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    poetry


    dotsJournal: /////dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: /////

    are you going to
    hold me over your head
    like a trophy?
    would this be enough of a memory?
    would you be satisfied turning and walking?

    im always waiting
    for a fist in a wall

    the other shoe to drop

    after being thrown

    im used to a violent home.

    im used to staring down at the carpet
    with my jaw locked tight
    as im forcibly being pried open

    im used to relentless pursuit
    constant hammering questions
    that rattle off my brow
    that peek over the blanket i cant get up from

    i am used to thinking i am crazy.
    afraid of confrontation
    but only safe in a strong offense

    i never stood a chance

    standing still as different people
    orbit through my life in their seasons


    never getting too close

    “you /never/ say yes to them,” my mother tells me.

    i want to say yes to you.
    it’s just,
    not what i’m used to.

    ...Created 2017-10-18 11:15:50

    dotsJournal: /////dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: /////

    im worried about us

    our potential

    ...Created 2017-02-28 22:01:43

    dotsJournal: /////dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: /////



    i woke up crying
    you held me close and assured me
    that everything was okay

    and all i could hear
    was your heart beating

    i was thankful

    ...Created 2017-02-25 12:45:33

    dotsJournal: /////dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: /////

    do i have your attention, boy?
    you're about to see something wonderful

    ...Created 2017-02-23 22:25:06

    dotsJournal: /////dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: /////

    im strung out and tired and nobody cares

    ...Created 2017-02-23 15:35:59

    dotsJournal: /////dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: /////

    now i just fear you from a distance

    how did my life unravel like this
    i cant even get my desk organized

    fuck you! just, fuck you!

    ...Created 2017-01-08 22:15:26

    dotsJournal: /////dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: /////

    i sometimes forget about this place
    my safety net


    where i can be open and honest.
    where i choose not to be, still.


    but still.
    more honest than most times.

    ...Created 2016-05-04 23:39:54

    dotsJournal: /////dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: /////

    after a while of using my hands
    they and my wrists get sore


    sometimes its the deep aching
    but usually it feels like

    there is glass
    inside the muscles and tendons

    and then it is hard to coordinate.


    theres a lot wrong and i dont
    like to publicly say it.
    everybody is so nosey and catty.

    ...Created 2016-04-16 04:20:07

    dotsJournal: /////dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: /////

    i am this ever exploding
    and imploding star


    craving social interaction one moment
    shutting down the next


    except i havent felt
    the signs of decline
    for a long long time

    which is getting worrisome

    ...Created 2016-04-12 05:59:28

    dotsJournal: /////dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: /////

    isnt that a particularly ES
    type of threat?
    'i could crush you'?

    i meant-- well, nevermind.


    really it's quite like
    "i'm leaving" or "i'm taking a break"
    yah. ok.
    that was soooo 2010,
    get with the times, honestly.

    ...Created 2016-04-05 04:35:58

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

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