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dotsJournal: ...dots
Mood: Ruined

This day was ruined...and I'm considering bringing this site down...because everyone's too busy to look up on this and I'm too busy to update...
maybe i'll keep it up and update more often at school...whenever that starts again?

...Created 2006-06-13 17:36:00

dotsJournal: Heydots
Mood: happy as mother fucking hell

So this kid ticked me off and he's getting his ass cursed to the ice age. My friend got a hickie and now I want one cuz I want to make out for hours on end...maybe I should find a girl to do it with dude....that would be hot...

um I'll fill you in later

Paco the happy annoying Poet of Arson

...Created 2006-05-17 12:40:06

dotsJournal: Boreddots
Mood: At War

Bored as HELL, when do I get my car back?

...Created 2006-05-05 11:54:58

dotsJournal: Hehdots
Mood: Frustrated

I thought I was happy for a second there, but it was a fluke...heh I knew it would be...but I can hope can't I

...Created 2006-05-04 10:30:33

dotsJournal: .....dots
Mood: Sniffle...

hah, yeah like I can be free? I'm dying in this hell...there's nothing anyone can do to fix it. Time is the only cure for the disease of family....two years left...and counting.

...Created 2006-04-27 10:23:01

dotsJournal: Medots
Mood: At War

The Fire in me is stiring again, it has something to do with the heat. I'm starting to be me again. That suppressed kid is strong though, that side of me doesn't want to let go and be who I really am. I'm still afraid, but I have to be strong for my friends. I can't let the tears fall anymore, I need to be strong....

I need to be, for them

...Created 2006-04-17 12:19:12

dotsJournal: If I could...dots
Mood: Angry

If I could burn something
I would
If I could destroy this damn town
I would
If I could give them pain
I would
If I could remove all my pain
I would
If I could start a fire with my hands
I would burn
If I had the strength to run myself into a car
Yes, I would

But I don't
so I deal with it the best way I know how.....avoiding it

...Created 2006-03-22 13:33:31

dotsJournal: Headachedots
Mood: Angry

Super headache right now, pissed as hell for no reason. Wanting desperately just to run away. Dad's home for the rest of the week, and that's adding to it. I want to talk to a guy friend. No one has time. Everyone's pissed. I just want to curse something.....Head hurts like hell! six damn tylenol and still a huge headache! Power Power Power Power Power that's what I desire. I need a vision....

...Created 2006-03-21 13:21:38

dotsJournal: Deathdots
Mood: Straightening things out...

Death has a way of making you happy. Not waiting for it in you but waiting for those who hurt you to die. It seems to uplift your mood, or am I just weird? Stuff happened, but I will this war.....

...Created 2006-02-27 13:38:44

dotsJournal: So Death Callsdots
Mood: Frustrated

I'm writing this from my house, which is rare because I usually eliteskills at school. And the real reason is that I just need to let this all out, becuase most of the time writing makes a good outlet. It's just so hard to progress as my parents try to stifle me. I'm free but in a trapped world, and I will never be truly free until I get out of here, out of this life, and out of this family. But still! Why does he bother trying with me? Doesn't he realize I hate him!? I don't understand, isn't a person supposed to go away when you push them? Is he that imperceptive, or oblivious. Why does he ruin my already crappy life by coming here! I HATE HIM, with ever fiber of my being. With ever blast of energy held in my soul, I despise him. Doesn't he realize it's his fault I'm like this? I want to be ME! I want to be ME, not his son! I WANT TO BE ME! SO LET ME BE ME AND GO AWAY DAD, BECAUSE I HATE YOU I WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE!

JUST LET ME BE YOU BASTARD FATHER, and so you drive me closer to death. As my friends drive me closer to salvation, they're doing the job that you were supposed to, so you can go rot in Hell.

...Created 2006-02-24 21:24:58