Journal: Life Soundtrack -------------------------------------------Mood: In Love Opening credits: Behind Blue Eyes - The Who Waking up: Somebody Else's Song - Lifehouse Average day: I'm a Believer - Smash Mouth First date: Marilyn Manson Ate My Girlfriend - Relient K Falling in love: I Can Love You Like That - All 4 One Fight scene: Sunglasses at Night - Corey Hart Breaking up: Thunder Rolls - Garth Brooks Getting back together: I Swear - All 4 One Secret love: Numb - In The Shaddows - The Rasmus Life's okay: I Believe in a Thing Called Love - The Darkness Mental breakdown: Breaking the Habit - Linkin Park Driving: Drive - Incubus Learning a lesson: Untitled - Simple Plan Deep thought: Epiphany - Staind Flashback: Sadie Hawkins Dance - Relient K Partying: Start The Commotion - Greg Nice Happy dance: Blackbird - The Beatles Regretting: Closing Time - Semisonic Long night alone: Never There - Cake Death scene: Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Synyrd ...Created 2006-05-20 14:01:49

Journal: Top 100 things -------------------------------------------Mood: Head Aching Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present... The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord 1.My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones. 2.My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through. 3.My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon. 4.Shooting is not too good for my enemies. 5.The artifact, which is the source of my power, will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object, which is my one weakness. 6.I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them. 7.When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No." 8.After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out. 9.I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such. 10.I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well. 11.I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat. 12.One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation. 13.All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal. 14.The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request. 15.I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation. 16.I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know." 17.When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice. 18.I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time. 19.I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father. 20.Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly. 21.I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi storm troopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set. 22.No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head. 23.I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks. 24.I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.) 25.No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery, which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot. 26.No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber. 27.I will never build only one of anything important. All-important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times. 28.My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble. 29.I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion. 30.All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief. 31.All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick. 32.I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by. 33.I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions. 34.I will not turn into a snake. It never helps. 35.I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X. 36.I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cellblock, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison. 37.If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant. 38.If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age. 39.If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army. 40.I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable super weapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve. 41.Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices. 42.When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around. 43.I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans. 44.I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance. 45.I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling. 46.If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor. 47.If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature. 48.I will treat any beast, which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge. 49.If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact, which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want Ad in the local paper. 50.My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh PowerBooks. 51.If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position. 52.I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about. 53.If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her. 54.I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary. 55.The deformed mutants and oddball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention. 56.My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice. 57.Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual. 58.If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner. 59.I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am. 60.My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords. 61.If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them. 62.I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports, which intruders could use for cover in a firefight. 63.Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals. 64.I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits, which could prove to be a disadvantage. 65.If I must have computer systems with publicly available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment. 66.My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system. 67.No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency. 68.I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again. 69.All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild. 70.When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner. 71.If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no. 72.If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable super weapon on them. 73.I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win. 74.When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk. 75.I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time. 76.If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.) 77.If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutenant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer. 78.I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical." 79.If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins. 80.If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress. 81.If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw. 82.I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure. 83.If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him. 84.I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex. 85.I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button." 86.I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded. 87.My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them. 88.If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again. 89.After I captures the hero's super weapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him. 90.I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door. 91.I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important. 92.If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.) 93.If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first. 94.When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value. 95.My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look. 96.My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa. 97.My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unraveled. 98.If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstances have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution. 99.Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size. 100.Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access. ...Created 2006-05-20 14:01:12

Journal: in my life -------------------------------------------Mood: In Love I'M TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH MY BOYFRIEND .... AND WANTED TO SHARE and some of my newset fav songs System Of A Down - Holy Mountains Ahhhh Ahhhh Ahhhh Ahhhh ! Ahhhh Ahhhh Ahhhh Ahhhh ! Can you feel their haunting presence? Can you feel their haunting presence? LIAR! KILLER! DEMON! Back To The River Aras! Someone's blank stand deemed it Warfare. LIAR! KILLER! DEMON! Back To The River ! Freedom... Freedom... We're free... We're Free... Can you hear the Holy Mountains? LIAR! KILLER! DEMON! Back To The River Aras! Someone's mouth said paint them all red LIAR! KILLER! DEMON! Back To The River Aras! Freedom... Freedom... We're free... We're Free... They have all returned resting on the mountain side We have learned that you have no.... They have returned resting on the mountain side We have learned that you have no.... HONOR! MURDERER! SODOMIZER! Back To The River Aras! They have returned resting on the mountain side We have learned that you have no.... HONOR! MURDERER! SODOMIZER! Back To The River Aras! Freedom... Freedom... We're Free... Freedom... Ahhhh Ahhhh Ahhhh Ahhhh ! Ahhhh Ahhhh Ahhhh Ahhhh ! Ahhhh Ahhhh Ahhhh Ahhhh ! Ahhhh Ahhhh Ahhhh Ahhhh ! System Of A Down - Lonely Day Such a lonely day And its mine The most loneliest day of my life Such a lonely day Should be banned This day that I can't stand The most loneliest day of my life The most loneliest day of my life Such a lonely day Shouldn't exist A day that Ill never miss Such a lonely day And its mine The most loneliest day of my life And if you go, I wanna go with you And if you die, I wanna die with you Take your hand and walk away The most loneliest day of my life The most loneliest day of my life The most loneliest day of my life Life Such a lonely day And its mine A day that I'm glad I survived System Of A Down - She's Like Heroin She's like heroin Sipping through a little glass I'm looking for some help I need someone to save her ass Chinese tricks in rooms With ghost's of hooker girly dudes Me and heroin, maybe we can make some cash selling ASS Selling ass for heroin ASS Selling ass for heroin ASS Selling ass for heroin ASS Selling ass for heroin She wants nothing more Than to be a little whore He wants nothing less But to wear a little dress She's like heroin Sipping through a little glass I'm looking for some help I need someone to make some cash selling ASS Selling ass for heroin ASS Selling ass for heroin ASS Selling ass for heroin ASS Selling ass for heroin She's like heroin Sipping through a little glass I'm looking for some help I need someone to save her ass She wants nothing more But to be a little whore He wants nothing less But to wear a little dress She's like heroin Sipping through a little glass I'm looking for some help I need someone to save her ass Chinese tricks in rooms With ghost's of hooker girly dudes Me and heroin, maybe we can make some cash She's like heroin Sipping through a little glass I'm looking for some help I need someone to save my as ...Created 2006-03-03 01:47:59

Journal: wow -------------------------------------------Mood: The Usual It’s official ... I’m having my stupid surgery on the 13th ... so I’ll be hobbling around on something or other for most of March ... YAY!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ IN OTHER NEWS ........................................................................................ * I saw my friend Steve (YAY) ... not sure if it was good or bad ... but I dumped him off on Kim * My nose is coming off ... NO I’m not having plastic surgery or anything ... I’m just going to rip it off if it keeps acting up like this ... stupid allergies. * Everything I have done in my life that was worthwhile, I caught hell for ... and am so going to do it again!!!!!!!!! *I’m getting an industrial on Sunday!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~*~Seven Spanish Angels~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Ray Charles and Willie Nelson *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* He looked down in to her brown eyes And said, “Say a prayer for me.” And she threw her arms around him, Whispered, “God will keep us free” They could hear the riders coming, He said, “This is my last fight. If they take me back to Texas, They won’t take me back alive.” There were seven Spanish Angels, At the Altar of the sun. They were praying for the lovers, In the Valley of the Gun. When the battle stopped and the smoke cleared, There was a thunder from the throne. And Seven Spanish Angels, Took another angel home. She reached down and picked the gun up, That lay smoking in his hand. She said, “Father please forgive me, I can’t make it without my man.” And she knew the gun was empty. And she knew she couldn’t win But her final prayer was answered, When the rifles fired again. There were Seven Spanish Angels At the Altar of the sun. They were praying for the lovers, In the Valley of the Gun. When the battle stopped and the smoke cleared, There was a thunder from the throne. And Seven Spanish Angels, Took another angel home. There were Seven Spanish Angels At the Altar of the sun. They were praying for the lovers, In the Valley of the Gun. When the battle stopped and the smoke cleared, There was a thunder from the throne. And Seven Spanish Angels, Took another angel home. There were Seven Spanish Angels At the Altar of the sun. They were praying for the lovers, In the Valley of the Gun. When the battle stopped and the smoke cleared, There was a thunder from the throne. And Seven Spanish Angels, Took another angel home. ...Created 2006-03-02 15:26:08

Journal: New Tattoo ... -------------------------------------------Mood: ZZzzzz,,,...___ Ok ... I hot a new tattoo yesterday ... It's a celtic rose (that's what we call it) it's cute and inbetween my shoulder blades ... it hurt like a mother fucker ... I had to bite my bf ... not fun ... oh god it hurt!!!! But it was totally worth it!!! Alicia's b-day party was today ... totally awesome!!!! It was a whole bunch of totally rad people hanging out being stupid! Eating lots of food ... mmhhmm Well the night b4 Alicia's party ... I made a date with Jersey (go me) and we found the cutest outfit at hot topic (which she made me buy ... and it involves a skirt and a corset) it's so hot! and later we hooked up with Sko and Bob ... :) YAY for friends ... then Jersey ad I got our tattoos ... go us!!! and after we were done we went out for thai (good shit) and ladeedahha!!! It was super good times. we went to bed around 12:45 ok ... and we stayed up for awhile talking and what not ... and then Jersey pased out and Skop and I stayed up untill about 6ish adn we all were awake b4 9:30 ... how sad (I usually get up around 10) and we did SO much crap to get ready for Alicia's party! oh dear! It was super fun though! But now I am like ubber tired and have to get up ubber early tomorrow to teach sunday school (my last sunday ... yay ... and then never again!!!!!) And I have to remember to give Chris the money that Gretchen gave me for Percy ... I was supposed to do it last week ... but I forgot ... and then I just wanted to go back home!!!! GRRR ... I am ubber pissed with men in general ... and one guy in perticular ... Michael something or other ... AKA Sko's bro ... any man who walks into his "mother-in-law's" house and threaten every one who lives there ... not kosher in my book ... especially if they are not on my shit list .... and I happen to love Sko .... so pissed ... not really sure why ... but ubber pissed. I haven't seen Ashley in a while either ... that makes me want to cry a little bit too ... I miss her bunches ... and I have her necklace and she has my jacket ... I really want my jacket back!!!! good fricken night! ...Created 2006-01-22 16:16:05

Journal: Potato Soup -------------------------------------------Mood: Crazy Alright ... I've been thinking (dangerous I know) about life in general ... and how it sucks (in general). You're going along ... doing stuff you'd rather not do ... and all of a sudden something comes along that makes all the crap worth while? Well my mom made potato soup ... painfully good stuff. Nothing is better than mom's cooking right? Well I had my Dr appointment for my foot (they have to do surgery) and I have to hobble about in my ubber-sexy shoe-thing for another couple of months. Then I get to have my foot sliced into and have a glob taken out. YAY! And I have to do it after this term is over ... it's not smart for Randi to have an excuse to miss class (I miss class without a valid excuse) but then I'm trying to get a whole bunch of certifications done durring spring break ... so I'm thinking online classes!!!! For spring term. After I had my appt ... my grandma decided it would be a good time to help me make my blanket ... it's one of those ones you tie together. All kosher so far ... right???? Well my grandparents are very traditional, even conservative when it comes to body art ... so not only do it get to work on a project in close proximity to both of my grandparents ... I get to do it and try to hide my tattoo and my nose stud! GO ME! So then EVENTUALY I go home, where I get badgered by my cat for something (still don't know what she wanted ... I'm not even sure she knows what she wants half the time) and then my mom comes home and wants to know where the tv remote had wandered off to (which turned out to be my room) What makes it all worth while ... the potato soup!!!! Good Stuff!!!!!!!! Thanks mom! ...Created 2006-01-17 20:18:12

Journal: Needles -------------------------------------------Mood: Straightening things out... SCRUMDIDDLEUMSCIOUS If this seems a little on the defensive side ... that's because it is! Last night I was with my best buddy (Kirsten ... got anything to say about it? Kiss my ass) and we had a wild and crazy mother fucking day! It was totally awesome! It was like the good old days ... without the weed Speaking of weed ... I know I live in Salem, and there is like nothing to do (unless you really like parks) but come on ... is it impossible to find a guy who DOES NOT smoke? Yes I used to do it ... and yeah I've slipped up and gone back, but It's not my biggest concern for myself anymore (yay) partly because I have someone else watching my back (my BF) and because I save all my money for body art stuff ... which is as equally taboo in my family ... my grandparents still don't know about the tattoo I've had for a month and it was just the first one ... I want to get my rose and tribal band, and find somewhere for James' knife ... and then I'm debating getting my lip pierced, and I'm trying to get some hollow needles for finishing up my ears ... I used to freak out at the thought of having to get a shot and now I volunteer to have needles shoved into and through my body. I even try to donate blood every 6 weeks ... I need to beef up on my broccoli this week. But on a completely different and totaly awesome note: My best friend in the whole flipping world has a 4 month old baby!!! and (unfortunately) still lives in Utah *tear* And now for something completely different: I pierced my nose yesterday ... and she told me my eyes were suposed to water ... they didn't (I was scared for my makeup and I didn't even tear!!!) but it does make kissing a more compicated activity ... lol and NO I'm not engaged ... thanks I think I need a makeover ... I'm almost completely done with the band tshirts and jeans ... still love them but my friends kinda freak out at seeing me in a skirt ... ok ... I think this is passing ... and I've always been grunge ... I'm not sure I know how do be anything else ... it's sad. I now am a house cleaner, for the same people I babysit for ... so now I am to clean the house and babysit not complicated right? Now I am expected to clean my room! and the rest of the house ... because "If I can do it for someone else, there is no reason why I can't do it at home." I am in such big trouble!! My mom has now taken a whole new light to hassling me about my weight. My hips and my ribs have always been like just short of sticking straight out of my skin and now she is like well, they are supposed to BE sticking straight out of my skin, and I think that looks gross (sepecially if you've seen me). I just think that it's stupid to change who I am for someone else, especially if it would require me to have bones in places I don't want them. Not to mention that I'm not that fat!!!! It's just really depressing to have my mother (who is not all that thin herself) chew me out all the time for being a little chubby ... if I could fix it I would. To all of the depressed fat chicks out there ... this shot's for you!!!! P.S. I totally love my BF right now!!! and playing GTO yesterday rocked my socks off ... taking out my agression with a bus!!!!! die cops, die ...Created 2006-01-16 21:03:56

Journal: whoohoo -------------------------------------------Mood: In Love Not all scars show. Not all wounds heal. Sometimes you can't always see the pain somone feels. ...Created 2006-01-10 02:44:36

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