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    dotsJournal: back..again.dots
    Mood: Head Aching

    holy god, its been ages since ive been back not sure if im comfortable yet...but let me get my feet wet again, im sure ill come around. i apologize to anyone thats been trying to get a hold of me/commenting on my EXTREMELY OLD writings/sending search parties out after the decaying corpse of leper messiah. alas, im here...again...i dont know for how long. but ill do my best. i promise. and since i havent been writing and what i have been is trash, i dont have any contributions to put up yet. but perhaps..with a little hope..and luck...and meds of some head will be at least a little straight someday. peace and out for now, and kisses and heart-shaped things to all who have not forgotten me

    ~leper m.

    ...Created 2006-03-23 20:58:57

    dotsJournal: recoveringdots
    Mood: Straightening things out...

    hey all.

    feeling a lot better since the night before's little escapade i took to the ER. I had a slight problem overdose...but things have been flushed out of me and intra venously put into me and so i think im on the track to victory now...thanks to all who checked in (SugarMouse and Someone's Epiphany, you guys rock my world). tonight im kind of chillin out, i didn't go to my friends' apartment because i knew i would drink, and im taking a night off in my health's request. <pats self on shoulder>. g'nite for now, Elite, have pleasant evenings.


    ...Created 2005-08-16 22:54:06

    dotsJournal: hospitals are..dots
    Mood: Sick

    well. hello everyone this pleasant sticky August night...

    ive not too much to say tonight, must make this quick but wanted to pop in for a minute. i feel really exhausted...i just came home from the emergency room, very bushed, beaten... i will explain more tomorrow when i have more energy, but for now...i just thought i should say hello and good night to all of you. talk more to you tomorrow, dears. don't worry for me...i have enough of that to do on my own.

    sorry this is so short and melodramatic, but ehh...
    feel better April.
    Okay, thanks. i hope so...

    <restless sleep curled up in chair by computer follows>

    ...Created 2005-08-14 23:52:16

    dotsJournal: the wilddots
    Mood: Lonely

    to be in the wild...the incurable panoramic wild...this is something that has recently crossed my mind. how sleep comes much easier out on the pillowy nemophile, when the summer is mild and the wind lifts the dew in a sprinkled-on smile..i don't have a house, i don't have a child. i do have some dreams...waiting for me in the wild.

    ...Created 2005-08-10 23:02:33

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: Thinking...

    i need to come back. i don't know if anyone here that was here is still here...but i want to come back. hope its not too late, that ive not been forgotten...

    ...Created 2005-08-08 22:14:14

    dotsJournal: back...?????dots
    Mood: Just Hungry

    hey...its been a super long time, kids. but who knows...i think i may come back and party with the Elitists once more...whats been transpiring since i been away, anything decent or interesting...??? who's really gonna answer this anyway, more importantly...

    well. still in school at my blessed community college. havin way more fun than ever expected, i've made so many friends its really wuite incredible. i hang out there when i'm not workin or doin other stuff, thats how close i've grown to those buggers...ah, good times.

    i still write, but not anythin really worth posting, i don't think...but then again, who knows. i shall come back and put some stuff up if you guys are willin to spot me and check up on it, i dunno if thats worth your time or not...but yeah.

    may be goin to a hospital again for a short intermission from life, some things have gotten a lil out of hand...but enough about that cuz i don't really feel like talkin about it! and i have waaaaayyyy too many feelings going on inside this troubled head of mine. so i'll just leave it at "just hungry", like that mood says, and catch you ho's latah!


    ...Created 2005-02-21 13:20:31

    dotsJournal: tp punish...dots
    Mood: Relaxing


    (i mean this literally, guys...c' knows i hates capital letters! and punk-shoe-a-shun...GOD!!!)

    anyway...i need a feel-good song, its been a while since i could say...well, that i been "happy". so i'm gonna say it really sublime...


    I don't wanna go and party
    I don't wanna shoot the pier
    I don't wanna take the doggie out for a walk
    I don't wanna look at naked chicks and drink beer
    I don't wanna do a bong load and go and wrench on the car
    I don't wanna go and hose the dogshit down
    Cause i ain't even gonna get out of bed
    Keep on skankin' ronnie skank the night away
    But the time is comin' for us all to pay
    I don't wanna watch no porno
    I don't wanna play guitar
    I don't wanna spank the monkey
    I don't wanna go down to the corner bar
    Ain't even got to listen to all the stupid shit you got to say
    I don't wanna do a god damn thing
    I ain't gonna make my bed today
    I don't wanna eat burritos or read about o.j.
    Ain't gonna get a head rush cause i ain't gettin out of bed today

    yeah kids.

    ...Created 2004-12-18 18:35:50

    dotsJournal: wtf man...dots
    Mood: Confused

    guys suck...why do they lie. and why do i believe them every single time...and keep coming back for more...

    Maybe I act on confused behavior
    Maybe waves crash like semi trailer
    Maybe Iíll spend my off time without you
    It seems like we need our own space

    And all the time I wasted away
    I donít feel good unless you stay
    And all the times I chased you away
    Simply to catch back up with

    Your solitude is welcome
    Your attitude is welcome

    All you see is red lights behind me
    Maybe this isnít what you wanted baby
    I donít blame you falling backwards
    No oneís ever quite confused you this way

    And all this time we wasted away
    We donít feel good unless weíre gray
    And all the times I chased you away
    I simply donít feel good

    All this time, we heard alarms
    Come to find, we fell apart
    This whole thing has crashed down, crashed down
    All this time, we heard alarms

    You are welcome

    ~Alien Ant Farm

    ...Created 2004-12-10 21:21:50

    dotsJournal: play with firedots
    Mood: Lonely

    well...its friday and everyone is befitting...i am lonely, guys...!!!

    lets see...i guess i'll take a walk over to my fave place and yours, the great humbling Barnes and Noble...its about a mile and some change from my house, but...i really need somethin to do!!! a little walk would be just the thing i think my soul is not here, i cannot find it lying around this house must already be out wandering. how it escapes me...perhaps thats why i'm lonely, too...i hear those souls provide closure of some kinds. without it i'm just a sullen girl...

    Well, you've got your diamonds and you've got your pretty clothes
    And the chauffeur drives your car
    You let everybody know...

    But don't play with me, 'cause you're playing with fire

    Your mother she's a heiress, owns a block in Saint John's Wood
    And your father'd be there with her
    If he only could...

    But don't play with me, 'cause you're playing with fire

    Your old man took her diamonds and tiaras by the score
    Now she gets her kicks in Stepney,
    Not in Knightsbridge anymore...

    So don't play with me, 'cause you're playing with fire

    Now you've got some diamonds, and you will have some others
    But you'd better watch your step, girl
    Or start living with your mother...

    So don't play with me, 'cause you're playing with fire
    So don't play with me, 'cause you're playing with fire

    ...Created 2004-12-03 14:00:37

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: At War

    ya know what, i was fine not even an hour ago...then someone had to go and fuckin ruin it. i hate my goddamn sister...twin or not, she really needs to lighten up and learn what is hurtful and what isn't. her sister suffers from an eating disorder and she can't be compassionate about it...gotta rub everything in my face. and there's no ending it here...the disease has been lurking around here for probably like 6 years now, and she still thinks she can treat me like shit. this really is taking a toll on me. i feel sorry for myself. this is over...

    i feel like i can't handle any more. i'm too tired and sinister and wrecked by it. let it ignore me, let the world go on. no one should pay me any mind. it should all just be one big comedy...a Divine Comedy. i already have my seat reserved in hell...look for me when you get there, i'll be serving ice water.

    Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself
    All day -- and all night
    I wander the halls along the walls and under my breath
    I say to myself
    I need fuel -- to take flight --

    And there's too much going on
    But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion
    Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion

    Is that why they call me a sullen girl -- sullen girl
    They don't know I used to sail the deep and tranquil sea
    But he washed me shore and he took my pearl --
    And left an empty shell of me

    And there's too much going on
    But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion
    Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
    Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
    It's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion

    ~Sullen Girl, Fiona Apple

    ...Created 2004-11-22 13:53:50

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Chelebel
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Incubus written by monad
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Wavelength written by saartha
    To written by SavedDragon
    Giving written by jjd
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    ME written by jjd
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore




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