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dotsJournal: Engine Driverdots
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Mood: Depressed

The Engine Driver- The Decemberists

I'm an engine driver
On a long run, on a long run
Would I work beside her
She's a long one, such a long one

And if you don't love me let me go
And if you don't love me let me go

I'm a country lineman
On a high line, on a high line
So will be my grandson
There are powerlines in our bloodlines

And if you don't love me let me go
And if you don't love me let me go

And I am a writer, writer of fictions
I am the heart that you call home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones
My bones
My bones

I'm a money lender
I have fortunes upon fortunes
Take my hand for tender
I am tortured, ever tortured

And if you don't love me let me go
And if you don't love me let me go

And I am a writer, writer of fictions
I am the heart that you call home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones
I am a writer, I am all that you have home
Home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones
My bones
My bones

...Created 2005-04-11 20:33:17

dotsJournal: 3 Librasdots
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Mood: Depressed

Threw you the obvious
And you flew with it on your back
A name in your recollection
Down among a million, say:
Difficult enough to feel a little bit
Disappointed, passed over.
When I've looked right through,
To see you naked and oblivious
and you don't see me

Well I threw you the obvious,
Just to see if there's more behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel,
Eyes of a tragedy.

Here I am expecting just a little bit
Too much from the wounded
But I see,
See through it all,
See through,
And see you.

So I threw you the obvious
Do you see what occurs behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel
Eyes of a tragedy

Well, oh well..

Apparently nothing.
Apparently nothing at all.

You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me at all

...Created 2005-04-11 03:20:53

dotsJournal: Decemberistsdots
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Mood: The Usual

Here are two songs that I enjoy (out of quite alot) by The Decemberists....their lyrics inspire me....

Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect

And here I dreamt I was a soldier
And I marched the streets of Birkenau
And I recall in spring
The perfume that the air would bring
To the indolent town
Where the barkers call the moon down
The carnival was ringing loudly now
And just to lay with you
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
Save lay my rifle down

And try one, and try two
Guess it always comes down to
Alright, it’s ok, guess it's better to turn this way

And I am nothing of a builder
But here I dreamt I was an architect
And I built this balustrade
To keep you home, to keep you safe
From the outside world
But the angles and the corners,
Even though my work is unparalleled,
They never seemed to meet
This structure fell about our feet
And we were free to go

And try one, and try two
Guess it always comes down to
Alright, ok, guess it's better to turn this way

And here in Spain I am a Spaniard
I will be buried with my marionettes
Countess and courtesan
Will fall beneath my tender hand
When their husbands were not around
But you, my soiled teenage girlfriend
Or are you furrowed like a lioness
And we are vagabonds
We travel without seatbelts on
We live this close to death

And try one, and try two
I guess it always comes down to
Alright, it’s ok, guess it's better to turn this
But I won, so you lose
Guess it always comes down to
Alright, it’s ok, guess it's better to turn this way



A Cautionary Song

there's a place your mother goes when everybody else is soundly sleeping
through the lights of beacon street
and if you listen you can hear her weeping, she's weeping,
cause the gentlemen are calling and the snow is softly falling on her petticoats
and she's standing in the harbor and she's waiting for the sailors in the jolly boat
see how they approach

with dirty hands and trousers torn they grapple 'til she's safe within their keeping
a gag is placed between her lips to keep her sorry tongue from any speaking, or screaming
and they row her out to packets where the sailor's sorry racket calls for maidenhead
and she's scarce above the gunwales when her clothes fall to a bundle and she's laid in bed on the upper deck

and so she goes from ship to ship, her ankles clasped, her arms so rudely pinioned
'til at last she's satisfied the lot of the marina's teeming minions and their opinions

and they tell her not to say a thing to cousin, kindred, kith or kin or she'll end up dead
and they throw her dirty dollars and return her to the habor where she goes to bed
and this is how your fed

so be kind to your mother
though she may seem an awful bother
and the next time she tries to feed you collard greens
remember what she does when you're asleep

...Created 2005-04-10 02:18:09

dotsJournal: SADdots
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Mood: The Usual

*sigh*......

...Created 2005-04-10 02:11:56

dotsJournal: Do Da Do Dadots
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Mood: Thinking...

Diddy Diddy Dum Dum....Well I am at work bored as hell...alone....depressed(as always).....I was looking in the catalog for possible occupations I can pursue... I have no fucking clue what I am going to do with my life, I have no real talents, I know how to annoy people and piss them off....maybe I can be a telemarketer or a bill collector??? Maybe a car saleswoman.....I am slightly interested in nursing but I dont have the motivation....ok enough with the bum talk...I have been having these weird dreams lately they seem so real when I am sleeping, but any person in their right mind would know that they are too weird to be real....In one dream it rained right by where I live and I went fishing in the puddles down the dip...everytime I would catch a catfish I would put it to the side and it would turn into a creepy looking horse that gallops or walks off in the weirdest way...one time a pink blind catfish turned into a pink blind horse that went walking slowly down a road and a car went driving by and deliberately runs the horse over I didn't feel the slightest bit of sadness.... the last fish my dad caught before I woke up turned into a twin of himself....he said "That is it, I am finally finished. I have found what I have spent my entire life looking for....myself and now I must die." That is when I woke up.....crazy ass dream...... In another dream my pet turtle whom is actually the size of the palm of my hand was bigger and she was trying to dig and find something but she wanted me to dig so she started yelping like a puppy (come on what kind of turtle does that?) I started digging and I found a heart and it had Travis's nametag on it O_o.... it had a message "If anyone shall find this heart please return it to it's rightful owner." ....Right then I woke up again....In another dream I was a McDonalds frenchfry and a fat guy was trying to pick me up and eat me...I was hopping away from his drool and fat finger when suddenly I fall into a pool of ketchup.... I couldn't swim and the fat guy picked me up and took a bite....thats when I woke up again..........man I must be on something to have these dreams.....I miss my Travis.....:(

...Created 2005-04-06 13:49:23

dotsJournal: This Song :(dots
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Mood: Sniffle...

Bowl of Oranges-Bright Eyes
this song....shows how I feel sometimes....

The rain it started tappin'
On the window near my bed
There was a loophole in my dreamin'
So I got out of it
And to my surprise my eyes were wide and already open
Just my nightstand and my dresser
Where those nightmares had just been

So I dressed myself and left then
Out into the gray streets
But everything seemed different
And completely new to me
The sky the trees, houses, buildings, even my own body
And each person I encountered
I couldn't wait to meet

And I came upon a doctor
Who appeared in quite poor health
I said there's nothing that I can do for you you can't do for yourself
He said oh yes you can, just hold my hand, I think that that would help
So I sat with him awhile
Then I asked him how he felt

He said I think I'm cured
No, in fact, I'm sure of it
Thank you, stranger
For your therapeutic smile

So that's how I learned the lesson
That everyone's alone
And your eyes must do some raining
If you're ever gonna grow
And when crying don't help
You can't compose yourself
It's best to compose a poem
An honest verse of longing
Or a simple song of hope

That's why I'm singing baby don't worry
'Cause now I got your back
And every time you feel like crying
I'm gonna try and make you laugh
And if I can't
If it just hurts too bad
Then we'll wait for it to pass
And I will keep you company for those days so long and black

And we'll keep working on the problem
We know we'll never solve
Of love's uneven remainders
Our lives are fractions of a whole
But if the world could remain within a frame
Like a painting on a wall
Then I think we'd see the beauty then
We'd stand staring in awe

At our still lives posed
Like a bowl of oranges
Like a story told
By the fault-lines and the soil

...Created 2005-03-20 14:58:44

dotsJournal: *sigh*dots
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Mood: Depressed

Well, I have been having a bad couple of days based on things that have happened...I wish that the book of life had answers in the back....

...Created 2005-03-18 11:30:20

dotsJournal: SammySuedots
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Mood: Sick

Well, I have decided to join this entertaining site, the writers here seem to have great talent.....I hope that my writing wont be too boring...:P

...Created 2005-03-17 11:40:48