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    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    New boyfriend. New school. New life. I'm in college now so I should be alright...right? Why does this stupid past keep haunting me!

    Time for a little more therapy?

    ...Created 2009-10-05 23:22:00

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    I'm going back to China on Monday and I can't figure out if i should be scared or excited.

    ...Created 2009-06-17 19:54:26

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    I graduate in 3 weeks!!! YIPPEEEEEE.

    ...Created 2009-05-13 09:01:34

    dotsJournal: Passoverdots
    Mood: The Usual

    Happy Passover to all my fellow jews. Heres to freedom!!

    ...Created 2009-04-09 09:58:02

    dotsJournal: A little slowdots
    Mood: The Usual

    I think its rather strange that my last journal was from about five months ago, so I guess I will write now.

    Its 2009, I am 17 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for a year and 9 months. Long time right? I thought so. I never thought I would end up the person I am now. Spending most of my time with him, and not being bothered with it. Its all ok. I am content. Thats weird for me. Its been a long time since I was content, not crazy happy and not super depressed. A long time.

    I haven't drunk alcohol since new years, but I haven't been drunk in months. I don't smoke, I am a little more fit than the beginning of the year, and I know kinda-sorta where I stand. Almost have it all planned out. Almost.

    Got accepted to college for next year on thanksgiving, so thats all settled. My grades are decent but of course senioritis has kicked in a lot. Its ok though, I don't mind. Its senior year right?

    I got a part-time job so I should have a little more cash soon, hopefully. I end up spending it all on food and transportation anyways.

    And hey, I guess thats it. I wish it wasn't so fucking cold outside though.

    ...Created 2009-01-16 17:11:32

    dotsJournal: Moved indots
    Mood: The Usual

    As I sat there, sprawled on the floor, waiting for my sister to come back from yet another late night, I realized how old I was. I was 16, the bodies that I had once admired for their tempestuous rages, their sculpted figures and their brainwashed minds, I was one of them. I had become the girl that was seen for her curly locks of golden brown, for her deep-set eyes that tended to pour deep into a person. That was it. I was no longer afraid of it, no longer running toward the grasps of an older adolescent, I had gently slipped into it, and at this point, there was no way out. To some I am still young, still carrying the chubby cheeks of childhood, the baby-fat of infancy, but to me, I have become a slightly lower degree of my fullest form. I have grown up and I have aged. I have watched the days float by, the skies change, and the scenery explode upon seasons exchange.
    We have all become ourselves. A few glitches here and there, to be worked out in time. Yet this is it. I am older, I am wiser, I am changed. I know better then those late nights that used to be my only thrill, I know better than the friends who carried me by their will. I know better than the alchohol, the sex-crazed men. I can teach, and I would teach, if you would let me. This life isnít about how many friends we make, how many girls/guys we kiss, how many late nights and bar lights. Itís about yourself, it is about your journey, and it is about the fun you have while experiencing it all.

    ...Created 2008-08-22 02:54:01

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    I love him. I love him more than life itself. So why must it be so hard to keep him close? To hold him? To be with him...

    ...Created 2008-05-31 00:43:20

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    Scariest dream ever last night and I cant stop thinking about it.

    ...Created 2008-05-19 07:21:40

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    When I was with him, I pushed him away.
    When I loved him, I suffocated him.
    When he was happy to be suffocated.
    But when I needed him, I pushed him away.
    When I chose him, I shunned him.
    And now that I have completely taken him away.
    I love him, I need him, and I wish he was here.
    What to do next?

    ONE MONTH LEFT, till home again.

    ...Created 2008-05-13 05:42:57

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    Back in Beijing.
    Oh great.

    ...Created 2008-02-17 07:00:52

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Every..... written by jackz
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23




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    January 10 07
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