Journal: Apology -------------------------------------------Mood: Straightening things out... I owe you all an apology for my incompetence on the forum lately. Some of the comments I owe are almost half a year old, and I have less and less time each day to think about it, between the paper coming up and exams appearing every which way. I'm also in the process of sorting out some complicated issues with my writing capabilities and some faith-related problems, and I may not be able to write much for a while yet. Once again, to all those on my stalk list, I am sorry I've fallen so far behind on commenting; to all who have commented on my stuff, I will get back to you. I'll try to get back online as soon as possible. Until then-- --crimson echo ...Created 2008-03-02 22:06:50

Journal: Worldbreaker -------------------------------------------Mood: ...bloody heck, my head hurts... and a hundred broken corpses walk upon the fields of grey searching for the water's edge to wash their lives away first comes the task of standing up in lines two bodies deep and then the hollow (reasoned) task of marching in their sleep and each of several monuments for these, the nameless, sway a hundred broken corpses drown in a quiet bay. ...Created 2008-01-04 12:23:11

Journal: @#&%#!!! -------------------------------------------Mood: AGHH!!! ... First off, my legs still hurt from the fact that I overused them yesterday with that outdoor run in the cold. Secondly, I have an exam in less than an hour and can not remember a single word that I read. Third, I have a math quiz later today (and still can't remember a single lesson of the new chapter). And now I finally got my fencing gear, only to discover that they gave me the wrong glove and a jacket about two sizes too small, of which the teeth broke off the zipper when I tried to put it on so now I can't return it for a refund. As if that weren't enough, I've got a paper due next week, all kinds of readings to prepare for, and still can't focus on anything with any degree of accuracy. THIS IS NOT A GOOD WEEK. [headdesk] ... --crimson ...Created 2007-11-08 09:18:48

Journal: Bleargh... -------------------------------------------Mood: The Usual Title just about sums it up. I'm driving myself crazy with this absentmindedness. It'll get even better on Wednesday; I have a major exam then. For right now I just have some reading and math homework. And I need to concern myself with memorizations for English class, or else I won't get my 50 points and therefore won't be allowed the credit for the class. Fortunately I know exactly which poems I have to memorize; unfortunately I'm not sure how much time I have to do it. So perhaps I should get started on that, neh? In other news, I have a story trying to come into existence with only three characters, one of them nameless and the other two faceless. The one without a name accidentally disintegrates himself at some point. Anyway. I've got some kind of homework to do. --crimson ...Created 2007-11-05 13:02:32

Journal: Confusion -------------------------------------------Mood: Head Aching I won't bother to question what's going on in my head right now. There's no use. I suppose it's a combination of factors at this point: the fact that I've written nothing of note in over three months, the fact that I constantly feel like I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing... I'm just...not myself. And yet every time I try to think it over and figure out exactly what it is that I'm supposed to be about, I find myself thinking about something completely different. Or getting distracted by such things as "hey, music" or "I wonder if I can beat that level I got stuck on yesterday..." Add that to constant tiredness and an overall feeling of "I must be forgetting something important," and I'm just not in the best of ways at the moment. I can't even concentrate long enough to comment seriously--(those of you that I still owe can take that as an indication that no, I haven't forgotten you, and you'd better believe you'll get your responses as soon as possible)--it's just as if every power of concentration I had has disappeared and been replaced by a subliminal desire to curl up and sleep for a couple years. ...Dammit. I don't know what's wrong with me lately. --crimson ...Created 2007-10-29 22:17:24

Journal: Midterm week? -------------------------------------------Mood: ...I...see light! Ugh... I've got two major tests tomorrow, followed by...absolutely nothing. Five day break, complete with slight reduction in workload. I'm not sure if that's a good thing, though; having a short break usually means it'll be even worse when I come back. In other news, I jumped out of the top bunk the other day and landed with my foot squarely on a bokken (which hurts, by the way) and have been limping since... And I've been sick the past four days. Eh. Such is life... In any case, I need this vacation... --crimson ...Created 2007-10-16 19:24:08

Journal: Tiring out -------------------------------------------Mood: Overwhelmed The workload's only piling higher, folks. Do I hear three exams? Three quizzes, going once, going twice, goin--hey, thanks to the little old lady in back, we now have a thesis--three and a paper, do I hear any higher bids--? Combine that with my continuing other assignments and a total lack of any kind of free time other than that minimum required to check my e-mail once a day and maybe write half a poem over breakfast, and the fact that I've got an appointment at the blood drive in--oh, say, fifteen minutes, and I am developing a pretty intimate understanding of the definition of the word "stress." I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever get a break from this stuff again. But then, that's what I get for enrolling in one of the toughest schools in the country. Teach me to seek out the best education I could find. Tch. I'm starting to think I'm going crazy. I mean, seriously, I go home over the weekend, sleep through Saturday for lack of rest other times, then have to scramble to get everything else together such as homework and/or depleted supplies (food, clean water, a fall/winter jacket). Then back to work, making the discovery along the way that I have to start beating myself over the head with my English paper because it snuck up on me yet again. I guess I'll have to spend some time in the library later this afternoon. In any case. --crimson ...Created 2007-09-24 13:06:00

Journal: Ohh, YES! -------------------------------------------Mood: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHH! I don't know. It's just I found my missing ID card fifteen seconds ago. So I don't have to pay the student department $20 for a new one. Sing it with me now--HALLELUIA! In other news, the work just keeps on a'comin'. But I think I might've struck some kind of balance. I can't be sure yet. But we'll see how far I get without strangling somebody on this new schedule... ...Created 2007-09-24 05:57:48

Journal: Fear of madness -------------------------------------------Mood: Thinking... It's starting again. That fear I have of certain images, certain stories or characters, driving me to the point that I lose track of what "right" is. I hate the idea of my worst fear being myself--that I can't trust who I am--but there's not really much I can do about it. It's just a good thing I have trustworthy friends and my faith to keep me in line, or I would probably have reserved a room in the rubberwall hotel a long time ago. It's a scary thought, you know? To think that you are your own worst enemy. --crimson ...Created 2007-09-18 12:39:00

Journal: ..... -------------------------------------------Mood: Tired "I spent a few moments wondering why the baseball was getting bigger...Then it hit me." So...much...homework. I am interested in most of the stuff I'm expected to do--motivation isn't the main problem. It's just the fact that we don't even have the time to think properly. You finish the assignment and then don't have the time to absorb it, so by the time you're tested you feel like you forgot it all. I can't even think long enough to remember my own name at the moment, have to keep coming back here to check and make sure it's right before I sign my homework. ...ugh...So...much...HOMEWORK... "You know what happens if you don't pay your exorcist? You get repossessed." --crimson ...Created 2007-09-16 16:12:33

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