 Journal: Why?
-------------------------------------------Mood: Depressedok..today started off as a pretty good day...and stayed that way until like ten minutes ago.. I was talking to Jayme and I asked her a simple question.. "How do you view me, Jayme?" and you know what she said..? "as a guy who know what he wants (me) and that would treat her like a princess, and how a girl should be treated."... and then I asked "So I'm just a guy to you? Nothing more than just a guy?" ( I know..i get dramatic..) and she didn't answer. then after a few minutes..she quickly announced that she had to go...which I can understand because 9 pm is her curfew..but i don't get why she didn't answer my question... I'm kinda bummed now cuz I think of her as so much more than "The girl that I would treat like princess." well, i would treat her like a princess, don't get me wrong..But she's more than that to me..she's who i want to hold every day, she's who I dream about every night, she's who I view as my girlfriend...and I definitly would like to keep her around for a long time..She's so great.. I mean..come on.. I write poetry for her! Maybe she just "wants" me, and that's it..nothing more, end of story... I don't like to think that though..but it does cross my mind..and when it does I get bummed...and we have awesome conversations..we can talk for a long time.... which is something that I have struggled with a lot in the past.... aaaahhhh...i'm so frustrated and bummed out....I don't know whether to cry and say "it'll be ok tomorrow..I'll work it out then..." or just to go to bed and forget about it..after all, she did have to go....she just didn't have time to answer me.. but would i be lying to myself if i chose the later one? I know i'm being so dramatic, but i don't care...this is a big deal to me..cuz I hardly ever get bummed out.....I don't know.. maybe I should sleep on it and just ask her about it tomorrow night when I talk to her again..the only way to work it out is to talk to her about it....then I'll know for sure.. yeah.. I'm gonna do that..I hope I'll be able to sleep.. all this drama! I feel like a teenage girl in high school! oh well...I'll just have to wait and see what she says......Created 2004-09-14 23:33:45 |
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And since Jayme is three hours behind me, this works out perfect. I can stay up and talk to her and still get plenty of sleep.. I'm off tomorrow, so i'm gonna sleep all day..or at least until lunch. Then i'll find something to do while i wait nine hours to talk to Jayme again. I count the hours until I can talk to her again. I talk to her in about 20 hours....haha..i know.. it's pathetic isn't it...i have nothing better to do than count the hours until i get to talk to the most beautiful person in the universe....well, at least to me she is..and i don't care what anyone else says..yeah.. anyways..i'm going to go do something constructive for once...then I'll go to bed...maybe..L8R....Created 2004-09-13 00:09:57