Hell is so close and heaven's out of reach, but I aint giving up just yet...
Her room was dark. Shadows flew across the walls, and she took comfort in the warmth and safety of her covers. Though she could not sleep, she felt completely relaxed. Her mind at ease.
It was a vacation from her ever constant thought process. A break from her life.
And yet here she was. Sleeping in the same house with her mother....and some man who she'd brought home for the night.
Her eye was still bruised, and nothing had really changed. Except for the fact that she now knew that there were people in the world that cared.
Natalia and Olivia hadn't solved anything. They helped Emma, but forgot about themselves.
Something they always used to do as friends.....Movie night. Natalia thought fondly of it and smiled as she recalled the countless times she had spent with Olivia.
Was this going to end that? Was it forever going to be awkward between them.
Natalia couldn't answer that because she knew the truth and she didn't want to hear it. The only way for things to get better between them, who be to progress. But if Olivia's scared, then they won't progress and nothing will fix this problem.
But she's the one who kissed me first!! I know she'd conflicted, but we could find the good together, and work out the bad, Natalia thought. She was at a loss.
Then, like a lightbulb, a fun little idea flashed inside her mind. And with that, she grabbed her keys and took off.
Olivia had gone to bed. It was 9 and she still had papers to grade, but she needed sleep.
Her front door opened, unnoticed.
It creaked, but Olivia didn't hear a sound.
Footsteps gradually progressed further into her apartment, and she remained ignorant.
God, Olivia. Natalia thought. I worry about how much of a deep sleeper you are sometimes... But she also knew that she loved it. She loved everything about Olivia.
She flipped on a switch in the living room, and placed some items on the coffee table. Then she went to the bedroom. Olvia's bedroom, where Olivia was sleeping.
Natalia crept up to her bedside, ignored the fact that what she was doing was considered to be stalker-ish, and jumped onto the matress.
"What....the......" Olivia was disoriented.
"Wake up, take your pills dear, I know this time of year ain't right for you...."
It was 12 Pm, on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. Natalia hesitated before deciding to text Olivia and see what she was doing.
She was still seated on the couch. Hadn't moved in inch since she sat down earlier. Graded all her papers, and was mentally exhausted.
She flipped on the tv and found an old re-run of Bones. How she wished Angela and Bones would just makeout already!( AN: My not so secret wish for Bones)
Immediately after pressing the send button on her phone, a text from Olivia came up. Obviously, she could not have replied back that fast, so Natalia was not the first one to initiate the conversation. That made her sort of happy. Olivia wanted to talk to her too.
The message read: Hey, Nat, I've got an ass load of papers to grade. Wana go out for lunch?
Natalia's lips formed a smile. "I've got a better idea."
She replied: How about I help you. 5 minutes and I'm there. Lunch afterwards.
It was a while before the response came back. Natalia checked five times that it had sent and had been delivered. Finally, after her last paranoid check, Olivia's named appeared on the screen.
She said: Guess what?
She sighed. "I wish I could just talk to you instead of waiting for these replies."
She texted back: What would that be??
This response came back quickly. Natalia was satisfied.
Olivia's Text: Your made completely out of awesome. ( AN: My bf said this after we beat our friends to Target. The real quote, "You know how some people are made of blood and guts and mushy stuff? Well, we're made enitrely out of awesome." He's great.....sorry, I had to brag. ;))
A knock was heard on Olivia's apartment door. She hurried to make it there in time, but caused herself to stumble and smack her hand against the doorknob in the process.
She opened the door and the first word that flew from her mouth..... "Shit!"
"For some reason, I thought I'd have more of a welcoming than that, but knowing you, I guess I shouldn't have assumed you'd give me anything more." She teased.
"Ouch...." She breathed through her teeth as she held one throbbing hand with the other.
Natalia walked in and closed the door behind her. "Let me see."
Olivia hesistated. "No, I'm fine."
"No, let me see it. What happened?"
"I ran, I tripped, I stumbled and then collided....witht the door." She winced, letting Natalia take a look.
Excited to see me? Natalia thought. No, how could she possibly have the same feeling for me as I do for her?
"You hit it pretty hard..." Natalia observed. Olivia had slammed the bottom of her right palm into the door knob, and from the looks of it, had possibly broken it.
"I'll ice it. It'll be fine. What won't be fine is if I have 100 students asking me what they made on their test Monday, and I don't have an answer. They do that you know. They gang up on you and drain any speck ouf happiness from your body until they know what they made....I don't know why I decided to teach highschool students. I'd rather clean up diapers than listen to complaint, after complaint, after freaking complaint!!"
"Whoa! Hold, on now. Just calm down." Natalia led her tot he couch. Coinicentally, they did their work in the same place because papers were spread everywhere all over the coffee table in front of it. She smiled secretly.
Olivia sat. So did Natalia. "Here..." She found the remote underneath everything and flipped on the tv. "Ever watched Bones??"
It was Saturday. Friday was gone, and today was a new day.
Emma was still in bed. It was past noon, but she hadn't the will or the energy to pull herself form the warmth of the covers.
Her mother was gone. Probably out having a drink or doing some guy. The most spontaneous woman she had ever known had become so predictable, it was too sad to think about.
So she didn't.
She thought about Ty, and how he had asked her to the Prom this year. She thought about Miss Revera, who was, at this time, her only adult role model. She wanted to become a nurse, and she wanted to be just as good as Miss Revera. Clinicals, sleep, and Ty were the only things that mattered.
When the front door opened, she wasn't shocked. Her mother probably forgot some money. That, sex, and alcohol were the only things that mattered in her life.
No, Emma was not important. Drowning herself in liquor and getting into bed with some guy that probably had some sort of STD was essential to making her grief disappear.
If only she knew the secret. If you pretend your problems don't exsist, things don't seem so bad.
If you pretend your dad didn't die, and that your mom didn't stop loving you....you can forget. You can focus on the future.
It's not a full proof solution, but for the most part, it works. It's just those moments, few and far between, that you are reminded of how life can be cruel.
It was Monday. The weekend seemed so short, and the weeks seemed so very long. Olivia was in her classroom. First period had started and she was taking roll.
"Yeah?" The boy turned to face his teacher.
"Just taking roll, Kyle."
"Maybe if you weren't flirting with Andy, you would have heard what I was doing." She smiled at him, and the class, of course, laughed.
"I'm sorry, Andy just looks so beautiful today. I had to let him know."
She continued.... "Amanda.....Jeremy.....Jinny.....Brittany....."
"Emma?" No here, no nothing.
"Sleeping in!" Someone yelled out.
"Probably..." Olivia agreed. The girl had been late to school multiple times this year and had already reieved ISS because of it. It was always unexcused.
"Door!" Kyle yelled out, yet he was the closest to the door.
Britanny, the girl behind him, slapped him in the arm. She laughed. "Lazy..."
Olivia's eyes did not remove themselves from the paper? "Andy's here", she said to herself...."Guys, someone get the door...."
"Fine." Kyle responded dramatically, but jokingly. He got up and let Emma in. ...Created 2010-03-23 18:44:39
Mood: The UsualAN: Olivia and Natalia go to the same school. No, they are not hormonal teenagers, they are teachers. In a high school that goes by the name Water Creek, Olivia is a 12th grade Lit Teacher, and Natalia is a RN, teaching a nursing class for all grades, otherwise known as Clinicals.
Emma Fein is an 17 year old girl. She is currently enrolled in both of their classes. Emma is able to change their lives for the better, while also improving the hard life she'd been born into.
These are the chapters to come. I have it all mapped out, so I won't forget what I'm writing. I've done that with my toher stories. :( Partly because I just don't have the time anymore. School is too crazy for me, so please don't get made if you like this story and I don't update......
Chapter 1: Wake up, take your pills dear.
Chapter 2: Hell is so close, and heavens out of reach..., but I ain't giving up.
Chapter 3: Hey, we're just bleeding for nothing
Chapter 4: I'm leaving today, so why don't you care
Chapter 5: It's a backstabbing world, honey, just leabe your head back.
Chapter 6: There you were, in your black dress..."
Chapter 7: It's the wrong dream, with the wrong man
Chapter 8: Let the summer rain bring rest, shame, and love.
Before I start, let me remind you this is an AU story. So the character traits will be what I want them to be. I'm not trying to change the characters, really, but some of you may not agree with how I potray them. Esepcially Olivia, because she's always so strong. But you know, there isn't anything wrong with being weak. Sometimes, you can't help it.
Chapter 1: Wake up, take you pills dear....
The sunlight shone through the crimson red curtains. Olivia's eyes needed adjusting before she could keep them open long enough to look at the clock.
It was weird to see the sunlight when she woke up. Being a teacher sometimes meant waking up before the sun.
Today, was Saturday. A day of sleep, a day of rest, a day of....loneliness and paper grading. And to even get herself out of bed, she had to complete her little morning routine. She grabbed the warm glass of water that she prepared the night before, and the tiny blue pill laying beside it. Why was it that she always awoke with a headache?
She had some guesses, but she could'n't be sure of the real cause.
She was always overworked, underpayed, and overindulging in foods that she could go a lifetime without consuming again.
She was dieted out, even though she was porpotionally perfect, and to some, absolutely beautiful. A critic, she was, of herself. And a slave to fixing what she thought to be imperfections.
Natalia, her closest friend, was nothing but ...Created 2010-03-22 18:56:29
Mood: The Usual
Later that evening, Natalia and Olivia lay in their bed. Dinner was Lasagna, and after wards, they talked for a couple of hours as Vela slept soundly.
She was still sleeping, in the crib in which they had bought for her. It was pink and had little lambs painted on it. Natalia had picked it out. The minute she saw it, she had to buy it. No objections came from Olivia either.
"I'm just going to go check on her really quick...." Natalia jumped out of the bed. "God, It's like I'm the one who just gave birth. I'm freaking out, and your Miss Laid back over there...." She looked down at the baby's chest, wtaching it rise and fall. it gave her the conformation she needed, and she went to lay back down.
"Emma was a quiet baby.... She rarely ever cried. I was scared and nervous at first. I got up every five minutes to check on her. Then gradually, those minutes turned to hours, and then those hours became longer. I finally got to the point where I could sleep normally again, without worrying."
"Rafe cried all the time. He was such an melodramatic child..." She giggled.
"Hmmm... really. Never would have guessed." Olivia smiled.
"But he was also pretty well behaved for the most part. I can't recall him ever sneaking out...."
"Hey! Emma just wanted to see her daddy!" Liv defended her daughter.
"Oh, Olivia, you know I was only joking. I love that little girl. She's so smart, and she's got a hell of a lotta guts to do some of the things she's done!"
"YOU said the 'h' word, and I believe we are in the presence of a little, innocent, baby...." Olivia pointed out. Natalia slapped her.
"Go to bed..."
"Okay, okay..." Olivia reached for the lamp, but Natalia stopped her.... "What?"
"Ugh, can we leave it on. For tonight... It's her first night home. What if something happens?"
Olivia smiled, understandingly. "Okay." ...Created 2009-10-04 16:06:32
A/N: I don't know anything about all this medical crap. I know that women who get pregnant after a heart transplant are at high risk, and I've read that some develop problems. So I'm sorry if this doesn't seem unrealistic. I'm not doctor and the things I make up might sound stupid... so just, bare with me here. I'm trying... lol... but I'm not going to make her condition serious and everything. I don't' want to kill her off... But there's got to be some drama. This is still a soap here. :-)
Olivia sat upright in the hospital bed, holding the newborn baby in her arms. She couldn't stop smiling.
Today was the day. It was the day that Natalia would take her home from the hell hold she'd been in for the past couple of days. It was the day that Vela Nicole Spencer would go home to her two loving mother's and her older sister who already loved her more than anything.
It was the day that Natalia and Olivia would really become parents together, as they had only pictured it. Now, it was all happening.
"Hey, baby." Natalia walked through the door, carrying a change of clothes and some shoes for Olivia. The release forms has already been filled out and signed by the the doctors and she was minutes away from hopping in the car.
"Hey." Olivia shifted her smile to Nat.
"Who said I was talking to you?" Natalia joked, placing her things on the chair next tot he bed, and placing a kiss on Vela's tiny forehead. Her skin was so soft, and she smelled so wonderful. It was good to have that baby smell around again, Natalia thought.
"Where's my out other baby?" Olivia questioned, carefully handing the little bundle of joy in her arms to Natalia.
"She is at home with ...Created 2009-10-03 18:12:31
A/N: Sorry I haven't updated. Been busy. And school just started back up again.... :cry: .....but it's my Senior year!!! :D .......I'm a little angry though.. <_<....I don't really like my teachers. One of them NEVER smiles.
But! I'll be able to update every now and then I guess....
Hope you like it!! Thanks for the reviews!! And thanks in advance for any reviews I get for this chapter!! :hugs I wouldn't be motivated to write this without you guys!!
It was the biggest pain she'd ever experienced in her life. Dying could not even come close to pushing something so big out of something so small....
Yeah, she's done it before....with Emma. But she had forgotten about the pain. And who wouldn't? Why would you want to remember how excruciating it was?!
But there was always that moment, in every mother's experience, where the room seemed completely silent. And the realization of just pushing another human, another life, out of your body, was unbelievable. And when the nurses handed you your baby, all wrapped up and as tiny as ever, you looked into that infants eyes and instantly fell deeply, and truly in love.
Olivia was in that moment. She just stared, mesmerized. And Natalia, well, she knew that feeling. She still remembered the day when she looked at her son, so small and fragile in her arms....Even though she had not been the one to give birth to this baby today, she was still just as in love with it as Olivia was.
This was the day that Jordon was born. The day that Olivia had been worried about for the longest time. The day that she looked into those innocent eyes, and knew that she would never be able to let her go.
Frank took a part in creating this life, but that didn't mean he would ever BE a part of it. Olivia realized that she had to let the past go, and take a hold of the future.
She had a feeling that things happened for a reason and that even though she experienced something horrible, she still got something great out of it.
"I love you..." Olivia whispered to the baby before she was taken away to get clean up. Natalia grabbed Liv's hand, tears in her eyes.
"You did great..." She said.
"Yeah....next time you can do it though, because I'm NOT pushing out a third when your still on number one...."...Created 2009-08-12 19:41:34
A/N: I'm sad. My sister is gone. :( But writing this cheered me up a little. Hope you enjoy it.
Emma dropped the bat, and slowly, crumpled to the floor. Emotions surrounded her and there was no way to escape them.
She cried some tears of anger, some tears of relief, and some tears of thankfulness.
Every single moment leading up until when she hit Frank over the head, her heart had been pounding on her chest. She was scared that it would tear through her skin, and fall out onto the floor. Sure, that sounded gross and frankly, unbelievable. But not to a little girl who's body shook with each beat.
She didn't see her mother come over and wrap her in her arm. She didn't feel Natalia rub her back, trying to calm her down. She didn't hear the front door swing open or Rafe calling out his mother's name.
All that she knew was that it was all finally over. Her mother was safe, Natalia was unharmed and Frank was no longer going to threaten their lives.
In a way, she did feel happy. But in another way entirely, she was sad.... Frank had always seemed like a good guys. She never thought she'd crush his skull and watch him drop to the floor.
What had she just done? Was he dead?? She didn't know. And for God sakes, she couldn't get that horrible sound of wood meeting bone out of her little head.
She wasn't sure if she was okay or not. She felt fine, physically... but that safness she used to feel. That warm feeling of living at home with her mother and Natalia was gone. Anyone could come in at any time and blow their heads off.
So many things could happen in a matter of seconds and the pain would last for a lifetime. She was paranoid, and insecure.
What were the locks on the doors for if someone could shoot right through them? Why bother with alarms when you could be killed before anyone could help you?
All these things she wondered, and yet, she was so young. She didn't need to feel this way. She needed to believe in Santa Claus and that the world was a happy place where everyone shared and got along.
But that's a bunch of bull.... The world is a scary place. Why would they teach anyone otherwise??
In pre school, she learned to be nice others, to forgive, to share. Today, she saw the anything but niceness. There was not an ounce of forgiveness in Frank's eyes when he pointed that gun at Olivia. All there was to see was revenge. And the only thing that was shared between everyone was fear.
The fear fairy came in and sprinkled everyone in the house.
She had put her ear against her mother's chest and heard the blood pumping so fast, so loud, that she wasn't sure if Olivia would be okay.
This was the second time she almost lost her mother.... Who was to say it wouldn't be the last? Who was to say that she would make it out the next time??
Stop thinking, Emma thought. You'll be okay....you'll be okay.......you'll be okay......... She told herself over and over until her exhausted eyes closed, and her breathing returned to a somewhat normal pace.
Mood: The Usual· Buzz tells Natalia to take Olivia upstairs
· Buzz waits by the door until there are bullets being shot through it
· Emma wakes up and hears what’s going on, she’s scared
· Rafe comforts her
· Olivia can’t take waiting, so she goes downstairs against Natalia’s will. She says she’s not afraid anymore. Natalia says it figures she’s not afraid when there’s a gun involved.
· Natalia tells Rafe to stay with Emma and he reluctantly agrees. She then chases after Olivia
· Olivia walks into the living room and everything is quiet
· She asks Buzz where Frank went, assuming it was him that left the bullets in the door.
· Buzz doesn’t know, but he’s armed with a bat that he found in the closet.
· He said the bullets stopped quickly just as another shot is heard outside.
· Natalia begs Olivia to come back upstairs, because she doesn’t want anything to happen to her
· Olivia ignores her and worries about Mallet. She asked Buzz if he thinks Mallet’s okay.
· She tries to open the door, but neither Buzz nor Natalia will let her.
· The phone rings, and Buzz answers it. It’s Mallet. He just called for back up, but Frank shot him. He says that Franks is coming back to the house, armed.
· “Go upstairs.” Frank tells the ladies.
· Natalia drags Olivia with her and they leave Buzz alone in the kitchen.
· Upstairs, Emma is sobbing. Her mom and Natalia enter the room, and she runs into Olivia’s arms.
· Olivia tells her it will be okay, trying to soothe her.
· Rafe wants to go help Buzz. Natalia can’t convince him to stay. She screams after him, but he won’t come back
· Shots are heard again in the house.
· Natalia is freaking out, worried about her son.
· There are footsteps coming up the stairs. Then a tumbling sound and Buzz’s voice. They conclude that Buzz grabbed Frank from behind and made them both fall down the stairs. Then Frank’s voice is heard.
· He shoves the gun in his father’s face and threatens to kill him if he doesn’t stop.
· Buzz doesn’t listen and he gets up. Frank shoots him in the leg.
· Rafe gets that bat that Buzz dropped on the floor, and violently throws it up the stairs, hitting Frank in the back, missing his target; Franks head.
· He screams in pain, but continues until he reaches the room the girls are inside.
· Rafe is angered and worried for his mom’s life. He hears the cop sirens outside.
· He goes after Frank, but quietly, so that he doesn’t get shot. He grabs the bat again.
· Get away from the door. Olivia tells them, and they all move to the back of the room. Olivia tells her daughter to get under the bed. Emma can’t stop crying.
· Bullets shoot through the door until the lock is busted. The door opens and Frank walks in, screaming profanities. He points the gun at Olivia, who is crouching down on the floor.
· Footsteps behind him make him turn around to see Rafe with the bat again. Rafe dodges the bullet aimed at him by dropping to the floor. He then aims the gun at Rafe again, pointing to his head. Rafe doesn’t move.
· Natalia cries, scared for her son’s life.
· Frank then speaks, still keeping his eyes on Rafe. “If you want him to live, Olivia, I suggest you come here.”
· Olivia comes, ignoring all her fears.
· Natalia hold’s Emma’s hand, sobbing.
· Franks grab’s Olivia around the neck and aims the gun at her head. Her takes her away from everyone, and walks back down the stairs.
· “You come after me, and I’ll shoot her.” He tells Rafe
· Franks walks outside. Cops are every where. He shows them his hostage and threatens to kill her if they don’t let him go....Created 2009-06-03 19:23:42
Journal: Part 7 Story -------------------------------------------
Mood: The UsualBlack Eyes, Blue tears
"What?" Natalia's heart started to beat 10 times as fast. To say she was scared would be an understatement. She was freaked out to the point of nearly throwing up. "Mallet...." She spoke, her voice shaking, her body quivering.
"Take her upstairs...." Buzz ordered.
Natalia ran over to Olivia, and shook her awake. "Olivia, come on. Wake up." She pulled Liv up off the couch. "Hurry."
"Where are we going?"
"Gun shots outside. We have to go upstairs." Natalia explained while the ascended the staircase.
Olivia stopped half way. Her legs wouldn't move. "He's here?"
"Go..." Natalia ordered, pushing her the rest of the way.
Rafe was awake and alert. So was Emma. She had actually woke him up from a rather deep sleep. "I'm scared." She cried, and he pulled her into his arms because it was the only thing he could think of to calm her.
"What's going on?" She hiccuped, tears running freely down her cheeks.
"Shhh, just calm down. What did you hear?" He asked.
"Loud bangs. Where's my mommy?"
This was it, Rafe thought. The damn bastard came back. But there was a cop outside. Maybe what Emma heard was the sound of Mallet's gun shooting at Frank.
"Emma, it's okay. Just calm down, okay. Your mom's okay." He wasn't good at the comforting thing.
"W...what about N.. Natalia?" She was shaking.
"She's fine too." She better be fine, Rafe thought angrily.
Buzz was downstairs in the kitchen. He wanted to go outside and see what was happening, but he couldn't risk getting shot. Olivia needed protection.
But it was his son. Would Frank really shoot his own father?
Buzz's heart stopped. "BANG!" Two bullets were shot through the door. Frank was here, and trying to get in. Mallet.....where the hell was Mallet. Did he get shot? Oh God.... Buzz prayed. He cried and he prayed.
"Olivia!" Natalia screamed at her. "You need to stay here. Don't go down there." She was pulling the older woman's arm, and tugging her back.
But Olivia was angry, and impatient. She pulled away from Natalia's grasps and threw open the door.
"I'm not scared anymore. This is going to end."
"Stop! Olivia, think about Emma!" God, Natalia didn't think she'd ever stop crying. Her head was throbbing so badly, and he heart was so weak. She could not take it if Olivia got hurt. She just couldn't....
"I am thinking about Emma! I hear her crying, and I'm not going to sit up here and do nothing while my daughter has a panic attack. She needs to know that she's protected and safe, and I'm going to make that happen. This is going to end."
"It figures you'd stop being afraid when there's a gun involved." Natalia sighed and watched Olivia go downstairs. She turned around and peaked into Emma's room. Rafe was holding her tightly.
"Stay with her Rafe, don't leave her." She told him.
Rafe didn't want to. He REALLY didn't want to, but he nodded and watched his mother leave.
When Olivia gets downstairs, the house is pretty quiet. Buzz wasn't in the living room, so she headed into the kitchen.
She found him standing by the door with a bat in his hands. "Where is he?" She asked him.
"I don't know. He just stopped...." Another bullet was heard from outside, just a Buzz started to speak.
"Mallet." Olivia said, remembering. She said it more to herself then to Buzz.
Buzz didn't even try to respond. He honestly didn't think Mallet was even alive, but he had to get his mind off of that right now.
"Olivia, come back upstairs! Please!" Natalia's voice was almost gone she had been screaming so much. And it was so amazing to her that she still had any tears left to cry. She had probably cried enough to fill up a freaking bathtub, or at least that's what it felt like.
She wanted Olivia to come with her. The hope that they would make it out okay was drifting away. They needed to get to safety before it was too late.
Olivia ignored her and started crying. Was Mallet dead? This was all her fault. God, do something. She prayed, running out of ideas. Please, please let him be okay. Or better yet, make this all a nightmare and push me off the bed so that I wake up.
"I've gotta see if he's okay." She pushed past Buzz and grabbed the doorknob.
"No!" Buzz and Natalia screamed in unison. Buzz pulled her back.
"Let me go!" She screamed. "I need to make sure he's okay....let me go...." She pleaded. She went downstairs a stronger woman, and now she was falling apart all over again. She sobbed as Natalia pulled her into her arm.
The room fell silent, but only for a couple of seconds. Then, the phone started to ring. Buzz didn't know whether to answer it or not. Would Frank really call the house?
Buzz picked up the phone off the table, and put it to his ear slowly. He didn't have time to say anything before the voice on the other end started to speak.
"I called for back up." Buzz sighed a big sigh of relief. It was Mallet's voice on the other end. "But I've been shot and Frank's headed back to the house. You need to get everyone to a safe spot." His voice was dripping with pain, but Mallet wasn't as concerned about himself as he was Frank's target; Olivia.
"Okay." Buzz said quietly. He looked to Olivia and Natalia. "Go upstairs." He hung up the phone. "Mallet's been shot, but he called for back up. You need need to go upstairs."
...Created 2009-06-03 16:47:23