Journal: Breath in -------------------------------------------
Mood: Too much at once...He turned and made his way back down the pathway. Here was a crack, there a rock missing, dead patches of grass all along the pathway. Neglected. The house looked even worse. The porch looked like an accident that was waiting to happen. The steps creaked more than it should, the poles were loose… More than once Lee-Anne stumbled over an exposed nail. Once she almost fell all the way down the stairs. Luckily she got hold of the railing that, thank God, did not topple down the stairs with her. Michael opened the swing door, if you could still call it that; it was hanging by one hinge only. He closed the front door with a bit of effort. The untreated wooden door got wet at the bottom when there was a flood in the neighbourhood. The door was now a bit too big for the frame. No time to get a new one. Mostly no desire.
Inside, the house was alive and inviting.
The days are starting to get shorter. To some it seemed as though there was not enough hours to get their things done. I wonder if that is what it's like for New York. Or is it just in this third world country of ours that life stops at 17:00 and continues again at 08:00?
Outside in the garden the Jacaranda is starting to lose its leaves. The grass is covered by a cloak of brown. It rustles beneath your feet. The sound is like the crackle of dry bush burning, but without the spitting. Most of the flowers are just dry stems, a total contrast to the vibrant colours that hugged the porch not too long ago. The only thing still holding onto the green, barely, is the fine fern along the fence. The world outside the gate seems more dead than the garden. It’s only 17:30, but not a soul is insight. A stray crosses the street not too far from him. It has seen him, but only lets him know by doing that thing that dogs do. Look past you, but actually at you, like they do not wish to make eye contact, almost as if they are embarrassed. Strange creatures, man’s best friend. For Michael, the only friends he did have. Most of the time.
Mood: AngryWhere has the year gone... And my youth keeps slipping away!!!!
I started this journal almost a month ago. Initially it was because I started to forget so many things. Where I put my face cloth; where I parked the car; why I didn't wash the dishes... Strangest was when I found an empty bottle of wine and two glasses... I don't remember Lee-Anne coming by. I've also been having these terrible headaches; I'm constantly tired.
But now I continue writing because I have to. This is the only part of me that still seems real; that is not detached; separated like the rest.
Today my sheets were covered in blood again. I had a nose bleed. Cut myself at work too, with a Stanley knife as I was opening a caustic bag. Cut towards myself and not like the safety rep rambles in the annual induction "away from the body, people. Always."
Or I don't know. This might not be true either. Truth is, I don't remember.
Lee-Anne is the only truth. This journal too.
Today is 12 May 1998. My name is Michael.
Mom and dad are dead.
Been marking exam papers!!!!! Started with Geography gr10 yesterday!!! Done with the first load. Hmmmm. Not to good. Don't know what's happening in the schools these days.
Not been writing at all. Busy doing research for my first EVER adventure novel!!!!! Made a deal that I will finish before I am 30, or I'll leave it all!!!! So, I've been busy busy!!!!! I want to write a credible story - lots of facts combined with my mischievous/creative/twisted side.
So far, so really good. It's like divine intervention. Some how all the things I want to have in the book, is just fitting nicely with the facts or what has been documented!!!!
Enuff about that. I've been praying and asking the Lord to guide and help me with this.
Make it happen!!!!!
Chalice of Malice coming soon!...Created 2007-08-07 02:52:53
Yip. So the wall flies straignt into the bird.
Didn't even see it coming. Boof!!! Slam!! That was it. Enuff to get just a bit of a clue.
Wake up!!! Wake up!!!
Life is here and wishes to make a withdrawal.
I haven't laughed like this in years!!! Not really. Unabashedly - they said I have a k@k laugh - for those that don't understand the word k@k - SH!TTY!!!! But I care less and soon not at all. I haven't laughed like this in a really long time.
Mood: Thinking...It's been a hectic 2007!!! That with the studies and being home again after so long. My birthday is coming up again and I hope I don't end up in hospital again due to stress related issues. For the past two years I've ended up in hospital just right before or right after my birthday. Suppose to be a happy day, but it's usually not.
But Cape Town is great. Just very hot and windy. If I hate anything about nature it's the strong winds.
only two more months left in Cape Town and I have to go back home and back to WORK!!!!!!! Gonna start builging my OWN home too. Mine and the bank's that is.
I will try and work on some new stuff. I still have to do my seven and the series on the Daughters of Venus. Perhaps I should just forget about it and focus on something entirely new.
Schweeet....Created 2007-04-03 01:22:51
Journal: Monday Blues -------------------------------------------
Mood: Sigh...Oh sweety why did you have to leave?
I was hoping there would be more time for us to weave
Was I really just another kiss?
Someone you would never miss?
The Monday Blues has got me bad
I miss P and my heart is sad
Do I have to further endure
Or will you take me to further explore
My last week at work. Luckily only working till Thursday.
Mood: Yeay!!Thank God it's Friday. Sat up till past 12 last night with my uncle and aunt chatting about the interesting life changing experiences they have had.
Working on the "Daughters of Venus" series. All types of woman I have encountered and had a not so good over all experience with. All beautiful and attractive in their own way, but we were just never compatible. It's not meant to be taken seriously... after that will follow "Son of Mar" and yes, Mar not Mars - Ruin. In these I will investigate my'self and see what it is that I do wrong for these things to end up in disaster. This information will solely be based on what I think I did wrong, since a trait of these woman is that they do not share anything... they are quite quick to give you there so called advice though. then they nag that you are not open towards them, but ask them a personal question and they either avoid it, or throw it back at you. Nuff.