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    dotsJournal: Failuredots
    Mood: Frustrated

    The one thing many try to avoid
    the insecurity,
    the feeling of your world departing
    nothing feels right,
    nor feels worthwhile
    your thoughts are fears
    failure spreads
    it seems to neverending

    thoughts, dreams....
    they are nothing more now
    than failure anymore

    ...Created 2008-03-24 21:15:45

    dotsJournal: every now and .dots
    Mood: Sad

    Every now and than I think about this site, I barely use it like I used to. Whenever I used to feel different emotions, it was this that I turned to. My so called poetry helped me through the tough times. Or so I think, I may not remember much.
    My year is no different from last, it's exactly repeating itself. I cannot conclude why. High School is suppose to be the time of your life. Seriously, it hasn't yet been the time of my life.
    My thoughts haven't changed, I'm hung up with something from the past. It's never going to go away, I know it's not. It's the only thing, I want to go away.

    ...Created 2007-12-14 21:08:55

    dotsJournal: ahhdots
    Mood: Thinking.

    Well my moms been a bitch the past few weeks. I have a feeling why, but than again she's always a bitch.
    Anyways I saw this picture, not saying of what or who. It absolutely shocked and frightened me. I can honestly say I don't know why. The picture made me think long and hard, it made me have second thoughts. My whole night consisted of thinking about the picture. WTF is up with that???
    So my vacation was good, and I loved every moment. Even the dull parts. Although, the sucky part is always saying goodbye to the who you were with, and the place you were at. That sounds corny, but it's true. I didn't want to leave. Even though I new I couldn't wait to come home, sleep in my own bed and see my animals.
    So today I have a meeting to help out with VBS, but I'm not going, which is like the fourth meeting I've missed. We have another meeting on Sunday too, I don't know if I can attend that either. Than Monday starts VBS, I don't think I can make it Monday because Tennis starts.
    I'm kind of nervous about tennis, because I've never really played before. Hopefully I don't suck and what not.
    So my schedule for next week is packed. Monday-VBS(not sure if I'm going to go) and tennis. Tues-VBS (break from tennis) Wed VBS, tennis and the whole week consists of that. Including the weekends, which completely blows.
    Well I got to go clean my room and do the dishes.

    ...Created 2007-08-10 12:26:56

    dotsJournal: Long Timedots
    Mood: waiting for something

    I'm quite bored, and just waiting till four in the morning. So I can leave this state. I've left the state quite a few times this year, to various locations down south. I absolutely love it, because then all my thoughts escape and I don't have to think about anything going on in my life at the moment.
    I don't understand many things going on right now. They are to confusing and I don't feel like explaining them to anybody. I rather just write them down, for later reference.
    On this rainy, thundering day it reminds me of that someone. The someone I haven't been able to get out of my head for almost a year. What the hell is up with that???
    As for drama, there is less than usual. Obviously, because it's the summer.
    I wish to write more, but I have to leave.

    ...Created 2007-07-27 17:45:22

    dotsJournal: The Past ...dots

    Over the past months, I have learned alot. I've learned that you can't expect for something so great to happen, b/c it won't happen. I'm sick of thinking that the things I want, I will get. I haven't got any of it. I also learned that when you look for something that you really want in life, you can't find it.

    ...Created 2007-02-27 15:51:10

    dotsJournal: Why Should I ..dots
    Mood: Confused

    Why should I care..

    Anyways so the boy I like. I screwed everything up, and its the dumbest thing ever.. Why can't i keep my mouth shut.. I am really gahh.. I always want to get rid of boys, and always try to find something wrong with them. But for this guy, I haven't really picked up anything wrong with him. Except for a few minor ones. But yeah, now he doesn't like me as he used to. I think he likes another girl. I try to avoid the situation. But I really feel like I still want to hang out with him. I really like him. But I don't think its gonna work..
    So I really want to go to the fair with a couple ppl, and I want him to come. But i doubt he will. I just hope he would change his mind.


    ...Created 2006-08-01 16:55:47

    dotsJournal: "Summer''dots
    Mood: Iffy

    Summer, has been ok, for the most part. I just don't like the fact that I am constantly bored and there isn't much to be done. I can't wait to I get to see my friends.. and that guy..
    Although, I am not really excited about it as much as I used to be.
    Maybe because everytime that I think I might have found that right person, I pick the things out that might make me want to turn away from him.
    I just can't stand it when I am like this. I mean maybe I am afraid, but I don't really know what I'm afraid of.
    It just kills me that I never give any guys a chance, but I want a chance with them. I do. But, my opionion changes rapidly on them. I just want to put my picky self aside, and let someone actually be there in my life. That I can actually depend on, and actually will really care about.

    ...Created 2006-07-21 21:01:06

    dotsJournal: Woahdots
    Mood: The Usual

    I haven't been writing on here in a while. I am usually caught up on myspace. Thats why I don't have time to read and comment or write. Hopefully as soon as I can get a break from school and other things I will start to read and comment once again.

    Love yall
    <3 stephanie

    ...Created 2005-11-19 08:58:12

    dotsJournal: Um Idkdots
    Mood: Dead

    Literally I'm dead. I don't know why.. I ran the mile.. Got an ok time.. than I ran an extra lap to help someone come in before 12 min, and she did.. So that was good. But hard cuz she kept stopping..
    Matt Oh yeah.. lol... Its going good.. I guess. But this one Girl getting in the way.. gosh. I mean we are friends... But gosh go for someone else.. thats what she should do... urgh I have no idea how matt feels. But he told me so I guess that is good..

    Sorry I haven't been commenting. I've been trying.. lol like one every week.. but I've been so busy.. With soccer, school, and other clubs.. Plus Matt <3... I hope something actually happens interesting... lol
    Maybe tomorrow lol.
    Oh well I hope everything goes good..

    NOw going to do.. 10 pds of homework.. Literally!

    I'll update later!

    <3 Stephanie

    ...Created 2005-09-28 18:32:52

    dotsJournal: BOREDdots
    Mood: The Usual

    summer breeze
    wipes me away
    I get up fast
    and I think
    of what to do
    I open up my eyes
    on a sunshine morning
    thinking of you
    and one more thing.

    ...Created 2005-09-24 17:55:01

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




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    January 10 07
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