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    poetry


    dotsJournal: 2009-2016dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Hopeful

    So it has been about six years since I have posted a journal entry.. Or really since I have frequented this website at all. I check in every now and again but I haven't submitted anything in a very long time. (Not that I imagine anyone except for Jaz is reading this lol) In the short version: I graduated and moved in with a man nineteen years my senior. We were together for four years. Two of them good. The relationship came to an end after about a year of mental and emotional abuse that finally became physical. After he broke my nose and gave me a black eye, I left. I was more lost and ashamed than I ever thought I could be. I reconnected with an old friend who became more of a lover. We were determined to keep our relationship friendly and physical with no emotional ties. He slowly helped me to see that I have the power to be exactly who I want to be and that I can be accepted and appreciated for that. A year and a half later we were married. We had a beautiful wedding with a proper and traditional ceremony and a silly (all-be-it scourching) reception that fulfilled every dream I never even knew I had on the subject. Shortly after we stated trying to get pregnant. It took four months and I realized we had been successful. I knew before I even took the test. Nine months later (really like seven but you know..) I was laying in bed and my water broke. We went to the hospital. My water broke again (cause that's how I do) and at 8:27 PM, 12 hours after my water broke, I got to meet my baby boy. Atlas Link Flippo. The last six months of being a mother have been the hardest of my life. It goes without saying, I feel, that I love him more than I knew I could. When he smiles at me it makes me happy in a way that I never knew existed.
    When he was 6 weeks old I went back to work. I started working with family so I could bring him with me. So now I am working 45 hours a week in a job and a town that I hate. All of the worst, most horrible things that happened to me have happened in this town. I stopped breast feeding shortly after I started working. The combination of events sent me deep into post partum depression. After four months of trying to pull myself together I have finally been making changes that are making me feel better and happier. I am trying to reconnect with my passions: music and writing. So here I am.
    Sorry... did I say short version?

    ...Created 2016-01-14 12:01:19

    dotsJournal: Time to wastedots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Determined

    It's been a while, huh? I am thinking about changing everything. I have been busy lately. With school and work and pretending that I'm working on my house. I plan to, I just never seem to get around to it.
    I had a long talk with my English professor yesterday. Today I am seeming to remember that I am supposed to be living right now. She's been to England three times. I want to go to England.
    I am going to save.
    I am going to travel.
    After I graduate college, I am going to drive.
    Think I'll go where ever I want.
    Probably California.
    Unpack my house.
    Write.
    Major in Psychology.
    Maybe talk to crazy people, maybe go into advertising.
    Either way I'll wear heels to work.

    ...Created 2009-10-06 09:56:19

    dotsJournal: Time to wastedots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Determined

    It's been a while, huh? I am thinking about changing everything. I have been busy lately. With school and work and pretending that I'm working on my house. I plan to, I just never seem to get around to it.
    I had a long talk with my English professor yesterday. Today I am seeming to remember that I am supposed to be living right now. She's been to England three times. I want to go to England.
    I am going to save.
    I am going to travel.
    After I graduate college, I am going to drive.
    Think I'll go where ever I want.
    Probably California.
    Unpack my house.
    Write.
    Major in Psychology.
    Maybe talk to crazy people, maybe go into advertising.
    Either way I'll wear heels to work.
    Hizzah

    ...Created 2009-10-06 09:44:15

    dotsJournal: Relieveddots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Juggling Tasks

    I got into UAH!
    I start this summer
    I also got the Pell Grant...

    I am moving out this summer as soon after graduation as possible.

    May 29

    Hell yes.

    ...Created 2008-12-12 02:21:00

    dotsJournal: Jesus...dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Overwhelmed

    Wow...

    College..
    Shit. When did this happen?
    It wasn't anything but a whim, and now I am meeting scholarship and application deadlines.

    ACT....

    ...Created 2008-09-17 00:44:48

    dotsJournal: Fucking Headachdots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Senior...

    humph. who'd have thought.

    ...Created 2008-08-05 07:07:54

    dotsJournal: dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: You Know

    The Times They Are A Changin'

    ...Created 2008-07-16 00:52:55

    dotsJournal: Heydots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Scary Things, Main

    Don't do that..

    Hey. Heeeey.

    Stop it.

    But you. You don't.


    Got it everyone?

    ...Created 2007-11-08 23:04:37

    dotsJournal: dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: The Usual

    I guess I needed something new to say. SO here it is: I am still alive, who'd 've thunk it, huh? Well, I think we needed some space. Absence maketh my heart grow fonder? Me thinks so.

    ...Created 2007-10-05 22:06:08

    dotsJournal: dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: The Usual

    Army. Yes

    20 weeks.

    Then the rest of six years.

    Leaving.. ... Tuesday.

    T W O D A Y S .

    ...Created 2007-09-03 03:25:33

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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