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Journal: Choke! -------------------------------------------Mood: Frustrated Today I realized how much sucks in the world. If he was here I would rip out his testicles, shove them in his mouth, tape it shut, and wait for him to choke. ...Created 2008-09-07 01:10:24

Journal: comunication -------------------------------------------Mood: The Usual sometimes i whisper...and no one hears me... and then sometimes i say nothing at all... and I couldn't be louder and sometimes I talk in riddle and you stare at me for minute sometimes you don't answer and I get what you wanted to say even if you say you didn't say anything ...Created 2008-08-04 18:52:46

Journal: Remansising -------------------------------------------Mood: Sigh... I was just reading some of my past blogs from back in high school and they made me smile. It's funny how things work out and it's cool to look back and see how life used to be when you had no clue how certain friendships would end up. ...Created 2008-07-09 19:08:58

Journal: I'm back! -------------------------------------------Mood: Guess what!? so I haven't been on here in forever. every once in a while i come back to glance at my stuff but i haven't posted anything in years. So hello to a new world of posters! I hope i don't dissapoint! ...Created 2008-07-06 20:21:17

Journal: -------------------------------------------Mood: In Love Well I had a good night last night. I was talking with a good friend of mine, who I happen to have feelings past friendship for, and we were saying what we thought of each other. He told me I was beautiful! I was filled with happyness but at the same time I had doubt that he could really think that. Cuz when I look in the mirror I see far from beauty. But it still made me happy that he could think that, about me! Then when I told him what I thought I didn't tell him everything I wanted to. I left out two of the most important things. I wanted to say "When I look at you I see a good looking young guy who loves the Lord." And "when I look at you I see a guy that I wish liked me as much as I like him." I wanted to say that but didn't. It was the perfect moment too. But aI let it slip by. Why am I so afaid to tell him how I really feel? I will tell him. I will! Just not right now. Maybe I'm not ready? I don't know. I need to think. ...Created 2005-05-16 12:34:15

Journal: Soooo happeeeee -------------------------------------------Mood: Yeay!! I'm so happy I could sing! Hold on a sec...ok I'm done singing now. Oh I had a great night at youth group tonight! My good friend, who shall remain nameless and who I happen to like as more than a friend but he doesn't know that, asked me to go on a walk with him this comming sunday. I asked him last sunday so this time he asked me. Does that mean anything? Or is he just being a friend. Cuz I like being his friend. I don't know what I would do if he wasn't my friend. But I'm just glad he and I are getting closer as friends. He means a lot to me. But I'm gonna be happy tonight. Even if it doesn't last ,which it almost never lasts, I will be happy for right now. This very moment. :) Well I shall stop writing cuz I should go to be soon. But I think I might try to submit a thing I wrote tonight. Or maybe tomorrw. Well good night everyone, and sweet dreams to all. :) ...Created 2005-05-04 21:18:20

Journal: -------------------------------------------Mood: Hyper Hello my fellow fellows and fellowets. How are you this fine and dandy morning? I'm not sad today! Wahooooooooooooo! ok...thats all I wanted to say. OH and my bestest friend in the whole world melissa says hi. :) ...Created 2005-04-24 09:11:04

Journal: -------------------------------------------Mood: Crazy I"M COMPLETE SHMUCK!!! SHMUCK SHMUCK SHMUCK!!!!!!!!! I DESERVE TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...Created 2005-04-16 21:38:14

Journal: AAAAAHHH!!! -------------------------------------------Mood: Angry Well it's official! I suck at the clarrinet!!! We had a huge concert tonight and we totally bombed it!!! hours of practice in one day just to comletely fail at the concert. I hate... oh I don't hate anything but I am really MAD!!!!! ...Created 2005-03-05 19:33:01

Journal: aaaaaaaaaahhhhh -------------------------------------------Mood: Overwhelmed I hate love! It eats at your heart, your soul, your mind, at your every being. It consumes your mind like a virus that wipes out every file on your computer. It makes you feel sick with it and lonely with-out it. It takes a perfectly, well maybe not perfectly, um... It takes a some what rational person and makes them a total reck. Making them say and do stupid things. Making them cry alone in their room. It makes me personaly hit my head and and pull at my hair and rock back and fourth like someone in a mental hospital, just trying not to think of the person who is the object of my love. You see the reason why it's so hard for me is because I've never told him how I feel. I can't. It just couldn't happen. My friends think it could but I think that he is too good for me. So I keep it to myself. If I tell him It would be out in the open and ease my crazy mind, but it could ruin a friendship that isn't that strong yet. He's my friend but we lack... everything. I see him every once in a while and write him once in a while but I don't know anything of his personal life, his feelings, thoughts, fears, dreams. We haven't gotten to that faze of our friendship yet and its moving so slugishly. I wnat to tell him my personal stuff. I want to give him the address of this website so he can read this enry and all the poems I wrote about him. But once I start talking I won't be able to stop and everything will spew out and I won't be able to stop talking, trying to put in words how I feel about him. But I think if he were to read this he would get scared off cuz my feelings are so strong and this may seem a little obsessive. I'm so confused! All my thoughts are running through my head all at once and it's becoming way to much for me. I can't take it! So many thoughts! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!! ...Created 2005-02-27 21:10:21