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    poetry


    dotsJournal: 2009-2016dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Hopeful

    So it has been about six years since I have posted a journal entry.. Or really since I have frequented this website at all. I check in every now and again but I haven't submitted anything in a very long time. (Not that I imagine anyone except for Jaz is reading this lol) In the short version: I graduated and moved in with a man nineteen years my senior. We were together for four years. Two of them good. The relationship came to an end after about a year of mental and emotional abuse that finally became physical. After he broke my nose and gave me a black eye, I left. I was more lost and ashamed than I ever thought I could be. I reconnected with an old friend who became more of a lover. We were determined to keep our relationship friendly and physical with no emotional ties. He slowly helped me to see that I have the power to be exactly who I want to be and that I can be accepted and appreciated for that. A year and a half later we were married. We had a beautiful wedding with a proper and traditional ceremony and a silly (all-be-it scourching) reception that fulfilled every dream I never even knew I had on the subject. Shortly after we stated trying to get pregnant. It took four months and I realized we had been successful. I knew before I even took the test. Nine months later (really like seven but you know..) I was laying in bed and my water broke. We went to the hospital. My water broke again (cause that's how I do) and at 8:27 PM, 12 hours after my water broke, I got to meet my baby boy. Atlas Link Flippo. The last six months of being a mother have been the hardest of my life. It goes without saying, I feel, that I love him more than I knew I could. When he smiles at me it makes me happy in a way that I never knew existed.
    When he was 6 weeks old I went back to work. I started working with family so I could bring him with me. So now I am working 45 hours a week in a job and a town that I hate. All of the worst, most horrible things that happened to me have happened in this town. I stopped breast feeding shortly after I started working. The combination of events sent me deep into post partum depression. After four months of trying to pull myself together I have finally been making changes that are making me feel better and happier. I am trying to reconnect with my passions: music and writing. So here I am.
    Sorry... did I say short version?

    ...Created 2016-01-14 12:01:19

    dotsJournal: Time to wastedots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Determined

    It's been a while, huh? I am thinking about changing everything. I have been busy lately. With school and work and pretending that I'm working on my house. I plan to, I just never seem to get around to it.
    I had a long talk with my English professor yesterday. Today I am seeming to remember that I am supposed to be living right now. She's been to England three times. I want to go to England.
    I am going to save.
    I am going to travel.
    After I graduate college, I am going to drive.
    Think I'll go where ever I want.
    Probably California.
    Unpack my house.
    Write.
    Major in Psychology.
    Maybe talk to crazy people, maybe go into advertising.
    Either way I'll wear heels to work.

    ...Created 2009-10-06 09:56:19

    dotsJournal: Time to wastedots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Determined

    It's been a while, huh? I am thinking about changing everything. I have been busy lately. With school and work and pretending that I'm working on my house. I plan to, I just never seem to get around to it.
    I had a long talk with my English professor yesterday. Today I am seeming to remember that I am supposed to be living right now. She's been to England three times. I want to go to England.
    I am going to save.
    I am going to travel.
    After I graduate college, I am going to drive.
    Think I'll go where ever I want.
    Probably California.
    Unpack my house.
    Write.
    Major in Psychology.
    Maybe talk to crazy people, maybe go into advertising.
    Either way I'll wear heels to work.
    Hizzah

    ...Created 2009-10-06 09:44:15

    dotsJournal: Relieveddots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Juggling Tasks

    I got into UAH!
    I start this summer
    I also got the Pell Grant...

    I am moving out this summer as soon after graduation as possible.

    May 29

    Hell yes.

    ...Created 2008-12-12 02:21:00

    dotsJournal: Jesus...dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Overwhelmed

    Wow...

    College..
    Shit. When did this happen?
    It wasn't anything but a whim, and now I am meeting scholarship and application deadlines.

    ACT....

    ...Created 2008-09-17 00:44:48

    dotsJournal: Fucking Headachdots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Senior...

    humph. who'd have thought.

    ...Created 2008-08-05 07:07:54

    dotsJournal: dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: You Know

    The Times They Are A Changin'

    ...Created 2008-07-16 00:52:55

    dotsJournal: Heydots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Scary Things, Main

    Don't do that..

    Hey. Heeeey.

    Stop it.

    But you. You don't.


    Got it everyone?

    ...Created 2007-11-08 23:04:37

    dotsJournal: dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: The Usual

    I guess I needed something new to say. SO here it is: I am still alive, who'd 've thunk it, huh? Well, I think we needed some space. Absence maketh my heart grow fonder? Me thinks so.

    ...Created 2007-10-05 22:06:08

    dotsJournal: dots
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: The Usual

    Army. Yes

    20 weeks.

    Then the rest of six years.

    Leaving.. ... Tuesday.

    T W O D A Y S .

    ...Created 2007-09-03 03:25:33

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    untitled written by Outlaw
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Starseed written by endlessgame23

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    January 10 07
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