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    poetry


    dotsJournal: normal??dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Confused

    Hey my lovelies. Lately, I have been so lonely and confused. Bulimia has become my best friend now. I hate it. But it's like second nature to me now. People know, but I don't care anymore. Anthing to make me thin doesn't bother me.
    I can't handle my emotions like a "normal" person. I can't sit and cry for fear of weakness. So I hold it in, until I do something self-destructive. I hate myself. I am tired of my fake smile and pretending to be happy. I am so lost and there is no one to help me.
    What is so wrong with me?? God, I hate feeling like this....


    Sadly yours,

    }i{Renae}i{

    ...Created 2006-12-01 17:42:41

    dotsJournal: Hoildays *sigh*dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Ugh... I hate my life.

    Hi everyone,

    Today is just not my day. I am very moody and tired do to my aunt flow comin this mourning. I hate my body... It does everything in it's power to defeat me. I swear it's rebeling.
    Well I am alone yet again. Everyone is off doing there own thing. I don't really mind. I am ok being alone.
    I am with someone as of Nov.19. His name is Tori. I love him so and this would be the third time we are back together. Long distance relationships are the hardest. I miss him :( I haven't talked to him since Thursday. I wanted to cry last night.
    Well I am in pain and I have nothing more to talk about. SO I will go. I'll write again soon :/


    XoXo,

    }i{Renae}i{

    ...Created 2006-11-23 19:22:23

    dotsJournal: *sigh*dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: All Mixed Up

    Hey all,

    Sorry I haven't written in awhile. Things have been hectic around here.
    Well I am happy cuz we have a four day weekend starting today. I'm glad.School is so boring. My friend is getting on my last nerve. She will not leave me alone. I am about to smack her!! I can kinda see now why no one likes her.She is mean to ppl for no apparent reason. It's very frustrating being around her. I am trying to get away so I don't say something to hurt her but she will not go away!!
    I hung out with my crush 2day. How can you love someone so much, when they love someone else?? It hurts sometimes when he looks at me. I feel important when he talks to me cuz he looks me straight in the eye. Something not alot of people do. I wish I didnn't care about him so much...
    Well I am tired and I have poems to submit. I will write soon...

    Ciao,

    }i{Renae}i{

    ...Created 2006-11-08 20:15:22

    dotsJournal: Bored...dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: ZZzzzz,,,...___

    Hey all,

    I am at school right now. It's only 4th period and I am ready to go home... I am so tired.
    Everyone is leaving early for appointments. It sucks cuz I don't have really anyone to hang out with. Today is going to be boring as hell...
    So yeah. Thank god it's lunch next. Oh crap got to go. Teacher is coming!!

    Ciao,

    }i{Renae}i{

    ...Created 2006-10-24 13:10:44

    dotsJournal: A New Day...dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Dead Sexy

    Hey ppl,

    Today for the first time in a long time, I am truly happy. I couldn't help but laugh and smile. All seems to be okay.
    My ex friend said harsh words to me. But I am ready to let her go. I don't want to be friends with someone as cold as she is. I am ready to move on and change my life for the better.
    I sang so loud and outta tune. It was great. For once I didn't care what ppl think. I am finally happy. I wrote some poems. I am gonna post them...

    Ciao,

    }i{Renae}i{

    ...Created 2006-10-22 20:25:23

    dotsJournal: Still breathingdots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Upset and hurt

    Hello there,

    Today wasn't one of my better days. My friend has left me. She rather believe other peoples lies then my truth. So I have to let her go and it hurts. We have been through so much 2gether but this wouldn't be the first time she has hurt me. So I will wait cuz I know she will be back. The question is, will I let her?? Honestly, I don't know. I am afraid she will start rumors about me cuz she is a bitch like that. She has changed so much from when we first met. That seems so long ago that we were happy and laughing.
    I've been four days cut-free. I don't know how long I can last. The only reason I am stopping myself is because of my two friends, James and Kelsey. I don't want to hurt them at all.
    Well I regret my recent "masterpiece" on my legs. There are going to make bad scars. I will always be reminded of what happened. GOd, I hate myself. Well I g2g. I will write soon...

    Ciao,

    }i{Renae}i{

    ...Created 2006-10-21 22:47:13

    dotsJournal: OMFGdots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Ugh... I hate my life.

    Hey all,

    I'm so sorry it's been forever! School started and I haven't had much time for the computer or writing. SO much going on that it is hectic.
    Alot of stuff has happened to me lately. I have changed alot. I am almost completely diffrent and you will be able to tell in my writing.
    Well that is it for now. Any questions feel free to write me or whatever. I will try to be on later....

    Ciao,

    }i{Renae}i{

    ...Created 2006-10-19 20:16:32

    dotsJournal: A Long Timedots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Crazy

    Hey all,

    It's been a while since I have last been on here. I am sorry. Jay you must contact me ASAP! LOL. Well it's just the usual summer crap around here. I find myself eating less lately. Maybe that is good for my weight...It's so hott here. It was 103 degrees today. I stayed inside all day. Thank god for A/C. I find myself so confused and sad lately. I don't know what to do...I wanna cry and sometimes just sleep and sleep. I did an all nighter the other night and to tell you the truth, I probably could've stayed up another night. I wasn't tired. I think something is honestly wrong with me...Well I should go...

    Chow,

    }i{Renae}i{

    ...Created 2006-07-09 02:04:33

    dotsJournal: Hi new accountdots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Guess what!?

    Hi ppl,

    I am Mascaratears69.I had to make a new account because I forgot my password and I had to delete my e-mail account that I had with that profile... So don't wig out on me because I have to move all my poems to this account...Well I will write again....

    Chow,
    }i{Renae}i{

    ...Created 2006-04-24 21:09:42

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Instances written by hyproglo
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Broken Promises written by S.A.M.
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    ... written by Daniel Barlow
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Where is My Ghost written by ForgottenGraves
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    an explanation of how i was not good written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Some of it written by Daniel Barlow
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Chasing The Lie written by jackz
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    Stretto written by saartha
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore

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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
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