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dotsJournal: angry. dots
Mood: Sniffle...

Why can I NOT SLEEP?

I am so frustrated with all of these stupid health problems.

...Created 2007-08-15 03:07:57

dotsJournal: The Figsdots
Mood: Overwhelmed

"...I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story.
From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out.
I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet."

~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 7

...Created 2007-07-23 23:38:49

dotsJournal: Frustrateddots
Mood: Frustrated

This whole Life thing is really getting to me!

It is extraordinary
while being tragic at the exact same time.

Do you know what I mean?

...Created 2007-07-15 10:29:12

dotsJournal: The Flowersdots
Mood: The Usual

"The Flowers" by REginaSPEKTor

The flowers you gave me are rotting and still I refuse to throw them away.
Some of the bulbs never opened quite fully
They might so I'm waiting and staying awake.
Things I have loved I'm allowed to keep
I'll never know if I go to sleep.

The papers around me are piling and twisting regina the paper back mummy
what then.

I'm taking the knife to the books that I own and chopping and chopping and boiling soup from stone.

Things I have loved I'm allowed to keep.
I'll never know if I go to sleep.
Things I have loved I'm allowed to keep.
I'll never know if I go to sleep.

175 posts.
Oh Dear.

It may be time to Reevaluate my life.

...Created 2007-07-08 22:51:56

dotsJournal: Waste of Paintdots
Mood: The Usual

My head feels weak
and suddenly
it's clear to see
it's not them but me,
who has lost my self-identity.
As I hide behind
these books I read,
while scribbling
my poetry,
like art could save a wretch like me,
with some ideal ideology
that no one can hope to achieve.
And I am never real;
it is just a sketch in me.
And everything I made is trite
and cheap
and a waste
of paint,
of tape,
of time.


Like, yeah.
Like, whoa.

...Created 2007-07-02 22:00:37

dotsJournal: Whimsy!dots
Mood: Confused

“I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.”

-Oscar Wilde

...Created 2007-06-27 00:38:02

dotsJournal: Sweet Downfalldots
Mood: Sweet Sadness

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met.

'Samson' by Regina Spektor.

...Created 2007-06-20 12:27:49

dotsJournal: Hit the Switchdots
Mood: How peculiar!

"...Then night rolls around
and it all starts making sense
there is no right way or wrong way, you just have to live
and so I do what I do, and at least I exist
what could mean more than this?
what would mean more, mean more?"

Bright Eyes

What could mean more, mean more, mean more than

xX censored by Lucy's superego Xx

...Created 2007-06-10 14:15:32

dotsJournal: Yes!dots
Mood: Guess what!?

Riding bikes and Reading books;
You sound better than you look.

My mom put frozen peas on me;
I went to get some coffee.

...Created 2007-05-27 00:40:44

dotsJournal: Don't Know Whendots
Mood: Sad

"And now I don't know why,
but I still try to smile when they talk at me like I'm just a child.
Well, I'm not a child.
No, I am much younger than that."

"Could you please start explaining?
You know, I need some understanding.
Could you please start explaining?
You know, I need some understanding.
Could you please start explaining?
You know, I need some understanding.
I could do good with some explaining.
You know. I want to understand."

Excerpts from "Don't Know When But A Day Is Gonna Come" by Bright Eyes

I don't know when
but a day is gonna come
when I am going to be

...Created 2007-05-17 23:53:49