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    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    New boyfriend. New school. New life. I'm in college now so I should be alright...right? Why does this stupid past keep haunting me!

    Time for a little more therapy?

    ...Created 2009-10-05 23:22:00

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    I'm going back to China on Monday and I can't figure out if i should be scared or excited.

    ...Created 2009-06-17 19:54:26

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    I graduate in 3 weeks!!! YIPPEEEEEE.

    ...Created 2009-05-13 09:01:34

    dotsJournal: Passoverdots
    Mood: The Usual

    Happy Passover to all my fellow jews. Heres to freedom!!

    ...Created 2009-04-09 09:58:02

    dotsJournal: A little slowdots
    Mood: The Usual

    I think its rather strange that my last journal was from about five months ago, so I guess I will write now.

    Its 2009, I am 17 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for a year and 9 months. Long time right? I thought so. I never thought I would end up the person I am now. Spending most of my time with him, and not being bothered with it. Its all ok. I am content. Thats weird for me. Its been a long time since I was content, not crazy happy and not super depressed. A long time.

    I haven't drunk alcohol since new years, but I haven't been drunk in months. I don't smoke, I am a little more fit than the beginning of the year, and I know kinda-sorta where I stand. Almost have it all planned out. Almost.

    Got accepted to college for next year on thanksgiving, so thats all settled. My grades are decent but of course senioritis has kicked in a lot. Its ok though, I don't mind. Its senior year right?

    I got a part-time job so I should have a little more cash soon, hopefully. I end up spending it all on food and transportation anyways.

    And hey, I guess thats it. I wish it wasn't so fucking cold outside though.

    ...Created 2009-01-16 17:11:32

    dotsJournal: Moved indots
    Mood: The Usual

    As I sat there, sprawled on the floor, waiting for my sister to come back from yet another late night, I realized how old I was. I was 16, the bodies that I had once admired for their tempestuous rages, their sculpted figures and their brainwashed minds, I was one of them. I had become the girl that was seen for her curly locks of golden brown, for her deep-set eyes that tended to pour deep into a person. That was it. I was no longer afraid of it, no longer running toward the grasps of an older adolescent, I had gently slipped into it, and at this point, there was no way out. To some I am still young, still carrying the chubby cheeks of childhood, the baby-fat of infancy, but to me, I have become a slightly lower degree of my fullest form. I have grown up and I have aged. I have watched the days float by, the skies change, and the scenery explode upon seasons exchange.
    We have all become ourselves. A few glitches here and there, to be worked out in time. Yet this is it. I am older, I am wiser, I am changed. I know better then those late nights that used to be my only thrill, I know better than the friends who carried me by their will. I know better than the alchohol, the sex-crazed men. I can teach, and I would teach, if you would let me. This life isnít about how many friends we make, how many girls/guys we kiss, how many late nights and bar lights. Itís about yourself, it is about your journey, and it is about the fun you have while experiencing it all.

    ...Created 2008-08-22 02:54:01

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    I love him. I love him more than life itself. So why must it be so hard to keep him close? To hold him? To be with him...

    ...Created 2008-05-31 00:43:20

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    Scariest dream ever last night and I cant stop thinking about it.

    ...Created 2008-05-19 07:21:40

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    When I was with him, I pushed him away.
    When I loved him, I suffocated him.
    When he was happy to be suffocated.
    But when I needed him, I pushed him away.
    When I chose him, I shunned him.
    And now that I have completely taken him away.
    I love him, I need him, and I wish he was here.
    What to do next?

    ONE MONTH LEFT, till home again.

    ...Created 2008-05-13 05:42:57

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    Back in Beijing.
    Oh great.

    ...Created 2008-02-17 07:00:52

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Genesis written by saartha
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore




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