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    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    Sometimes I feel like banging on the window, bang until someone listens, until someone looks my way.

    I feel like I'm living and writing in this fishbowl, just hoping someone will glance this way.

    But I'm afraid of pushing through...
    what if it's not solid glass?
    what if it's dense but pleasurable goo
    and I'll just slip through?

    what if I become visible?
    a spotlight shining bright on my forehead...
    a sudden target?

    There's that thrill and the fear... and... and that gripping feeling clutching my heart.

    All these what if's...
    All this stationary action,
    All this doing nothing for the sake of not moving,
    All this feeling in silence...

    What happened to all the guts?
    what happened to rushing into that force of nature,
    to being consumed by the dark, stormy and electric night?

    what happened to all those guts...

    ...Created 2017-06-19 14:41:20

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    We don't talk anymore but the essence of your words smoke that refuses to evaporate.

    Your beauty and your soul persist into existence and I hunger for the sound of your voice.

    I am hungry for words, for soulful divulgence of secrets and heart to hearts...

    I send this message to the world, to the winds, in hopes that prophetic dreams will reach you and you will feel my presence like I feel yours

    I hope my smoke lingers...

    ...Created 2017-06-16 11:33:56

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    I am far cooler and accomplished in the resume of my goals than in the reality of my accomplishments.

    The musings of my heart reflect a soul yearning for excitement and adventure

    The woman that I want to be, stands and feels exotic places while the small child watches on adoringly.

    ...Created 2016-11-16 15:35:40

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    I miss the roughness and awkwardness of the internet. The metallic feel of the environment, before design and proper structure, took over.

    It used to make me feel like I was diving into an unknown matrix-like world and now every time I virtually walk into a website I feel like I'm walking into a McDonalds-- everything far too shiny and new.

    ...Created 2016-11-16 13:47:09

    dotsJournal: Demands dots
    Mood: The Usual

    How obvious and quaint... How unoriginal in thought and embrace... How can you be remembered, quoted and dissected if you don't make them work for it? make them think of the meaning, allow them to dive deep into the massive sea of your words? what of the imagery? of the prose? the delicate balance of showing enough but not all, in order to entice the crowd... Ask for more! how vain of you to demand attention, ruffle your feathers with intention... as a way to be heard? It's a constant endless chatter, and the battle of this online war doesn't seem to end. The silence of words replaced with the noisy metal ticks drilling away.

    ...Created 2016-09-14 12:01:40

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    All the twists and turns we've done have led us into knots
    and we keep twirling, changing, twisting, in disbelief, protesting the intertwining act.

    The balancing act of our future and the past... somehow you've fooled me into thinking that the invisible net shined bright.

    The twig rings we shared have become barren and our attempt to turn straw into gold has left us empty of chest and mind.

    We are older and sunken, shriveled and decaying. We have lots the bits of ourselves that believed in... so many things, so many impossible things.

    And the hardest thing that I'll have to do is watch the mark of twig fade from my skin.

    Watch as as everything fades into itself, and our story comes to an end.

    Is it relief and peace or does it only feel like that in the absence of the weight, the comfort and warmth you provided?

    ...Created 2016-03-17 15:19:54

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    I'm afraid to speak, to use my words, to share thoughts, memories and fears. These digital footsteps that I leave behind. Breadcrumbs I hope some will find...and others not so much. I don't want to be discovered. I want to hide in plain sight. Oh! the bliss of the anonymous mask! I wish you would stumble upon my words, recognize them as my digital print, the signature that emits a signal, a yearning for... for what really? for who? for you? Can there really still be a yearning for you? After all this time? After all the learning and pain? After all the years and things that we've past? It's too late to turn back... too late to be who we were... who we thought we've become... I like to live in the hopeful future of our past, the kid-like yearning we had, the dreams we shared, the words exchanged. but now, all of that is gone. The strength of being awake amidst the sea of those who were not, it has taken a toll on our minds. We submitted to the counterparts of our present. There is no turning back, not with all the baggage we've collected.

    ...Created 2016-02-25 15:07:54

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    You've drenched me with your melancholy. I think of you again and it's like a sickness that spreads. Once I start, once I give in to your face, your thoughts, your memories I can't help but dive in... deep into the memory of you, into the olfactory remnants of our ... ellipses. I can feel your touch, light and ghostly, memories that will never materialized again. And you've taken a part of my heart. I realize that now, you walked away that night and took a piece of my heart. Small and insignificant, I thought but now I ache for that speck, that part that belongs to me. Release me or crush me all at once.

    ...Created 2015-06-30 16:52:54

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    Those pesky habits...

    ...Created 2015-03-09 09:44:55

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    you are the voice of my conscience, the person I remember becoming

    you're the sweetest sound I've heard, the most tangible form of love

    you are my temptation and my desire to sin, the constant vision of my life, the moral compass I choose to have...

    you are the one thing I cannot have... the one choice I willingly lost.

    ...Created 2015-02-04 14:24:52

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    AI written by poetotoe
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Love written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Push written by JanePlane
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Fasade written by jackz
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Every..... written by jackz
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Etiquette written by saartha
    untitled written by ShyOne




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    January 10 07
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