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    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    I'm baaaack!
    I've been gone forever it seems.

    ...Created 2008-06-24 01:30:54

    dotsJournal: BUSY!dots
    Mood: The Usual

    I feel like I can finally breathe. I'm here at school of course, but at least I'm finally back, for good this time! I'll catch up on poems and the forum after school, I need to go to homeroom now.

    ...Created 2007-11-06 06:38:04

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    hey everybody sorry i was gone for so long...i'll comment on anybody's new/old stuff when i get the time. Peace...

    ...Created 2007-02-09 13:45:00

    dotsJournal: violent peacedots
    Mood: personalize this fuckers!

    I just noticed, as I usually do when no one's around and my mind tends to wonder, that I have no stereotype...I'm happy, but then again I'm not...I'm happy because I hate stereotypes, but sad because it's like there are few groups I can completely and totally relate to.

    I'm not completely goth, hardly emo, not preppy at all though I do listen to some pop music, not ghetto even though there are some rap and hip-hop songs that I do like (I'll admit that), I'm not anything...I take this to be a good thing. Maybe I'm beyond all that labeling shit...I've surpassed the high school High-Archy stage...where everyone has a group and label and knows who to hang with and who not to. I'll talk to pretty much anyone. I'll accept anyone who accepts me, if someone doesn't, that's there loss and not mine. ..

    I try my hardest not to judge people...people are people, let them be who they want to be, let them be called what they want to be called, let them dress and listen to whatever they want to wear and listen to...but it's like I have to mentally slap myself across the face sometimes, to tell myself not to judge a person.

    Then at one point in your life you'll come across someone you cannot label, cannot judge, so you force yourself to call them weird or a poser...or perhaps you just don't care. But then you can't get around these people, you know? It's like, who and what the fuck are you? You dress like this, listen to this, talk like this, act like this and are interested in that and each and every category of this person's so odd...these people hold your really grasp least for me, they do.

    Then I'll sit here some days and wonder if people don't think much of me...because I get so many labels sometimes, which is how I came to the conclusion that people really can't put one label on me...people grow and change over the years...which brings a kind of hope for me...makes me think that i won't be the way I am makes me smile.

    What doesn't make me smile is the question, "what if people think I'm some kind of poser because I don't dress one particular way or listen to one particular version of music?"

    I guess my answer to my own question is that I truly am beyond all that shit....i just don't care anymore. Why should I? It's human nature to judge others, I size up opponents and beat them down if they pose threat...we may not be conscious of it, but we do...

    I also notice that humanity in general is a violent and savage race. Yeah, sure, there are those out there that want peace, but do we ever take notice of the measures we go to gain that peace...We fight for peace, we kill for peace, we kill ourselves to end wars raging on inside our own minds...even peace isn't peaceful. Nothing seems to be without violence. We love to watch football games and wrestling matches and scream our heads off when an opponent makes and good beat down and tackle..."kill em'" "take em' out!" we shout at the TV screen...does that say nothing to us? Does that say nothing to you? My only answer to this thing is that we truly are animals...but we've become far too intelligent for our own good and we're slowly destroying ourselves with intellect...we build bombs that could blow away our world...maybe even our universe...we make bullets and weapons that can blow up inside a person...we make fire arms with built in computers so intelligent that the bullets can detect heat waves and track their victim down like a missile...the shooter wouldn't even need to look around the corner...just point the gun around the bend, finger on the trigger and ended...Honestly I think we've forgotten our own nature...We're not in touch with nature any fact we kill it and tear it down to build ugly establishments to live in...whatever happened to a good ol' log cabin...they aren't so ugly.

    Some days I think the homeless people have got it real good...I know many of them die and shit, but think about it. They don't have to worry about taxes or money...they are truly free...some days I think I'd rather be homeless.

    Schools don't teach this fact, the education system teaches it what it thinks will "help" us later in algebra and stuff like that...but when has numbers or biology and sciences ever done anything to help and math are what create our weaponry, our arsenals that are suicides bombs ticking in the wait. Schools don't teach us what we really need to know in life...all they teach is get good grades, go to college and be somebody...some days I think being somebody will be the death of our country....

    Yet we're fascinated with violence...we get high off of it...we revel in it...We're amazed by what humanity can do these days with technology and machinery...We're animals...predators...but we've taken things far too serious...way too far. Humanity...I now hate it when someone says something is "so inhumane"...humane is violent...humanity is violent and I'm sick of it...but there is nowhere on this earth that isn't violent and I'm not about to kill myself to get out of it...I want to change it by saying what I have to say here, and maybe change a few peoples minds with what I have to type, say, etc...

    We're destroying our selves...I highly respect M. Luther King Jr. but maybe his dream really was a dream...things have gotten better, but not by much...everyone is scrutinized and pushed around...nothing has really changed. To us violence begetting violence equals peace...I remember watches Saddam Husein hung over Internet...I really was smiling and enjoying it...later i was disgusted with myself...I felt as death and blood hungry as he was...wanting to see "the enemy" die and painful death.

    I would force this entire world to read this if I could, but I only have a few people commenting my, maybe i will be somebody someday...but a good who is not out there for the money or the spoils of war...but one who ends it with the power of words...I just hope people take this seriously...this is no joke...this is my dream...or what is the becoming of a dream.

    ...Created 2007-01-15 17:28:48

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    I have yet another random, now hateful, depression

    ...Created 2006-12-23 19:54:53

    dotsJournal: depresseddots
    Mood: desserped

    I have a random depression...:(

    ...Created 2006-11-11 23:23:22

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    i wrote something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ...Created 2006-11-11 18:59:16

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: ponder

    I hate it when I'm listening to a sad song, and it only makes me sadder than I already am...but it's not just the's the level of understanding that the song seems to have with my own problems, or maybe it's the other way around. It's just the simple fact that despite how many poems or song lyrics I write or attempt to write, I could never have thought of words good enough to express the way I'm feeling...And then I hear this song, and it's like, damn...Why didn't I think of this? Over the thousands of times I've tried to understand this or write this down, this person said it exactly as it is...I hate that sometimes...but then again, the fact that at least someone knows where you're coming is a good feeling, I guess. It's still not the same.
    Do you ever read something and it just sticks to you. Not because you memorized it or studied it, but when you're reading a book or lyrics to a song, something just stands out to you and hits you so hard...I hate it sometimes.

    ...Created 2006-11-06 21:24:06

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    why is it that the one person you find and they really take your breath away, that you have no chance with them? Why is it that they will never accept nor understand who you are, or care for your differences...? I just want to know.

    ...Created 2006-11-06 21:17:15

    dotsJournal: title heredots
    Mood: The Usual

    yeah, love sucks, it's not fair, but at least it exists, right?

    ...Created 2006-10-21 16:16:49

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




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