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dotsJournal: 2009-2016dots
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Mood: Hopeful

So it has been about six years since I have posted a journal entry.. Or really since I have frequented this website at all. I check in every now and again but I haven't submitted anything in a very long time. (Not that I imagine anyone except for Jaz is reading this lol) In the short version: I graduated and moved in with a man nineteen years my senior. We were together for four years. Two of them good. The relationship came to an end after about a year of mental and emotional abuse that finally became physical. After he broke my nose and gave me a black eye, I left. I was more lost and ashamed than I ever thought I could be. I reconnected with an old friend who became more of a lover. We were determined to keep our relationship friendly and physical with no emotional ties. He slowly helped me to see that I have the power to be exactly who I want to be and that I can be accepted and appreciated for that. A year and a half later we were married. We had a beautiful wedding with a proper and traditional ceremony and a silly (all-be-it scourching) reception that fulfilled every dream I never even knew I had on the subject. Shortly after we stated trying to get pregnant. It took four months and I realized we had been successful. I knew before I even took the test. Nine months later (really like seven but you know..) I was laying in bed and my water broke. We went to the hospital. My water broke again (cause that's how I do) and at 8:27 PM, 12 hours after my water broke, I got to meet my baby boy. Atlas Link Flippo. The last six months of being a mother have been the hardest of my life. It goes without saying, I feel, that I love him more than I knew I could. When he smiles at me it makes me happy in a way that I never knew existed.
When he was 6 weeks old I went back to work. I started working with family so I could bring him with me. So now I am working 45 hours a week in a job and a town that I hate. All of the worst, most horrible things that happened to me have happened in this town. I stopped breast feeding shortly after I started working. The combination of events sent me deep into post partum depression. After four months of trying to pull myself together I have finally been making changes that are making me feel better and happier. I am trying to reconnect with my passions: music and writing. So here I am.
Sorry... did I say short version?

...Created 2016-01-14 12:01:19

dotsJournal: Time to wastedots
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Mood: Determined

It's been a while, huh? I am thinking about changing everything. I have been busy lately. With school and work and pretending that I'm working on my house. I plan to, I just never seem to get around to it.
I had a long talk with my English professor yesterday. Today I am seeming to remember that I am supposed to be living right now. She's been to England three times. I want to go to England.
I am going to save.
I am going to travel.
After I graduate college, I am going to drive.
Think I'll go where ever I want.
Probably California.
Unpack my house.
Write.
Major in Psychology.
Maybe talk to crazy people, maybe go into advertising.
Either way I'll wear heels to work.

...Created 2009-10-06 09:56:19

dotsJournal: Time to wastedots
-------------------------------------------
Mood: Determined

It's been a while, huh? I am thinking about changing everything. I have been busy lately. With school and work and pretending that I'm working on my house. I plan to, I just never seem to get around to it.
I had a long talk with my English professor yesterday. Today I am seeming to remember that I am supposed to be living right now. She's been to England three times. I want to go to England.
I am going to save.
I am going to travel.
After I graduate college, I am going to drive.
Think I'll go where ever I want.
Probably California.
Unpack my house.
Write.
Major in Psychology.
Maybe talk to crazy people, maybe go into advertising.
Either way I'll wear heels to work.
Hizzah

...Created 2009-10-06 09:44:15

dotsJournal: Relieveddots
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Mood: Juggling Tasks

I got into UAH!
I start this summer
I also got the Pell Grant...

I am moving out this summer as soon after graduation as possible.

May 29

Hell yes.

...Created 2008-12-12 02:21:00

dotsJournal: Jesus...dots
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Mood: Overwhelmed

Wow...

College..
Shit. When did this happen?
It wasn't anything but a whim, and now I am meeting scholarship and application deadlines.

ACT....

...Created 2008-09-17 00:44:48

dotsJournal: Fucking Headachdots
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Mood: Senior...

humph. who'd have thought.

...Created 2008-08-05 07:07:54

dotsJournal: dots
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Mood: You Know

The Times They Are A Changin'

...Created 2008-07-16 00:52:55

dotsJournal: Heydots
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Mood: Scary Things, Main

Don't do that..

Hey. Heeeey.

Stop it.

But you. You don't.


Got it everyone?

...Created 2007-11-08 23:04:37

dotsJournal: dots
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Mood: The Usual

I guess I needed something new to say. SO here it is: I am still alive, who'd 've thunk it, huh? Well, I think we needed some space. Absence maketh my heart grow fonder? Me thinks so.

...Created 2007-10-05 22:06:08

dotsJournal: dots
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Mood: The Usual

Army. Yes

20 weeks.

Then the rest of six years.

Leaving.. ... Tuesday.

T W O D A Y S .

...Created 2007-09-03 03:25:33