop (finally!), a silver 4gb iPod Nano, David Almond's Secret Heart, Iain Lawrence's Ghost Boy, Tony Abbott's Firegirl, the entire Nightside series, the His Dark Materials trilogy, an easel with a new set of paint and pastels, a new wooden manikin, a hat and tie, Turtles, gift certificates, mittens, chocolates, and a whole load of CDs which I will now proceed to list:

    Yellowcard - Paper Walls
    Three Days Grace - One X
    Big Shiny Tunes 12
    MuchDance 2008
    The Used - In Love and Death
    AFI - Sing the Sorrow
    Blaqk Audio - Cexcells
    30 Seconds to Mars - 30 Seconds to Mars
    DTox Mix CD

    As you might've guessed, I'm very happy. Boxing Day shopping brought me an insane amount of clothes, so I'm not worried about not having anything left to wear by the time break's over.

    Oh, and yeah. My friends and family did very very well this year. I'm expecting nothing come May 19th. x.x

    ...Created 2007-12-30 15:32:37

    dotsJournal: ...dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Spooked

    Sorry. I just needed something to take the space of the crud that is my last journal entry.

    Soon you'll be seeing something worth reading about. I hope.

    I'd write more, but..

    Dude, my hand hurts. Bug off. I don't want to talk to you.

    Anyway.

    Adjustment to the new school is going just pleasantly. Everything outside of that is not going just pleasantly.

    Going to go RP now. TTFN, kiddies.

    http://www.eliteskills.com/rp/entry/6965

    http://www.incipience.proboards91.com

    http://www.freewebs.com/missdarkesshimoko

    http://underdebate.deviantart.com

    ...Created 2007-12-18 16:31:56

    dotsJournal: ...dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: About ready to implode.

    Okay, here we go:

    On Thursday, we had an ice day. No buses because the roads were too icy to drive on, so I stayed home and took pictures of the snow. At 5, I had music lessons, and my guitarist and I got to practice the song we'll be playing at our next concert.

    Which is the 30th, by the way. Wish me luck. We're playing Through Glass by Stone Sour. I'm singing. x.x

    It was also his birthday, so I bought him candy. Think he was surprised.

    Last night, we (me, Brianne, Emily, and Alaina) went to the movies. Bri came over earlier to smear makeup on my eyes and blast music from her new speaker system. We picked up Alaina, and Emily got a drive with Helen. Helen was supposed to come, but stuff happened and she couldn't. (o.O')

    Anyway, the point of that was... Omg August Rush. If you've never heard of it, I suggest you go Google it ASAP. It was amazing. Probably the most beautiful movie I've ever seen. It's something ridiculous like PG, so it's a kids movie, but I loved it.

    Anyway, I have to go help out at a funeral in half an hour, I need to eat breakfast, and somehow remove this bloody eyeshadow from my face. Toodles.

    (Listening to: Sympathy - Goo Goo Dolls)
    (Reading: Freaky Green Eyes - Joyce Carol Oates)
    (Watching: Jason acting like an idiot.)

    ...Created 2007-11-24 07:56:29

    dotsJournal: ...dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Overwhelmed

    http://www.eliteskills.com/rp/entry/6965

    Come play.

    ---

    In other news...

    (^ That's my line now. Remember it.)

    I'm switching schools today. AGAIN. Okay, so after summer break, I went to AS, and that was fun... Oh yeah, I miss everyone there already. But Friday was my last day there and now today, in about an hour, I'll be at CB and OH EM GEE I'm scared.

    Naw. Not really.

    I have, like, one friend there. And that's a good thing. But, um... Oh? You know what's sorta cool? School doesn't start there until 9:05. I don't have to get up until, like, half an hour after when I would've been leaving for my old school.

    Fun fun.

    I'm in a craptastic mood right now. Like, I want to write soooo badly, but I've got too many other things on my mind. Hence, the song blaring from my speakers is 'Hum Hallelujah' by Fall Out Boy.

    "The road outside my house
    Is paved with good intentions
    Hired a construction crew
    Cause it's hell on the engine"

    ..and then..

    "So hum hallelujah
    Just off the key of reason
    I thought I loved you
    But it was just how you looked in the light
    A teenage vow in a parking lot
    Til tonight do us part
    I sing the blues
    And swallow them too"

    Oh how I love smiling sarcastic songs in the morning. FOB, I think I like you more for your 'could care less' attitude than your emo-ness.

    Onto some hard rock now, then.

    Toodles, peoples. I have to go prepare myself to face the outside world again.

    ...Created 2007-11-19 07:01:49

    dotsJournal: ...dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Sad

    Lest we forget.


    Sunday, November 11th

    --

    Remembrance Day 2007

    ...Created 2007-11-09 20:09:57

    dotsJournal: ...dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Studying

    I think the internet's out to get me.

    See, if life can't bother me, my computer will. -.-

    Have you ever had something freaky happen? Something that just scares the heck out of you and makes you run to the window to make sure it hasn't started raining meteors?

    Um, yeah. One of the sites I frequent changed its layout.

    So here's me, sitting at my computer, la dee da, reading a chapter of a story... Oh, look, we're at the end! Click 'Next'. That's all I have to do to get to the next chapter. And so I click, and the screen goes from a dashing mix of blacks and pinks to... Brown. Light brown. And gold.

    I jumped a bit. I though my computer had a bug.

    I refreshed the page at least five times, clicked the back button just as many, and checked the front page for updates. And it was just like... Woah. I've been visiting this site for about a year now, and seeing the quite obvious change is just a bit freaky. It's throwing off my funk, to say the least.

    Haha, Jessica has become defunkified. She is funkless.

    In other news... Youtube. OMG. Please, all you humour-loving people, check out 'Jade vs. his hair'. See, the guitarist of one of my favourite bands, AFI, has emo hair. Really emo hair. But not the kind that looks cool in front of one eye, unfortunately. So he's constantly bending over and brushing it out of his face. And the entire video is clips of him doing so, set to cheesy music, usually only while he's sitting in the background while Davey, the singer, prattles on about one thing or another. It's funny.

    ...Created 2007-10-18 21:17:05

    dotsJournal: ...dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Dead and zoned out

    I just got a deviantART page.

    http://underdebate.deviantart.com

    [/shameless ad]

    First submission... "Okay, I should probably submit something soon. I want to be able to say I actually exist, right?"

    I get to the submission page. "Okay, that's cool. A bit complicated, but that's cool."

    I try to submit a doodle, just to see how it works.

    It doesn't load.

    I give up and come back a week later to try and submit my introduction to Elliot.

    "Error: Incorrect file type. We only support text or html documents for the category you specified."

    "Okay, fine. I'll copy and paste."

    Twenty minutes later, I've figured out the correct file type.

    "Preview image optional. Would you like to submit a preview image?"

    Another twenty minutes later, I've made a preview image and figured out its correct file type.

    Ten minutes after that, I've fitted the two together so they work properly.

    OMG. One hour submitting a deviation!

    I probably won't do that again.

    Found a new RP partner- woot for me- and a speech topic for the public speaking competition every school has every year.

    Synesthesia. I'm a dork.

    I'm too tired to write more. You might see a new submission by tomorrow.

    Provided by Debi:

    Okay, exams are over, and now I'm going to do what every college student does best:

    DRINK LIKE A FISH!!! :D

    *coughs* Erm, I mean, study. Yeah, yeah, study.

    (Don't give me any lectures on that, plz. ><)

    ...Created 2007-10-15 19:11:45

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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