-------------------------------------------Mood: OverwhelmedI hate love! It eats at your heart, your soul, your mind, at your every being. It consumes your mind like a virus that wipes out every file on your computer. It makes you feel sick with it and lonely with-out it. It takes a perfectly, well maybe not perfectly, um... It takes a some what rational person and makes them a total reck. Making them say and do stupid things. Making them cry alone in their room. It makes me personaly hit my head and and pull at my hair and rock back and fourth like someone in a mental hospital, just trying not to think of the person who is the object of my love. You see the reason why it's so hard for me is because I've never told him how I feel. I can't. It just couldn't happen. My friends think it could but I think that he is too good for me. So I keep it to myself. If I tell him It would be out in the open and ease my crazy mind, but it could ruin a friendship that isn't that strong yet. He's my friend but we lack... everything. I see him every once in a while and write him once in a while but I don't know anything of his personal life, his feelings, thoughts, fears, dreams. We haven't gotten to that faze of our friendship yet and its moving so slugishly. I wnat to tell him my personal stuff. I want to give him the address of this website so he can read this enry and all the poems I wrote about him. But once I start talking I won't be able to stop and everything will spew out and I won't be able to stop talking, trying to put in words how I feel about him. But I think if he were to read this he would get scared off cuz my feelings are so strong and this may seem a little obsessive. I'm so confused! All my thoughts are running through my head all at once and it's becoming way to much for me. I can't take it! So many thoughts!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!...Created 2005-02-27 21:10:21