Sign up to EliteSkills

Journal: -------------------------------------------Mood: Just Hungry "I'm not afraid to keep on living I'm not afraid to walk this world alone." MCR did get it right (for once) ...Created 2007-10-31 14:10:11

Journal: -------------------------------------------Mood: Straightening things out... Getting over someone is a little hard. ...Created 2007-10-27 02:10:41

Journal: -------------------------------------------Mood: Thinking... .... i like life.... ...Created 2006-12-03 02:00:16

Journal: -------------------------------------------Mood: The Usual I'm so tired of being called irresponsible. it's really fucking getting to me. i've half a mind to become sooooo "responsible" suddenly that everybody actually misses the old zuheir. i'd do that just to spite em all. and tell you what. i'll do it... ...Created 2006-10-08 13:26:43

Journal: ............... -------------------------------------------Mood: Sigh... mood swings seem to get to me a lot nowadays. I'm fine right now, but I never know when I'll crack. It's actually scary living at the moment. I never know when I just fall into depression. It's like being at the bottom of a chasm while the sun is shining: You're at the bottom, but you're happy at least the sun is shining, but then you realise that you're still at the bottom of a chasm...... ...Created 2006-08-23 08:52:28

Journal: -------------------------------------------Mood: The Usual why are people so stupid? why do they fail to realise that sometimes it's better to leave someone alone? to elabourate, i have not really been in the best of moods lately. i seem to think that my best friend is an idiot who needs to be shot to death, my girlfriend is someone who never leaves me alone for a single moment of my life, my parents people who claim that they understand me but really don't at all. Everyone around me comes across as a hypcrite. thats what people are. hypcrites. every single one of them. why does it matter to anyone whatever someone else does? why do they even fucking CARE what i do, or anyone else for that matter? is it such a big crime to even be fucking alone? i try being alone at home, my parents say that i never talk to them, i try being alone in school, my girlfriend refuses to leave me. why do people fail to understand that sometimes i just become anti-social? i just don't bloody want to talk to them. it's just me. like it or not. ...Created 2006-08-08 02:10:06

Journal: hmmmm -------------------------------------------Mood: Thinking... so... after ten months of sheer weirdness, i'm finally leaving the united states. i'm going back home, india, land of the lively, land of crazy traffic, and of course, land of the best fucking cricket team in the world. to sum up my whole year would be too hard. it's been awsome though. i've done things i really wouldn't have thought i would have done otherwise. i have thoroughly enjoyed my stay here. yeah it was hard sometimes, but i've managed not to be too judgemental, not to make stereotypes, tried not to make too many mistakes (but still ended making loads of them), and hopefully i come back a better person. i'm really excited about going back home, really am. the initial period of sadness about leaving the states is wearing off. i'll still remember this country though, and i'll remember eugene, OR. but to tell you the truth, however clichéd it might sound, there IS no place as home. there simply cannot be a place like my home. and so yet another chapter in my life closes in the following week as i make my way back to ahmedabad, and i'm looking forward to getting back home and experiencing the wide array of people, colours, noises, smells, all of which portray an amazing experience that you could call india. i'm really excited. ...Created 2006-06-25 02:24:43

Journal: -------------------------------------------Mood: Thinking... Well, I finally decided to create a new journal entry. It's sunday, the weather's great, and there's nothing to disturb me. So first of all, about the contest. I really couldn't believe I won it, I read all the other writes, and I have to say they were all good, and we're all winners just for writing. Thanks a lot to everyone who read the Northern Lights. It feels good to know that other people appreciate your work. I haven't been writing a lot these days. I've lost all inspiration. It's sad. I've been thinking a lot about spirituality, and god, and I think I'm losing my faith pretty fast. I don't want to believe in an Allah who wouldn't want to accept as I am, but on the other hand i need someone to depend upon in case things go wrong. It's sad because even though i don't want to believe in god, I just have to. I need someone to talk to when i feel like shit. There might be an Allah for all i know, but I'm sure it's not this one. And yes, I turned 17 yesterday. Had a party. Was trashed... Tried to smoke pot, and for all you people who don't know, I'm allergic to smoke. so that kinda sucked, cause i didn't like being high at all. it just made feel like shit, cause i couldn't control what i was doing even though i wanted to. i passed out later. i had fun though. F was so drunk, never thought he would get drunk (in six months of partying with him, i've never seen him drunk), and A turned up somehow, with two girls. I funally forced myself to wake up, and everyone was soooo drunk. It was almost funny. They're like watching porn and forcing me to drink (the girls even tried to put T in a dress). And then later on F (who was really trashed) and N were watching porn. And of course M and R were sleeping cause they were both so stoned. more so than me. so it was an eventful seventeenth birthday party, everybody even sang happy birthday, but i was sleeping. =P ...Created 2006-04-23 20:28:04

Journal: -------------------------------------------Mood: Thinking... how do you feel whe nyou go out with a girl just cause you want her body, and not really HER? ask me, i oughta know... ...Created 2006-04-01 11:24:15

Journal: -------------------------------------------Mood: The Usual i have a bad cold. and i miss everyone back home too. not a good combination. for those who actually read this journal, there's been good news. we found a drummer and we're on our way! i had a good weekend. but now i'm really sick. and i bet i gave it to the others too. we all had vodka shots from the same glasses. i don't think i'm going to school tomorrow. i'm really sick.... ...Created 2006-02-14 00:06:17