 Journal: Logan.
-------------------------------------------Mood: The UsualI keep wondering when it's been time enough. Time enough to go back. We can never go back though. But when someone tells you that they need time, doesnt that mean they'll be back? I know he's worth fighting for. I know he's worth waiting for. It's just.. so hard. I mean I'm not alone obviously but actually I am. Because noone can fill the void like logan did. I hate to admit it, I hate to drag more and more guys into this.. I hate that noone compares to him. I hate that I still care. You'd think after this all I could accept that he isn't coming back.. but he DID and thats what gets me the most. And do I love brian? Do I really? He's so much different than Logan. Logan was sensitive and missed me when we were away.. and he cared and I could cry on his shoulder. Brian is cold and pretends there are no problems, he BUYS me things.. but he doesnt make me HAPPY. He also is scaring me. With Logan, I wanted a marriage and a future because I knew that I would be very happy. With Brian I'm reluctant.. He's talking about marriage? I'm feeling like running away.
To be honest I read all of Logans old blogs. He used to think that of me? He thought I was the sweetest girl?I'm the same girl, just with more mistakes. Never do that though... never look at your ex's blogs.. They bring a flood of memories on.. they make you think you're still there, with them but really.. they are just trying so hard to push you the hell away.. and you cant ever get back to them, or in their heart.. Yea. It hurts. I didnt know he was grieving when I left. I didnt know he cared that much. I missed him and my phone would never work.. we didnt have the net or anything. God.. Why do "all things happen for a reason?" Maybe this is God's plan for Logan. He had to get away from me, he had to meet Leah. But what do I do? He gets his fairytale.. and I'm stuck way back when I thought I had mine.
I love you still.
It's not gonna go away.
Remember fishing, and all the frogs in the pond, walking to that old house, to cemetaries, angelas pizza, your grandparents house, going to movies then the dollar store, when you would tell me about LoA and I always told you to write it.. The places we went.. the things we did.. I lost my best friend.. Is he ever coming back...... (no) =[[
So this is to him.. the one who had, and has my heart.
Almost Lover=A fine frenzy
We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget
These images
No
Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?...Created 2008-01-31 22:24:23 |
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)...Created 2008-02-05 21:28:09