Journal:  -------------------------------------------Mood: Thinking...Well, I finally decided to create a new journal entry. It's sunday, the weather's great, and there's nothing to disturb me.
So first of all, about the contest. I really couldn't believe I won it, I read all the other writes, and I have to say they were all good, and we're all winners just for writing. Thanks a lot to everyone who read the Northern Lights. It feels good to know that other people appreciate your work.
I haven't been writing a lot these days. I've lost all inspiration. It's sad. I've been thinking a lot about spirituality, and god, and I think I'm losing my faith pretty fast. I don't want to believe in an Allah who wouldn't want to accept as I am, but on the other hand i need someone to depend upon in case things go wrong. It's sad because even though i don't want to believe in god, I just have to. I need someone to talk to when i feel like shit. There might be an Allah for all i know, but I'm sure it's not this one.
And yes, I turned 17 yesterday. Had a party. Was trashed... Tried to smoke pot, and for all you people who don't know, I'm allergic to smoke. so that kinda sucked, cause i didn't like being high at all. it just made feel like shit, cause i couldn't control what i was doing even though i wanted to. i passed out later. i had fun though. F was so drunk, never thought he would get drunk (in six months of partying with him, i've never seen him drunk), and A turned up somehow, with two girls. I funally forced myself to wake up, and everyone was soooo drunk. It was almost funny. They're like watching porn and forcing me to drink (the girls even tried to put T in a dress). And then later on F (who was really trashed) and N were watching porn. And of course M and R were sleeping cause they were both so stoned. more so than me.
so it was an eventful seventeenth birthday party, everybody even sang happy birthday, but i was sleeping. =P...Created 2006-04-23 20:28:04 |
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